


Step By Step

by eldee



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 90s boyband AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Modern AU with Magic, entertainment industry homophobia, established relationship barebacking, minor character death (canon compliant), religious discrimination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-15
Updated: 2012-08-15
Packaged: 2017-11-12 03:52:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 66,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/486388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eldee/pseuds/eldee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Knights: A Boy Band. (Or, rather, the ten year span of how Arthur Pendragon discovers who he truly is by going from teen idol to solo sensation, maintaining friendships with his Knights and close staff, inheriting a musical empire, and happening to find his #1 fan, best friend, and eventual love along the way.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Step One - We Can Have Lots Of Fun

**Author's Note:**

> **Graphics/Downloads:** This fic is very graphic heavy. If you download the AO3 mobi/epub version, it will not include the graphics. However, the AO3 PDF version will include the graphics. If you'd like one without, you can get it from [here](http://www.mediafire.com/?8p1u7pwv6zubbum). gwyntastic's amazing graphics can be viewed separately [here](http://shoppery.livejournal.com/3159.html) on her lj. (With the embedded images in the story, you can click on them and they'll open in a new tab in a larger size.)
> 
>  **Author's Notes:** The fic title and the chapter titles are borrowed from the _New Kids On The Block_ song "Step By Step." *NSync was used as a loose inspiration to base some of this on (mostly beginning timelines, my apologies if it doesn't quite follow British music of the time). I have not read any boy band-ers books or personal memoirs nor have I paid any particular attention to interviews for years, so any similarities there are entirely coincidental, and I certainly don't know any of them personally.  
>  There are references to the Old Religion (Druidism) within this story, which is only meant to be a parallel to the television show as a modern AU substitute but not reflective of actual current day beliefs. No offence or misrepresentation is intended.
> 
>  **Special Thanks:** To a fabulous support team, fuzzytomato for the cheerleading and encouragement, leashy_bebes for the amazing beta/Brit-pick and answering many questions about suitable British media and giving excellent suggestions to include. And a huge, _huge_ thank you to gwyntasic for being a fabulous artist for one of my fics _again_ like the complete rockstar she is. She went absolutely above and beyond with this, doing much more than I could've ever expected. As always, my dear, it was wonderful doing this collaboration with you! 
> 
> **Disclaimer:** The characters depicted herein belong to Shine and BBC. I make no profit from this endeavour.

  


**

[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part1/2covertheknights.png)[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part1/3tracktheknights.png)  
_The Knights_ self-titled debut album  
Track List:

1\. Road to Destiny // 2. Valiant Man // 3. Backfired  
4\. Life's Sacrifice // 5. Honourable // 6. The Remedy  
7\. More Than You Appear // 8. The Beginning of the End  
9\. Haunting Past Back // 10. Moment of Truth  
11\. Tests of Heart // 12. Treason's Innocence  
13\. A Willing Price

**

[ ](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part1/4TheGuardianReview%20March1997.png)

 

**Camelot Records: Fueling The Boy Band Hype**  
 _The Guardian Review  
March, 1997_

_The popularity of boy bands and girl groups is sweeping the world once again, a revival of the music genre from the late 80s thought to have faded away. It's no surprise that Camelot Records, one of Britain's most established and successful record companies, is using that for what it's worth and pumping out music. Fabricated and marketed to capture the hearts of teen girls everywhere, perhaps, but there are legions of fans who love and support it. Their latest endeavour is a quartet of attractive young men called The Knights._

_There is something a little different about The Knights that sets them apart from other groups, that makes it more personal for Camelot Records -- one fourth of the group is homegrown._

_Leader of the pack is 18-year-old Arthur Pendragon, son of Uther Pendragon, founder and CEO of Camelot Records. His uncle, Agravaine de Bois, is the manager of The Knights. However, it is said that he gets no favours or special treatment and he works just as hard as all the others. His voice is genuine and natural; that, plus his good looks, are clearly passed down from his stunning, talented soul-singing mother, the late Ygraine Pendragon. Time will tell whether or not he has the sharp, shark-like business sense of his father._

_The other members of the group are Elyan Smith, 20-year-old son of Thomas Smith who is a long-time employee of Camelot Records, Lance du Lac, 23-years-old, and Gwaine Orkney, 25._

_"I've known Elyan for years," Arthur tells us in a recent phone interview. "We took music lessons together a few years back -- we both play the piano and other instruments as well as sing -- and it was my father that suggested we form a group since our sounds went together so well."_

_As for the other two young men that form the rest of the group?_

_"Annoying buskers at the tube station!" Arthur says with laugh. "It was my idea to have them try out; I passed them nearly every day on the way to lessons and was always amazed by their voices. One day, I couldn't help myself, I joined in singing 'She Loves You.' The rest is history."_

_Well, then. Perhaps the young Pendragon does have an ear and an eye for gathering up talent after all._

_It may be that Lance and Gwaine don't have the polished background of the other two, but all together their talent is undeniable, and the four of them make a balanced sound. Their first album is full of dance songs and heartfelt (if somewhat cheesy) ballads, with titles such as 'Moment of Truth' and 'The Remedy', both of which come with music videos to match._

_The real fun is watching them perform live and this is where they will leave their mark in the memories of anyone who sees them. Whether it's to electronic pre-recorded dance music, backed up by instruments they don't play live, or a capella, you won't find a smidgen of lip-syncing, and there is plenty of choreographed dancing to keep it entertaining._

_How long this music fad lasts, and just how far these boys will go, remains to be seen._

**

Arthur smiled at the small crowd of fans that were crammed into the tiny sound stage. They were doing this, really bloody doing this -- a television interview, performance, and all that jazz -- and in a foreign country too. Being in Germany ruled. Yes, hitting the charts in England, of course that was amazing, but knowing that their music was spreading like wildfire -- well, nothing beat that.

The music station presenter that was hosting the interview was a cute petite brunette called Nina with a heavy accent but fluent in English. She glanced at her cue card, then looked up at The Knights with a mischievous grin. "And how would you describe your perfect kind of girl?"

They hadn't done all that many interviews yet, but enough that the questions were already repeated and _of course_ they would bring up the opposite sex. It had been drilled into their heads -- it sells, it's what the fans want, it's the demographic, all that sort of deal. They'd play this PR game since that was how you'd make it in the industry. And they were determined to make it.

Arthur kept his smile perfectly in place, never letting it waver.

He jumped in with an answer right away, lest it be _Gwaine_ who got there first, because lord knows what that tosser would say. Gwaine was already on thin ice with Uther, but Arthur had vouched for him, and he really, really wanted this to work.

"Loyalty," Arthur said. "Someone who is supportive and who's there for me, someone that I could confide in when things get a bit crazy."

Arthur was pretty sure there was a collective sigh from all the female fans, which was most of them. Damn, he was good at this.

"I agree," Lancelot said. It was no hardship for the girls to turn their attention to the soft-spoken member of the group. He'd already been dubbed _the sweet one_ , and with his kind eyes and earnest smile, that was no surprise. "Plus, a gentle soul, someone who is kind and giving, just because she wants to be."

"That's lovely," Nina said. She looked at Gwaine, and Arthur didn't miss how her smile changed, became a bit edgier, sharper.

"Fun," Gwaine said, charming smile beaming right back at her. "Someone who can laugh at me, and who can make me laugh. And doesn't mind putting up with a rascal like me."

The interviewer laughed, and some of the girls giggled. Gwaine was already making waves as the group's wild bad boy.

Gwaine grinned slyly. "That, plus a big--"

"Heart," Elyan interjected smoothly. Which was a good thing, because Arthur's own heart had started pounding wildly as he imagined Gwaine filling the rest of that sentence in with _rack_ or _tits_ or _tendency to spread her legs_ or whatever horribly crass thing that was actually crossing his mind.

Arthur had no doubt that Gwaine would fill them in on that later in the van on the way back to the hotel room.

"Of course," Gwaine said graciously. His eyes swept around the room, as if he was looking at every single girl there, erasing from their minds the blunder he'd just about fell into. There was a soft tittering and all was forgiven.

Christ, but he was good too.

"Of course," Nina echoed. She turned to the fans and smiled widely. "Now, ladies, before we get the boys to perform a song for us --" She was cut off as loud applause filled the little studio, and she had to pat her hand in the air, trying to get them all to calm down. When she could continue, she said, "First, why don't we get some of you to ask a couple questions? Lighten up my load a little." She laughed as she went to the crowd with her microphone.

Arthur shifted on the hard wooden seat of his chair and bit back nervousness. This part always felt a bit like a wild card -- who knew what these girls would ask, or say, or expect of them? It didn't really matter as long as the four of them answered as if they were the best questions in all of existence.

They were pretty simple questions, though. Favourite colour, favourite movie, favourite dinner. Lots of interest in what Arthur, Gwaine, Lance and Elyan liked best, though there were some 'least' questions thrown in too. A little bit about families. Really easy, sweet stuff. This they could handle, and Arthur had an idle thought about whether or not the questions had been vetted first. Smart thing, if they had.

Nina announced she would take one more question and then walked straight over to where a girl and a _guy_ were standing.

There weren't often guys at these things and Arthur had noticed earlier -- it had been impossible not too. He was Arthur's age, or maybe a year or two younger, but certainly not a kid like some of the audience, and was tall and gangly with a mop of dark hair that didn't quite cover ridiculous ears that stuck out. Arthur had seen him as soon as they had walked out into the sound stage, but then had resolutely tried not to look in his direction again.

Now he saw that there was a short girl next to him, turned towards him, and they were obviously there together. She had chocolate brown hair and big doe eyes, and looked rather startled when Nina approached her. 

"And what about you, lovely?" Nina asked. "Anything you wish to ask? What's your name?"

The girl looked at Nina, then to the guy. He gave a smile, a lot less nervous than his friend.

"She's called Freya. Don't think she quite expected this," he answered, voice thick with a familiar British accent. Interesting.

There were encouraging noises from the crowd. Gwaine said, "Then maybe you'd like to ask on her behalf ..." He trailed off, making it clear a name was to be filled in.

Arthur glanced over and saw Gwaine give a sweet smile to Freya -- or the guy, perhaps, and Arthur could barely restrain an eye roll. He made a mental note to take the piss out of Gwaine about it later. He was too old for either of them.

"Merlin," the boy -- Merlin -- said. He didn't seem nervous, or out of place, in the crowd of teenaged girls that surrounded him. Hell, he probably loved it. "And, sure, I can ask a question." He bent down a bit, and Freya leaned up to whisper into his ear. But Merlin's eyes swept over the line of boy band members and settled on Arthur.

A thrill ran down Arthur's spine, tingling and confusing. He blinked, but didn't look away. Merlin smiled, bright and lovely -- wait, no, not lovely, just bright and, uh, wide. Or something. Right. God, what was Arthur _thinking_?

"Could you describe what your perfect date would be?" Merlin asked all of them.

His eyes never left Arthur's.

Arthur forced himself to look away, to nod along thoughtfully to Lance's answer, grin at Elyan's, laugh at Gwaine's. But he could feel Merlin's eyes locked on his profile, looking at him, staring him down. And finally it was Arthur's turn, and he opened his mouth--

\-- and nothing came out.

The set was silent, waiting for his answer. God, his father was going to kill him -- this was the perfect opportunity to get 'fan points', as he so liked to say. Play up to the female fans and all that. Say whatever would sound good, make them swoon, make them watch videos and buy CDs and want to go to concerts to see them dance and sing their way across the stage.

"Cat got your tongue, Arthur?" Gwaine asked teasingly. Arthur glanced at him, and thought that maybe, just maybe, Gwaine understood what was going on. But that'd be just ridiculous, it's not like Arthur has ever --

Arthur smiled good-humouredly and shook his head. "Of course not," he said. "I'm just trying to think of a way to answer without spoiling the surprise of a potentially perfect date some day. Would be a shame, that." Arthur looked directly at Nina, though in the corner of his eye he could make out that earnest face and those ridiculous ears.

Arthur smiled. "Guess I'll just have to let the lucky person know when the date happens."

Arthur would swear that the air in the room bent under the swoons of a couple dozen fangirls, and that would be a saving grace when his father watched this interview. Nina herself laughed and there was a pink blush to her cheeks.

"Of course you will," she said. "Lucky lady indeed. Now, girls -- and gentleman, mustn't forget you, Merlin," there was giggling throughout the crowd, "how about we get these Knights to _perform_?"

A cheer went up, and Arthur knew that this, that moment right there, was what it was all about. It was worth all of it.

**

"Your father is going to _kill_ you," Gwaine said a little too gleefully, throwing his arms around Arthur's neck and putting him in a headlock. "Lets me off the hook for once." 

"Piss off, Gwaine!" Arthur struggled against his grip, body flopping all over the back bench in the van. They'd left the television station and were heading back to their hotel.

"Leon!" Arthur called out. "Leon, get this oversized -- wanker -- stop!"

"Wanker?" Gwaine grunted when he caught one of Arthur's elbows to the stomach. It just made him squeeze harder.

"Leon!" Arthur tried again.

"Driving, Arthur," Leon said mildly. Which was true, he was the driver and one of the bodyguards for The Knights -- the other was Percy, who was in the front seat next to Leon. Lance and Elyan were in the middle bench, turned around to watch Arthur and Gwaine tussle.

"You sods," Arthur croaked out, jabbing Gwaine with his elbow again, "could bloody help here."

"He's right, you know," Elyan said, not moving an inch. They all knew by now to not get Gwaine's attention or they'd be next on the shit list, "your father is going to, at the very least, yell his head off at you."

Arthur dug his nails into Gwaine's forearm, causing him to yelp and let go. But Gwaine only laughed as Arthur scrambled away, sliding to the far end of the bench, kicking at Gwaine's shin as he went.

"What're you lot talking about?" he mumbled, rubbing at his neck. "If you've wrecked my voice, my father is going to kill _you_."

"Nobody," Leon said calmly from the front, "is going to kill anyone."

Percy paused for a moment. "Probably."

They snickered as Arthur stuck his middle finger up at them, then slumped down in the seat with his arms crossed. He knew he was pouting like a petulant child, and he tried really hard not to be the 'baby' of the group, as so much of their press liked to call him, but _fuck_. Sometimes the rest of them treated him that way.

"Back to the topic, before I was so rudely interrupted by having to kick your arse," Gwaine said, easily moving his thigh out of the range of Arthur's shoe. He smirked at Arthur and said, "Lucky _person_?"

Lance, who seemed to not pick up on what Gwaine had originally been getting at, or not caring much, got it now. His eyebrows rose and a small, " _Oh_ ," released from his lips.

"Yeah? You on the same page as everyone else?" Gwaine said, playfully punching Lance's arm.

"No page," Arthur huffed. "No page to be on."

"Lucky _person_ ," Gwaine stressed yet again. "You say this to a perfectly lovely boy."

"He's too young for you," Arthur said immediately.

"But not _you_."

"Shut up," Arthur growled. "That's not -- shut _up_."

Surprisingly, everyone did fall quiet, for a moment. Lance was the first to speak. "It's all right, you know? It's not like any of us would care --"

"Stop it," Arthur interrupted. "You don't know what you're talking about. It's not -- girls, okay? Girls."

He could see Leon and Percy exchange a look, and the other three Knights did too.

Elyan tried again, his voice gentle. "Look, just because your father--"

"You don't know anything about my father."

"Right," Gwaine said flatly. "No idea what the man is thinking. Why he makes you bleach your already blond hair, or why Elyan isn't supposed to swear because he's the nice boy-next-door one, or why I'm made to cut my hair short and shave my beard --"

"That's because you're _old_ ," Arthur said. "Okay, it makes sense to not look like a scruffy, long-haired hippie. Even you can't argue that."

"Fuck you, twenty-five is _not_ old," Gwaine said, reaching to grab at Arthur's neck again. Arthur easily jerked out of reach.

"It's ancient," Arthur said. "Boy band ancient. You're only here because I like you. And only sometimes, at that."

For once, Gwaine looked affronted, but everyone just laughed. Arthur felt a bit guilty, deep down, because he knew -- they all probably did -- just how true that was. Uther Pendragon did not see the benefit to having Gwaine in the group, but Arthur had pulled for him -- Gwaine had talent, a lot more than Uther was willing to tap into.

"It's okay, sugar lips," Elyan said, batting his eyelashes at Gwaine. "We know there's more to you than a pretty face. You have good abs, too."

"I swear, one more shirtless photoshoot," Lance mumbled to himself.

"You love it!" Arthur and Gwaine shouted out in unison. Gwaine took it a step further and jumped forward, half-throwing himself over the seat so that he could wrap his arms around Lance's neck, hands ruffling through Lance's hair. Lance only half-heartedly attempted to shove him off, laughing along with everyone else instead.

Arthur laughed too, but was grateful that everyone let the subject of his -- preferences -- rest. He wondered just how long that would last.

**

It didn't last long at all. 

Arthur was anxious that night, and he didn't know how to burn off the extra energy. He should be tired; interviews and dancing and singing in the studio could be draining, but he found himself on edge, mind wandering to places that it shouldn't.

He was sharing a room with Elyan, who was off in one of the little phone cubicles in the front foyer, calling his sweetheart Mary back home. It was all very hush-hush, of course, since they all needed to look available and attainable but Arthur envied Elyan that. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to, someone to go home to. He knew he was young, but he'd much rather that then have a string of people he'd hooked up with across Britain and part of Europe, like Gwaine did.

Speaking of ... Arthur decided to go and find Gwaine and Lance. Their room was only just across the hall but maybe they were watching the telly or could help Arthur convince Percy or Leon to let them go for a walk or _something_.

Arthur knocked on their door with three crisp raps.

There was a muffled reply, but Arthur didn't miss Gwaine's gruff, " _What_?"

"It's Arthur," he said. He grabbed the doorknob, though it was locked as he suspected, and jiggled it. The door made a rattling noise, loose in its frame; until they were actually famous and bringing in cash, expenses really _could_ be spared. Their hotel rooms were usually shit and they always double bunked.

"Go away, Arthur," Gwaine replied.

"No! Come on, I'm bored. Let's do something."

Arthur could hear Lance, voice low but not clear, and Gwaine grumbling in reply.

Oh, yeah. They were going to let him in. Arthur smirked at the door in victory. Arthur Pendragon would not be denied.

Lance pulled open the door, his hands running through his hair, as if to smooth it. His cheeks were a bit pink and, wait.

Arthur frowned. "Why is your shirt on inside out?"

"No reason," Lance said, too quickly. "We were just --"

"Doing push ups," Gwaine said. His voice was dripping in sarcasm, and Lance rolled his eyes.

"That's stupid," Arthur said, brushing past Lance. Gwaine was sitting in a hardback chair, his guitar securely on his lap. "You were not."

Gwaine picked at a string or two, humming in tune under his breath. "How do you know?" His cheeks were pink too.

"Whatever," Arthur said. "Let's do something."

"Oh, do you want to join us in our--"

"Gwaine," Lance warned. His voice was as soft as always, but there was something in it that made even Gwaine pause for a moment.

Gwaine shrugged. "We were perfectly occupied, thank you very much."

"What's your plan, Arthur?" Lance said, ignoring Gwaine's comment. They'd all learned it was the best thing to do, sometimes, if you actually wanted to get anywhere serious in a conversation.

Arthur shrugged. "I don't know. I'm -- I don't know, restless? I could actually do with a workout. Should we see if there's a gym downstairs?"

Gwaine snorted. "In this rat hole? Not likely. Besides, we told you, we were already getting a workout--"

Gwaine trailed off and gave Arthur a _look_. Arthur would never, ever say he was the kind of guy who got thrown-off -- he did perform in front of crowds of people, after all, and he'd never once got stage fright, not once -- but that look that Gwaine gave him ... well, it looked a little too predatory for what Arthur liked.

"Gwaine, no," Lance said with a groan. "That's -- he's just a kid!"

"I'm eighteen!" Arthur said, indignant. Jesus, what the hell were they going on about?

"Too young for us," Lance pointed out. He grinned at Gwaine. "Especially you."

"Oh, fuck off," Gwaine said happily. "All right, then. We should help get this kid--"

"Oh fuck _you_ , stop calling me a kid!"

"-- some action. Some of the stuff he'd like."

"What are you talking about?" Arthur asked.

Gwaine set down his guitar carefully and jumped up, adjusting his pants. "Come on, mate, we're taking you to a club. There's this one I heard all about, was just telling Lance all about it earlier. Think you'd really enjoy it, Arthur."

Arthur could feel his face light up. "All right, then!"

"Not all right," Lance said with a groan. "That -- Gwaine, no. Mr. Pendragon would throw a fit."

"He doesn't have to know," Gwaine said.

Arthur bit the corner of his lip, but then nodded. "Right, he doesn't. It's fine." It's not like he hadn't snuck out to the clubs with them before. He was eighteen now, he could even stay later _and_ get some drinks. 

"And we really shouldn't be wandering out alone," Lance said. "Some people actually know us here."

"Most of our fans probably aren't old enough to even get into clubs," Arthur pointed out. He really _really_ wanted to go.

"That's -- so wrong, in so many ways," Lance said unhappily.

"That's the world of pop music," Gwaine said. He grinned, sly. "And I don't think we'll have to worry about that."

Lance tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. "Actually, there's a good chance that -- but, no, we shouldn't go anyway."

"Leon will come," Arthur said. "If I asked, he'd do it."

He could tell by the defeated slope of Lance's shoulders that they'd won this round. He and Gwaine gave each other a high five.

**

Arthur was tricked. Tricked by Gwaine, that no good rotten dirty scoundrel. 

What was worst of all, Arthur hadn't realised he was tricked, not at first. Not until they got into the club, and they were at the bar, about to order a drink. Arthur couldn't keep his eyes from wandering, taking in all the people as the bright club lights shone through darkness. Gorgeous young men in jeans and tight shirts, a lot with hair bleached like Arthur's, or shorn close to the head. Young men everywhere, at the bar, grinding on the dance floor, limbs and bodies matching the flow of the beat, young men --

Arthur pinched Gwaine's side and hissed in his ear, "This is a gay bar!"

Gwaine threw back his head and laughed. He put his hand in Lance's back pocket and drew him near. "What was the first clue? All the guys?"

"You -- my father is going to have a _fit_."

Leon was there too, keeping an eye on them --- though, he'd probably get reprimanded or maybe even fired for letting them out of the hotel and into a club, especially one like this. They'd left Elyan behind, Percy on guard nearby, and Elyan had promised to stay in their room and cover for them if needed. Quite frankly, he looked happy to have Arthur gone for a while, and he was no doubt going to rub one out to the echo of his girl's voice in his mind.

Gwaine smirked at Arthur. "Are you going to tell him?"

"No, but if he found out--"

"He won't," Gwaine said.

Lance mumbled, barely audible over the music, "For our sakes, let's hope he doesn't."

Gwaine repeated confidently, " _He won't_." He smiled at Leon, though by the stoic look on Leon's face, it slid right off. That didn't deter Gwaine, it never did. "Who is going to tell? Besides, this is for _you_ , Arthur."

"Me? What the bloody hell for?"

"So you can get some cock, mate," Gwaine said. He laughed at the look on Arthur's face. "I could've stayed at the hotel and got some myself, you know, so you better make use of this night."

Arthur could feel his cheeks heat up, and he wasn't exactly sure from what -- Gwaine's comments about him, or his implications that, well.

Lance leaned over, close up and smelling like a fresh shower. "We don't have to stay," he said into Arthur's ear. "If you want, we can go."

"It's fine," Arthur said. He wasn't going to back out of this. He'd have a drink, dance to a few songs, and show Gwaine he wasn't afraid. There was nothing _to_ be afraid of -- well, other than his father. But at the thought of defying him, just a little, maybe be a little like the man he wanted to be rather than the one that Uther and all his record execs insisted upon -- well, that was all right too.

"Let's get a drink," Arthur said. He smirked at Gwaine. "On you."

"Gladly," Gwaine said, and turned to the bar. He put in an order while Arthur watched the crowd. He couldn't help it; his feet started tapping to the beat, his head bobbing just a little. This was part of his world, just one piece of his arena, his grand tournament. Music and dancing, dancing and music, he was born for this. He could face this night.

Gwaine handed them drinks and they made their way against the crowd, moving to a more open space. Still, Lance pressed his body up against Arthur's, whispered into his ear, "You sure?"

Arthur nodded. He was sure.

He turned to Lance, slid an arm around his waist, and tugged him close. Lance gave a surprised look; Arthur glanced over at Gwaine, hoping for a similar one, but he was only smiling knowingly. Shrugging it off, he pulled Lance toward the dance floor.

"Come on, then. Let's dance."

**

After an hour of dancing, a few drinks to ease him into it, body loose and sweating, Arthur startled so bad he thought he was going to get crushed in the sea of dancers.

"Bollocks," he moaned.

Lance leaned in, ear tilted towards Arthur. "What?"

"Bollocks!" Arthur tried yelling over the steady _boom-boom-boom_ of the bass beat.

Lance shook his head, and Arthur pointed off to the side of the dance floor, where Gwaine was standing.

Talking to _Merlin_.

Lance's eyes went comically wide and Arthur could see him mouth _bollocks_.

"That's what I'm saying!" Arthur yelled. He grabbed Lance's elbow and dragged him off the dance floor. Everything in him was insisting that he should hide, run away, whatever, _something_ to avoid this situation -- but Arthur was no wuss, he wouldn't do that. He could face this straight on.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" he yelled, poking Gwaine in the shoulder. Clearly, this was all Gwaine's fault.

Gwaine gave him a bright smile. "Look who's here!" he said, throwing an arm around Merlin's shoulders.

Arthur spared a quick glance over to Merlin; he was tight in on himself, shoulders hunched, cheeks pink while he stared down at his shoes. He looked up through the fringe of his hair, blue eyes meeting Arthur's, almost a bit -- hopefully? Was that hopefully? Oh, bugger.

"Look, Merlin, we didn't know -- this club is by our hotel -- are you stalking us?" Arthur glared at Merlin. "You shouldn't be stalking us."

Merlin's eyes widened. "What? No! No, I'm -- this is -- I didn't know you would be here."

"Sure," Arthur said sarcastically. "Then just what are you doing here?"

Merlin's eyes blinked as his mouth went slack, confused at the question. Gwaine rolled his eyes. "You can not be _that_ daft, Arthur."

"What? It makes sense, he was at the show earlier and now he's here at -- _oh_." Arthur blinked at Merlin. "Well, then, I suppose that makes a lot of sense, now doesn't it?"

Merlin looked affronted. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Arthur just shrugged. "Well, you came to see us, and now you're here--"

"Well, so are _you_ ," Merlin said angrily. "What's that say about _you_?"

Arthur's eyes narrowed. "I will have you know--"

"Oh, for the love of God," Gwaine said. His arm dropped from Merlin and he pushed at Arthur's chest. "Let's go. Lance, make sure this lovely fan of ours doesn't hate us for all eternity, okay?"

Arthur swore that as he walked away he could hear Merlin mumble, "Not _all_ of you."

Arthur shrugged out of Gwaine's grip. "What the hell?"

"That should be my question," Gwaine said. He pulled Arthur off to the side, where there was more light and it was a bit quieter. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, insulting him like that?"

"It wasn't -- I mean, it was -- he's stalking us!"

"He's a kid away from home going out to a club! Just like _you_."

"You dragged me here," Arthur pointed out. "Plus, I think he's -- well. You know."

Gwaine rolled his eyes. "Just like _you_ ," he repeated.

"Shut up, Gwaine," Arthur said. "Just ... you can't say that."

"Fuck, your father has done a number on your head," Gwaine said. He almost sounded sad. "You don't know what's up from down, can't even make your own decisions."

"Sod off," Arthur said, poking Gwaine sharply in the ribs. "I can too. I know what's good for the band. And this--" He waved his arms around, encompassing everything around them, from the bar to the sneaking out to the guys to everything "-- isn't it!"

Gwaine sighed. "Fine. So this wasn't the best idea--"

"--Did you really just say that? Gwaine admitting he was _wrong_ \--"

"Shut it, I'm trying to be serious here, okay? Go with it. Come on, you should've played it up, had some fun with it. Not insult a fan who, as he promised me, wouldn't say anything."

"You don't know that," Arthur said automatically, although he was starting to feel a little bit guilty. "Look, can we just go?"

"Yeah," Gwaine said. "Though I'd been hoping you'd get laid tonight. For everyone's sake."

"Up yours," Arthur said flatly.

"Well, if that's what it takes."

Arthur punched him on the arm.

Lance came up to them then. "He said he wouldn't say anything."

Arthur sighed. "I know." That didn't change his mind about the night as a whole. "We're leaving."

"Sure," Lance said, watching Arthur carefully.

"Right. I'm going to go to the toilet," Arthur said, "while you go and get Leon and then we are going to go back to the hotel and pretending none of this happened."

"Right," Gwaine said, tugging on Lance's arm. "We'll just dance while we wait for you."

"Hey, no, wait," Arthur called out, but it was too late. Shit, he'd never get them off the dance floor. He sighed, but made his way through the crowd and to the toilets.

When he walked in, standing there was none other than Merlin, washing his hands in the sink. Arthur looked at him, shocked, and Merlin looked surprised when his eyes met Arthur's in the mirror reflection.

"Why are you _everywhere_ today?"

Merlin half looked like he wanted to hit Arthur upside the head, and half looked like he wanted to ask for an autograph. He did neither, but said, "I'm not going to tell anyone."

"That's what Gwaine -- you know, the guy who--"

"I know who Gwaine is," Merlin said with a roll of his eyes.

"Right. You're a fan," Arthur said. It was a word he had grown to like, to be fond of and appreciate, and he tried to remember that while facing the one who could possibly ruin his entire career before it really even got started. "Well, Gwaine said you said you wouldn't say anything to anyone."

"I won't! I promise!" Merlin took a step forward toward Arthur, and it just made Arthur freeze in place. Merlin stopped, but looked like he was desperate to have Arthur understand. "I know what it's like to have to keep secrets, ones that help protect yourself, and other people."

Arthur nodded. So Merlin wasn't out, exactly, or whatever. "Yeah. Well. Thanks."

Merlin nodded. "I'm here tonight because, you know, away from home for the weekend and everything." He shrugged. "Thought I'd go out."

There was a twist in Arthur's stomach at the thought of it, familiar but not exactly wanted at the moment. "And your friend?"

"Freya?" Merlin's eyes lit up. "My best friend. She's here, I lost her in the crowd." His smile grew wider. "I'm sure she's making the best of it."

"Right," Arthur said. He had no idea what else to say. "So, right. I should--"

"I like your music," Merlin said quickly. He blushed a little. "Obviously. I mean, you're all really good. But you are especially, you know. I'm kinda, like--"

"My number one fan?" Arthur couldn't help but ask.

Merlin shrugged. "Something like that, I guess."

Arthur didn't know what it was -- the adrenaline of running into this fan, the booze from earlier, the rush of hearing such praise -- but he couldn't stop himself from taking a step closer to Merlin. He smirked. "That so?"

Merlin nodded. "I think you could go far. I hope you do. You will."

Arthur laughed, short and amused. "What, you can see into the future?"

"Nothing that spectacular," Merlin said, grinning. "I just know it. You _will_."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Merlin nodded enthusiastically. "I'll buy all your records and tell my friends and buy concert tickets and--"

"Follow us to Germany?" Arthur stopped right in front of Merlin.

Merlin laughed nervously. "Um. That too. Already did that. Would do it again."

"I wasn't sure, but now I have to admit, I'm glad you did."

It seemed as though Merlin had been holding his breath, and he let out in one quick stream, "Me too, so much me too, I can't even believe this."

It was Arthur, though, frozen in place as Merlin moved forward, leaned in and pressed his lips against Arthur's. It was hesitant, brief, but soft and warm. Arthur forced himself to stay in place, but as Merlin moved away, Arthur wished he could've chased Merlin's lips with his own.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said, eyes wide and a little fearful. "I know you're -- that you don't--"

"Someone might see," Arthur said, not even denying anything.

Merlin moved away. In the flash of the fluorescent light, his eyes looked gold for a moment, unearthly. Then he was just himself again, a wide cheeky smile breaking across his face. "Won't be a problem."

"How do you know?"

Merlin pushed Arthur back toward a stall, and Arthur didn't stop him, didn't want to stop him, didn't let worry cloud his mind. 

He only focused on chasing Merlin's lips down like he wanted to, like he had from the moment he'd noticed Merlin standing out, beautiful and bright, in the crowd of faceless fans.

**

When Arthur left the bathroom -- puzzling for a moment that it was locked and that was why no one disturbed them, but mostly thankful for it -- a line of guys shoved their way past him to get in. A couple grumbled, a couple shot him hard looks, but a couple gave him approving nods. 

Arthur couldn't stop the smile from breaking across his face.

At least, not until he caught sight of Leon leaning against the wall. Arthur could tell the exact moment Leon saw him; his eyes narrowed in annoyance but he shoved a hand through his shaggy curls in relief.

Lance and Gwaine were there too; Lance also looked relieved to see him, but Gwaine looked -- well, Gwaine looked like he knew _exactly_ what Arthur had been doing, and with whom. Arthur internally groaned. Gwaine was never going to let him forget it, either.

"You can't just disappear, Arthur," Leon said as soon as Arthur approached the small group. "You can't just -- disappear like that!"

"I didn't disappear," Arthur said with a shrug. He nodded at Lance and Gwaine. "I told them where I was going."

"To the toilet. Which seems to be out of order!"

"It's fine."

"I'm sure it _is_ ," Gwaine said, leering.

"And I'm fine," Arthur said, ignoring him. "But we should probably get going."

"Excellent idea, why didn't I think of that?" Leon said dryly. "It's not like we've spent the last ten minutes--"

"Twenty, come on, give the boy a little credit," Gwaine said cheerfully.

Lance glanced at him. "What's going on?"

Gwaine mumbled under his breath, "I'll tell you after."

"Oi!" Arthur protested. "You have nothing to tell! Unless my taking a piss is a grand story." 

Gwaine snorted.

"--Looking for you," Leon said, ignoring all of them to finish his point. He took Arthur by the elbow and started to pull him toward the exit.

Arthur gave a half-hearted tug, trying to get away but not really because he knew this made Leon happier, if he had a physical hold on him. "Oh, come on, Leon. I'm not going to escape or anything."

"Yeah, I've heard that one before."

Lance shoved Arthur's shoulder and gave him a little smile. "May as well listen to him, or he'll be on a rampage." He tilted his head thoughtfully. "Or get Percy on one."

"And we wouldn't want that," Gwaine said. "That cute face all pinched up, those bulging arm muscles tensing--"

"Does _everything_ have to be an innuendo with you?" Arthur asked.

"Yes," Gwaine replied just as Lance said, "There was nothing innuendo about that."

Arthur laughed, feeling extremely light and giddy. Satisfied.

Leon shook his head as he said, "How did I get assigned to you lot?"

"You love us," all three of them replied, and broke out into laughter.

"Like a hole in the head," Leon said, but he was grinning.

**

Arthur groaned as the jumper he had thrown over his face was pulled away. He blinked against the bright light and groaned again, and the bloody idiots he was travelling with laughed at him. 

"Morning, princess!" Gwaine said cheerfully.

"How are you not more hung over?" Arthur asked, his voice sleep-rough. He winced as the van went over a bump on the road.

"Practice. Also, you're drooling on Elyan's leg."

Arthur blinked down at the jean-clad thigh his head was rested on, and then turned his head up to see Elyan looking down at him, amused. Arthur pushed himself up. "Sorry, Elyan."

"No problem," Elyan replied. "Though the price you have to pay is telling me all about what happened last night."

"Yes, Arthur," Gwaine said, "just what _did_ go on in that loo last night?"

"Shut up," Arthur grumbled. He repositioned himself so that he was leaning against the window, the jumper balled up under his head as a pillow. "Nothing happened. Nothing that should be talked about."

"Arthur," Gwaine said, his voice sounding unusually serious. Arthur opened his eyes to look at him, saw that Gwaine looked tense and ready to spout off into one of his rare rants.

Lance stopped him, though, placing a hand on his arm. "Okay, Arthur," Lance said. "We can wait until we're back in London."

Arthur snorted. He closed his eyes and snuggled down into the hoodie even more. "That's the last place it needs to be talked about. What happens in Germany stays in Germany, yeah?"

Elyan's voice was soft. "I don't think that's how it goes."

But Arthur didn't listen to them any more. He knew they'd have his back, wouldn't spill the beans to his father. Nothing that happened last night actually happened, as far as he was concerned. He felt vaguely guilty about it, but he remembered Merlin giving him a kiss goodbye before pushing Arthur towards the locked door, an understanding look that expected nothing more.

That didn't stop Arthur from falling asleep to dream of blue eyes and long fingers and quick, desperate kisses.

**

  


[ ](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part1/5SundayTimesMarch1997.png)

  


**Camelot Records' Legal Troubles**  
 _The Sunday Times  
March, 1997_

_Once again, there is legal trouble for Camelot Records. Unlike the problems facing other companies in the industry, it is not about breach of contract or copyright infringement. Instead, it is regarding an alleged claim from a former employee regarding discrimination in the workplace._

_The Jones vs. Camelot Records case is causing quite the stir. Morgause Jones is a woman who has recently been hired to Camelot Records. She claims it was discovered and gossip circulated that she practiced the Old Religion (aka Druidism). After this happened, she was dismissed from the company._

_The company's lawyers claim it is because she was ill-suited for the position and despite numerous coaching sessions and later disciplinary actions, for which they have documentation, her performance did not improve and this is why she was released from her position and the company._

_Morgause has gone public, saying it is because of Uther Pendragon's personal hatred towards the Old Religion and those who choose to practice it, which is also well documented and going back to the early 80s case Nimueh vs. Camelot Records. Pendragon's lawyers say this is not true and have documentation regarding how Morgause was incompetent to work the position, that it has nothing to do with personal beliefs or discrimination at all._

_A decision will be made within the upcoming weeks._

**

Arthur frowned at the paper that was laid out on the worktop. He was sitting at the island in their expansive kitchen and reading it while he ate some cereal. 

"You're up early," his father said as he came into room. Uther immediately set about making his morning herbal decaffeinated tea.

"Couldn't sleep," Arthur said with a shrug after he swallowed. As exhausted as he was, his body was on a weird schedule where it woke itself up early to get ready for an interview or something, despite the fact they were on well-deserved time off. Arthur would much rather be curled up in his own bed under the covers right now.

"You should be sleeping, Arthur," Uther said. "That's the point of having a few days off after doing some touring. You have a lot of work to get to in the next few weeks, you should be well rested."

"I'll have a bit of a kip later."

"Don't be late for the meeting."

"I won't," Arthur said. He tapped at the paper. "So, I was doing a bit of reading this morning."

Uther glanced down and made a rather unimpressed face. "Don't read any of that rubbish."

"Oh, it was mostly just facts about the case," Arthur said. "Or, well. I didn't realise she was claiming that about--"

Uther shot him a stare and Arthur backed down from what he was going to say.

Arthur remembered Morgause. It wasn't that long ago that she was at Camelot Records, still there while The Knights were first recording. She was calm and collected, and intimidating, but really seemed like she knew what she was doing. She and Morgana had been close, worked well together, and Arthur had been surprised to hear she was let go, though he never questioned his father about it at the time. He knew there had to have been a valid reason.

And then he heard about the case, and he knew that questioning his father then _wouldn't_ go over well at all.

Just as his stare right now was quite clearly indicating.

Arthur knew what his father thought about the Old Religion, that those who practiced it were a bunch of dull, unintelligent country bumpkins who were idiots for believing in _actual_ magic of the world, even if they didn't all claim to be able to perform it. Apparently magic was a rare gift and kept secretive, part of centuries old rules belonging to their belief system. And, well, Arthur had heard a lot worse than that from his father, and honestly Arthur didn't think much of the religion himself -- they were all so _secretive_ about it, and that didn't sit right with him. Plus, _magic_. If there really was that in the world, they'd know about it by now. From what he knew about the religion, it seemed bloody ridiculous, but they were a quiet and peaceful sort who just wanted to be left alone. But, still, Morgause hadn't seemed at all like that, so it came as a surprise to Arthur, especially that she was fighting back.

His father refused to speak about it, though, and rolled his eyes whenever it came up. He had all the confidence that his lawyers would protect the company, so Arthur truly believed everything would be fine.

"It's better she's no longer with us," Uther said as he buttoned up his coat.

His father sounded so sure in that that Arthur thought that, yeah, that must be the truth. Whether or not she was of that religion, she clearly didn't belong with their company.

"Okay, Father," Arthur said. He folded up the paper and pushed it away. 

"I'll see you later, Arthur. Rest."

"Will do," Arthur replied, and went to lie down for a bit. He pushed all thoughts of the case from his mind and went to sleep.

**

The Knights had been called into Camelot Records for a meeting with their manager Agravaine, who just so happened to be Arthur's uncle, to have a debriefing on their brief stint of press in Germany. It went just about as well as one could expect -- the Knights were given some coaching on how answers could have been better (" _Person_ , Arthur, really?") and what in their performances could be improved. These were all things they were going to have to work on before they went on their summer tour. There would be some festivals, some meet and greets, some press, some performances in smaller venues; it would be their first real big push at getting their name out there. All part of the process to becoming something big, they were assured. 

Nor was it the only thing that was part of the process. They were in for an unexpected surprise.

At the end of the meeting, Uther joined them. When he came into the room, he nodded at them. "Hello, boys. Arthur." It was brief, curt, but Arthur understood -- he'd made it explicitly clear that while Arthur was his son and Uther had high, high hopes for him when it came to Camelot Records, he would not receive special treatment, especially in front of others. Arthur wouldn't want it any other way.

Someone else had joined them with Uther, though.

"Gaius!" Arthur jumped out of his seat, and extended out a hand. He'd known Gaius for as long as he could remember; for years he'd been one of the top managers at Camelot Records, and an old family friend. He'd retired from the business a few years earlier, though he'd been keeping busy with other work. "What brings you here?"

"Hello, Arthur," Gaius said warmly, taking his hand and giving it a firm shake. He had some strength to him still.

"Well, this was something that I wanted to discuss with you boys," Uther said in an authoritative tone. Arthur took it to mean he should sit down and be quiet, so he did. Uther took a moment to look around the room at each of the Knights. "I am very pleased with how things are going for this group," Uther said. There was a round of smiles, though none of them said anything and waited for Uther to go on. "You're getting more air time in Europe, on the radio and the videos are showing well on television. Record sales are starting to pick up. We see bigger things coming your way. And for that, Gaius has agreed to become your manager."

"Really?" Arthur said, surprised. Gaius had been the best, in his day, but that was some time ago and maybe he was a little out of touch with what the young people wanted these days. He didn't say that specifically, though; he didn't want to question his father's business decision in front of everyone, and he certainly didn't want to insult Gaius either. Instead, he approached a more tactful way. "But what about Agravaine?"

Agravaine smiled. "Do not worry, Arthur. I knew about this decision."

"Agravaine is an excellent manager," Uther said. "His specialty is picking talent, putting them together. The initial stages. He has done a magnificent job here but knows it's time for something different."

"I wish nothing but the best for you. All of you," Agravaine said.

Uther continued. "He agrees Gaius is exactly what you need."

"Of course," Agravaine said graciously. "I look forward to seeing what he does with this little ragtag group."

"We're not ragtag anymore, thanks to you," Arthur said sincerely. "Thank you, Uncle, for all you've done." The other Knights also chimed in.

Agravaine tilted his head down in appreciation. "It's been a pleasure."

"Excellent," Uther cut in. "Now that this has been announced, we can wrap up this meeting. Agravaine, we have much to discuss. We'll leave you boys here to have time to speak to Gaius. Good day." With that, he took his leave, Agravaine close on his heels.

Arthur and the other Knights gathered around Gaius, though Arthur hung back a little bit so that they could properly introduce themselves to him. They all seemed excited, happily answering Gaius' questions and even giving him some ideas of what they thought should happen, how they could go forward as a group. Gaius graciously listened to them with a small smile tugging at his lips, eyebrows rising at some of the suggestions, but he never once shot any of them down. After a short while, he bid them farewell, saying that he understood they needed to get some rest and relaxation.

Everyone took off home; while they were happy with their success and more than willing to put in the hard work to obtain more, free time was a bit of a luxury nowadays and they weren't about to waste it. Arthur chimed goodbye to them all, but made his way up to the fourth floor. He knew if he didn't stop to say hello to someone in particular, he would never hear the end of it.

The office door was open and Morgana was typing away on her computer. She didn't even notice that Arthur was leaned up against the doorjamb until he cleared his throat. She startled in her seat, nearly knocking over one of her many potted plants, and grabbed the little stress ball off her desk, throwing it in his direction. "Arthur!" she scolded.

He easily caught the ball and tossed it in the air. "Good afternoon, Morgana. Working as hard as ever, I see."

"Yes, well, we don't all get to go traipsing all over Europe, now do we?"

"That's a blatant lie if I ever heard one," he said. "Isn't that what you did the summer after you graduated? I heard some rather sordid tales from Barcelona, I do believe?"

"Lies," Morgana said, though there was a little smile at the corner of her lips. "I hear you boys did well in Germany."

"Miss me, did you?" Arthur asked, smirking at her. She just rolled her eyes.

"Yes, terribly," she said dryly. Arthur knew she did, though. She was a few years older than him, but after the deaths of her parents, she'd been taken in by Uther Pendragon, raised as if his own. They were as good as siblings. Arthur knew that Camelot Records was just as important to her as it was to him.

"Honestly, though, yeah it was awesome." He came in and sat down on the small couch, tossing the stress ball up in the air and catching it.

"Big things coming," she said.

"That's what I hear. We're going to be superstars."

"Don't let it go to your overly inflated head or anything."

"Oi!"

They chatted a bit more -- or, rather, Arthur filled her in on stories from the trip (minus a couple, of course) and she teased him about it. He was just about to leave when he thought of something he could ask her about.

"Morgana," he said, a little more seriously. "You've heard about the court case, yeah?"

He didn't need to say which one. She went still in her seat, and her carefree look turned into something more sullen. "I have," she said, and he was surprised by how harsh she sounded.

"It's -- what she's saying -- that's not true, is it? It can't be."

Morgana raised an eyebrow. "Arthur," she said slowly, "you know Uther's feelings on that religion."

"I know that he's a professional that wouldn't put this company in any sort of danger," Arthur said immediately. 

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it is. Besides, even if she was -- there's no way she was one of _them_ ," Arthur said.

"Do you hear yourself?" Morgana demanded. "You sound just like your father. It's disgusting."

"No it's not, there's nothing wrong with that," Arthur said, feeling the heat rise under his skin. He hated when Morgana tried to challenge Uther, which was all too often and completely unnecessary. "Especially if he's right."

"Right? Discriminating against someone's religion--"

"She was incompetent," Arthur said flatly.

"No she wasn't," Morgana replied heatedly. "She could do that job better than _anyone_ , she did not deserve to lose it."

Arthur stood up. "What you're saying is--"

"What? Treason?" Morgana let out a hollow laugh. "This is the twentieth century, Arthur, and people have their rights. Your father's ideas are positively archaic."

"What, that a bunch of country idiots who believe in _magic_ are suited to work here? Come on, Morgana, do you hear yourself? You can't possibly think that."

"If that's what you think, then you really don't know anything about it," Morgana said, fists curled tightly on the top of her desk. "I think that you should get out of my office _immediately_. And bloody well _grow up_ before you return."

"Whatever," Arthur said, rolling his eyes, getting up to take his leave. "I don't want to talk to you anyway."

"You are such a child," Morgana spat.

Arthur ignored her and went to the lift. On the way down, his stomach rolled and he felt positively ill but in a way he hadn't ever before.

**

That night when Uther came home, way past the dinner hour, Arthur was sitting at the piano in the living room, his fingers idly moving over the keys. Playing the piano usually made him feel better, made all ill-feelings just float away on the sounds. It wasn't helping today but he didn't know what else to do with himself. 

"Arthur," his father greeted as he came in. When Arthur looked over at him, his father pursed his lips into a thin line. "You don't look well."

Arthur shrugged. "I might have a bit of the flu," he lied. He'd been feeling awful all day since he'd left Morgana's office, and something wasn't sitting right in him.

"Arthur, you _need_ to rest. Get some sleep."

Arthur knew an order when he heard one. "All right, Father." He stood up to go, carefully pushing the piano bench in. He let his fingers trail over the keys one second more, then stepped away.

"Wait, Arthur," his father said, getting his attention and causing Arthur to stop in his tracks. "I heard about a little argument that you and Morgana had."

Arthur's gut twisted. "Oh?" He hadn't told anyone, and he highly doubted that Morgana had because her view wouldn't be appreciated by Uther at all. He wondered where Uther heard it, but realised it could've been from any number of sources in the building who wanted to suck up to the boss.

"We can't go around saying things like that, it could be used against us," Uther started. "You must remain a professional."

"Of course," Arthur said immediately. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean -- god, it's not going to be used in the case, is it?"

"Of course not, it has nothing to do with it," Uther said. "But you would do well to be more careful."

"I will. I'm sorry if my actions reflected poorly on the company."

"On the contrary," Uther said, and finally smiled. He clapped his hand on Arthur's shoulder. "I'm more than happy to hear it, but like I said, just be careful."

Arthur forced a smile. "Right. Of course, Father. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Arthur."

Arthur went to bed and barely slept that night, tossing and turning while thoughts of the day rolled through his mind. He went into the office early the next day and tracked down Morgana and apologised for his behavior. She took one look at his tired face and seemed to forgive him, but they didn't talk about it any further.

**

Arthur left the practice studio absolutely _knackered_. They'd been learning new choreography for a couple weeks now, and it was day after day of hour after hour of dancing. And then dancing with the music. And then dancing to the music while also singing. It was a hard regimen they'd been on. Sophia was a bit of a manic choreographer, going from smiles and praise one second to yelling her head off the next, but she got the job done. 

Gwaine, Lancelot and Elyan were already gone, taking off as soon as they were dismissed but Arthur had stayed back to talk to Gaius for a moment. When they were done, he left the building and thought about getting home to have a nice, long hot bath and then going to sleep as soon as he could. He was in the car park when he noticed someone familiar lurking about.

Arthur's mouth dropped when he caught sight of _Merlin_.

"Holy shit," he muttered to himself. Snog one guy in the loo and they become a stalker, even more so than they already were. Shit, he was going to have to call security -- no, wait, no. Maybe not the best of ideas. He might go off about seeing Arthur and the other guys at a gay club, or go to some reporter and have it put in print or something.

Arthur stalked over to Merlin and grabbed Merlin by the elbow. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"I swear, I didn't know you'd be here, I thought you were gone too--"

"Oh, right," Arthur said. "No clue at all. Look, I told you in Germany, I can't--"

"I can't help it," Merlin hissed at him, "we might be running into one another once in a while."

"What the bloody hell does _that_ mean, are you admitting to stalking me?"

"No!" Merlin said, offended. "I'm not, I just happen to know someone who knows you--"

"Oh, bloody likely story--"

"Merlin!" Arthur was cut off by someone call out for Merlin.

"Uncle Gaius!" Merlin said. He gave Arthur a hard look, and Arthur let go of his arm, surprised. _Uncle_? Merlin continued cheerily, "Hope you had a good day at work."

"Oh, I did, I did, my dear boy." Gaius paused and looked at Arthur. "Arthur, I see you've met my nephew, Merlin."

"I -- was just getting introduced, yes."

"He recognised me from Germany," Merlin said easily. It was Arthur's turn to shoot him a hard look, but Merlin just smiled happily at Gaius. "He recognised me from the show!"

"Yes, yes, I had a chuckle at that," Gaius said to Arthur. "I knew Merlin was going to Germany for a trip with his friend though I didn't know the reason why. He was quite surprised when he told me he'd spoken to you and then I said I was going to be coming back to work for Camelot Records. Quite the coincidence."

"Yes, quite," Arthur said, trying to cover his surprise.

"I really didn't know," Merlin said seriously. "I never expected to meet you, like, ever."

"And now you have twice," Arthur said. The initial panic he had been feeling was subsiding now, replaced by something a little warmer with Merlin's worried looked. "Do you live in London?"

"Oh, no. Not really? I mean, I'm from Ealdor," Merlin said.

"And you're here for a visit?"

"Not exactly," Merlin said.

"He'll be staying with me for a while," Gaius said. "For the summer, and then while he goes to college. It has a marvelous curriculum for writing, and Merlin got in on a scholarship. Fantastic opportunity." He patted Merlin's back proudly.

"I see," Arthur said, trying desperately to ignore the swooping feeling in his stomach. Merlin was going to be around, here in London and was close to someone Arthur worked with and this was _not_ what he expected at all when he first saw Merlin standing there. "Well, welcome to London. Guess we might be seeing a bit of each other, then."

"Maybe," Merlin said, a little uncertainly, like maybe he wanted to but wasn't sure what Arthur would think about that. Arthur didn't know what he thought about that at all.

"I'm sure you will," Gaius said. "Arthur, please excuse us, we do have a meeting with the school we have to attend."

"Of course," Arthur said. "See you both at the weekend."

"The weekend?" Merlin asked.

"Oh, yes, I invited the boys over for a barbeque dinner," Gaius said happily. "They've been working so hard, I thought it would be nice."

Merlin was turning a bright red, right to the tips of ears. "Uh, right. Nice," he echoed.

"Good, good, come along then, Merlin," Gaius said.

"Right. See you then, Arthur," Merlin said, offering up a smile. He turned and followed Gaius out of car park, sparing a glance over his shoulder at Arthur.

Arthur watched them go, and knew he was so very terribly fucked.

**

"How do you do it?" Arthur asked Gwaine. 

Gwaine was sitting in a lawn chair in Gaius' garden, and Arthur was sitting cross-legged on the ground next to him. They both had a bottle of beer in hand; Gwaine was on his third, but Arthur was still picking at the label of his first. He was usually more outgoing, tried to mingle and talk to everyone, but he was feeling a little bit subdued that day. He knew it was attributed to a certain presence -- to Merlin -- who Arthur had been determinedly ignoring all afternoon.

Gwaine took a swig of his beer and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He had a bit of stubble grown in now, like he always did when they were out of the eye of photographers and TV cameras. "Do what?" he asked.

Arthur looked across the garden. Lance was standing near the barbeque talking with Morgana, Elyan and Elyan's sister, Gwen. Arthur and Morgana had known Gwen for a long time, but the other Knights hadn't met her yet. She'd been off to school the past year at a conservatory -- she played violin or something else in an orchestra, Arthur couldn't remember -- but was home for a visit, and Elyan brought her along.

Lance had been giving Gwen shy smiles and edging around conversations that involved her until she had drawn him into one and there was, apparently, no end to what they could talk about now. Lance was clearly smitten with her; it was obviously mutual.

"It doesn't bother you?" Arthur continued looking at the little group, and Gwaine looked over as well.

"What? I don't know what you're going on about, mate. If you have something to ask, just ask it."

Arthur shook his head. "Come on, you know what I'm talking about. Lance and -- aren't you and he -- why is he being so obvious?"

Gwaine snorted. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Arthur grunted in frustration. "Yes, you do. You just want -- forget it."

"That's your problem, Pendragon. This subject, you keep trying to push it under the mat, to forget it. Ain't going to happen so just come out with it."

"Fine," Arthur said. He looked directly at Gwaine. "Aren't you and Lance -- well --"

"Shagging?" Gwaine supplied when Arthur hesitated.

"No. I mean, yes, but aren't you ... together?"

"Only in the shagging sense of the word." Gwaine looked back across the garden. "And I have a feeling that is coming to an end."

"And doesn't that bother you?"

"No. We have an understanding. We know where we stand with each other. Lance, he was curious but he's more of a commitment kind of guy anyway, and I'm not."

"That's bollocks."

Gwaine looked amused. "Is that so?"

"Yep," Arthur said. "You'd do anything for the four of us. Six, if you count Leon and Percy, which I know you do."

"That's different. We're mates. That's brotherhood. In matters of the heart… I'm shit at that, and no one wants to be stuck with a bugger like me."

"Love 'em and leave 'em," Arthur said flatly.

"Shag 'em and leave 'em, yeah."

"I can't be like that," Arthur said. His eyes found Merlin, who had joined Lance and the others. Earlier in the week, the others had all laughed their arses off when Arthur had told them Merlin was Gaius' nephew and he'd be around a bit more now, and they took the piss out of him for days, but they were all being very friendly with Merlin today. It really didn't seem that hard to be able to, though Arthur had yet to make an effort.

"No," Gwaine said quietly. "It's not for everyone. Maybe I'm pushing you to try to have a good time, but I don't think you're meant for it. Not like me."

Arthur shook his head. "I don't think I am."

Gwaine pushed himself up from the chair. "Then you have some decisions to make, then, don't you?"

Arthur didn't bother answering. They both knew he did.

**

Arthur was carrying a leftover plate of food into the kitchen when he was startled to find that Merlin and Lance were emerging from a door together. Merlin was red-faced and even Lance didn't have his usual calm. 

"Um," Arthur said, blinking at them, and tried to ignore the weird twist that clenched at his insides at seeing the scene before him.

"The basement," Merlin said, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. "Where I'm staying. I asked Lance to help move some furniture."

"Oh," Arthur said. "That's--"

"Percy had already left," Merlin said, "or I would've grabbed him and his big muscles to do it. Next able bodied male did the trick."

"Thanks?" Lance said with a bashful smile.

Merlin beamed. "No, thank _you_."

Arthur rolled his eyes at them. "Well, maybe you able bodied males can help clean up so Gaius doesn't have it all to himself?"

Merlin was instantly on the movie. "Oh, right, of course." He slipped out the door into the back garden.

Arthur turned his stare on Lance, who held up his hands defensively. "Nothing happened!" Lance said immediately.

"I didn't say anything."

"But you wanted to."

"No I didn't!"

"Arthur, it's okay to like him."

"No, it's not," Arthur said. Lance gave him a pitying look and Arthur _hated_ that. "I mean, it's not like that."

"Then you should let him know."

"Why, what did he say?" Arthur asked immediately.

Lance chuckled lowly. "Nothing! No, really, nothing," he repeated when Arthur gave him a skeptical look. "But, you should be fair to him, and yourself. If that's what you want."

"Yes," Arthur said, even though inside he could feel his mind yelling _no!_ "That's the way it is."

"Okay, Arthur," Lance said softly, and went outside to help tidy up too. Arthur sighed and made his way to the kitchen.

**

  


**Camelot Records' Win**  
 _The Sunday Times  
May, 1997_

_Camelot Records' star continues to shine. Yes, while the case against discrimination in the workplace was an unsightly blemish on the company during recent months, Camelot Records has come out on top. The case was dismissed, so whether or not the allegations are true, they did not hold up in a court of law._

_A counter suit was filed against Morgause Jones on the basis of slander, though it is not expected to go to court for some weeks yet._

_For personal editorials to this news, please see page 45._

 

**

Arthur stared at the front of yesterday's newspaper. He was sitting on the sofa in Gaius' living room but it had been sitting on the coffee table. Nearly everyone had gone home. The only people left were Morgana and Arthur, and of course Gaius and Merlin. Morgana had swept Gaius away to the office to talk about work a little bit, and Arthur found himself alone with Merlin for the first time that day.

"Hey," Merlin said, plopping down next to Arthur on the sofa. He looked down and saw the paper. Quietly he said, "Oh."

"Yeah," Arthur said. He glanced askance at Merlin, who was sitting rather still considering what a twitchy guy he seemed. "What do you know of it?"

"Just what I've seen in the papers," Merlin said quickly.

"Gaius hasn't said anything?" Arthur knew Gaius was loyal, but he also knew that sometimes family made the rules bend.

Merlin was quiet for a moment, then he shrugged. "Nothing more than what's in the papers."

For a second, Arthur wondered if Merlin was telling the truth. But he didn't saw no reason for Merlin to lie in this case -- besides, there wasn't anything more to lie about.

Arthur was considering calling him out on it, though, when Merlin said, "What do you think about it?"

"About what?"

"The case. The allegations."

Arthur's jaw set in a tense line. After his run-in with Morgana, this wasn't something he wanted to talk about with anybody, let alone some boy he barely knew yet. "I'm glad that Camelot Records won."

Merlin opened his mouth and then snapped it shut, and he looked angry for a moment, like he was going to argue. Arthur rubbed his temples, willing the sudden headache to go away, and when he glanced back over to Merlin, he looked a little resigned.

"So," Merlin said after a couple awkward moments, "everyone in the group is really nice."

"But you knew that," Arthur said. He looked at Merlin, smirking. "You are, after all, our number one fan."

Merlin turned pink. "Shut up. God, but you are an arse."

"I thought you just said everyone was really nice."

"Yeah, well, I stand corrected. Thanks for that."

"Oh, shove off," Arthur said. He lightly punched Merlin in the shoulder. Merlin gave him a wounded look, but by the way he was trying not to smile, he was obviously just playing about it.

There was a moment of silence, more comfortable now, but Arthur filled it as best he could. "I've known Gaius a long time. He's a good man."

"Yeah, he is."

"You never mentioned you knew him. When we were in Germany."

"Well, to be fair, our conversation didn't exactly go that way," Merlin said. "I mean, I knew he knew your family, but I never thought..." Merlin trailed off, shrugging. "I didn't see him that often, he always came to visit us, and coming to London had been unexpected. I never actually _thought_ I'd meet you or anything."

"You met me without him," Arthur pointed out. He did all he could to keep the heat from rising to his own cheeks when he remembered the snog in the toilets. He had thought about it, more than once, since that night -- especially at night -- and especially since seeing Merlin again -- but he tried desperately to keep it at bay. It would do no good to dwell on it.

"I did," Merlin said. He paused for a moment, then let out in a big rush, "I won't tell, I swear. It'll just be between us, and I think you're really talented and wonderful and I don't want anything to stop that. Plus, it's important to Gaius, this job, and I wouldn't make it more difficult for him. And I hate the world for being the way it is that you can't be yourself, you have no fucking idea how much I hate that, but I know that--"

"Does he know about you?" Arthur asked.

Merlin blinked. "About me? What about me?"

"That you -- I mean, I take it that you're--"

"Oh, that. That I like guys?" Merlin took a deep breath. "That I'm gay." It came out a bit shaky, like he was still gaining the confidence to be able to say it out loud.

Arthur tried desperately not to wince. "Yes," he replied, nodding slowly. "That."

Merlin nodded. "He does. Him, my mum, my friend Freya, the girl from the show? And, well, I guess The Knights too," he said, turning a bit pink in the cheeks. "I mean, I don't advertise it, but ... I'm not going to lie about who I am, you know? At least not about that."

"But about other things?"

Merlin looked down. "We all have secrets."

"Right."

"I mean. I know that sometimes you can't tell people who you really are -- I get that too, I do--"

"But you told," Arthur said. "About this."

Merlin shrugged. "Yes, well."

"I can't," Arthur said. He stood up. "It's just that ... I have to think of the group, and the company, and my father's wishes--"

"He knows?" Merlin sounded surprised at that. Arthur couldn't blame him for it.

"Well. I haven't told him in so many words." Arthur flashed back to the talks that his father had given them -- the group as a whole -- about what was needed for this band to succeed. The private talks the two of them had, how insistent Arthur was that he wanted this to work out, that he'd do what ever it'd take, and the gleam in Uther's eye when he heard Arthur's promises. Arthur sighed. "So, you and I, we can't--"

"Friends," Merlin put in quickly. "I mean, we can be that, right? Or at least. You don't hate me, or whatever. I won't push it."

Arthur looked down at Merlin's face. He was looking hopeful, maybe a little desperate, as if the thought of Arthur walking out that door could crush him.

"Friends," Arthur said with a curt nod. His stomach twisted at the smile that spread across Merlin's face. "We could do that."

"Brilliant," Merlin breathed out. "Smashing."

Arthur rolled his eyes, but he grinned. "You're such a fanboy."

"Shut it," Merlin said, kicking out a foot half-heartedly, not even hitting Arthur. "You should be so lucky to have someone like me in your corner."

"Guess we'll see about that."

Merlin grinned. "Guess we will."


	2. Step Two - There's So Much We Can Do

  


[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part2/2banded.png)[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part2/3bandedtrack.png)

**

_The Knights: Banded_  
Track list:

1\. Blue in the Heart // 2. My Queen // 3. Dreams and Fears (I'll Save You)  
4\. True Love's Rescue // 5. Lady In Disguise // 6. Trolling  
7\. Protect // 8. Sins // 9. Lakeside Lovely  
10\. Sweet Dreams (remix) // 11. Crystal Clear // 12. Where Loyalties Are  
13 - Truths and Freedoms

**

[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part2/4PeopleMagazineMarch1999.png)

**The Knights Rule The World**  
 _People Magazine  
March, 1999_

_The UK boy band The Knights released their second album entitled "The Knights: Banded" earlier this year. The first single, _Blue in the Heart_ , was released three weeks before the complete album was. It jumped to top of the charts not only in the UK but in America and various countries throughout the world. The first week that _Banded_ was released, it smashed previous records by selling over 2 million copies worldwide._

__Banded_ has been better received and gained more critical acclaim than The Knights first self-titled debut album over two years ago, and is known on a more international level._

_The Knights -- Arthur Pendragon (20), Elyan Smith (22), Lance du Lac (25), and Gwaine Orkney (27) -- have been going nonstop since the release of the album. They continue to be one of the hardest working acts in the music industry, doing various press events and appearances, and they have just finished the first leg of their international tour, making their way through the familiar territory of Europe._

_Next stop? A sold-out tour across North America. And the fans on this side of the pond can not wait._

**

Times Square, New York City. 

The city centre was shut down, save for the elaborate stage and the metal fence barriers that kept the thousands of fans from rushing it. But they still swayed and danced and cheered, an ocean of people made of bright colours and loud sounds. The buildings were tall around them. It was the middle of the day but there were still blazing bright lights, the displayed Broadway musical signs and movie adverts and everything else, just as Arthur had always imagined. It was a brilliant spring day, not too chilly and not overly hot but warm and perfect.

Arthur's body moved to the music that backed up the group, a choreography that had been practiced and performed so many times in the past few months all over Europe that he could do it in his sleep. He sang into the headset, the little microphone held out in front of his mouth, and he could hear his own voice amplified and bouncing off the looming buildings, mingling perfectly with the rest of the group, a harmony blanketing over the crowd that was screaming and waving their arms all around the stage, crammed into the city block.

Out of the corners of his eyes, and with each swivel and turn, he could see Gwaine, Lance, and Elyan by his sides, all synchronized and easy movements that mimicked each other. He knew that Leon and Percy each had a post by the stage stairs, and that Gaius was backstage somewhere, looking on and making mental notes. Off to the side of the stage, he could see the windows leading back into the TRL studio.

This was how Arthur knew, really _knew_ and felt it to his bones, that he'd made it. _They_ had made it.

The Knights shut down Times Square so that thousands could come and see them sing and dance.

Arthur couldn't stop smiling.

**

"It was bloody _brilliant_ ," Arthur exclaimed into the phone. "Just -- I can't even believe that was my day. Performing in America! In _Times Square_ , of all the places, my god." His voice was light and joyful, and somewhat awed. His life, seriously. 

Arthur was flopped back on the hotel bed, the bedclothes bunching under him as he squirmed around. Though he'd changed out of his stage clothes, he hadn't the time to shower yet, so his jeans and t-shirt chafed against dried sweat. He felt gross, knew he stank of stage performance, and had precious little time before he'd be rounded up by Leon or Percy to move onto the next press junket. He knew he should be getting ready but he couldn't stop himself from making one very, very important call first.

"That's amazing, Arthur," Merlin said to him. His voice was sleep-rough and a little drowsy, but he sounded genuinely happy, even though Arthur had totally forgotten about time-zones in his urgent need to call.

"It's crazy to think, isn't it?" Arthur couldn't stop his boasting, just couldn't. "That this little group from the UK is travelling the world and _America_."

"Hey, Arthur," Merlin cut in.

"Yeah?" Arthur flipped over and scrunched a pillow under his head. He stared at a truly awful painting on the wall while he waited for Merlin to speak. The Knights may have been upgraded and he even got to have his own room now, but apparently that didn't do anything for taste.

"I hear you guys are travelling America," Merlin said, deadpanned. "That true?"

"Oh, leave it out," Arthur said. Merlin laughed into his ear and Arthur couldn't help but roll his eyes. "I'm just excited, all right?"

"Understandably so," Merlin said, and didn't sound annoyed at all that Arthur couldn't stop going on about the Banded tour, even though he'd listened to it for days before they'd left. "So when are you back again?"

Arthur picked at an invisible thread on the bed sheet. "We're on a North American tour for eight weeks." New York had only been the kick-off; in two days time, they'd all be back on the coach and meandering their way through a new continent. "I'm sure we'll be home for a bit before we take off again."

Merlin was quiet for a moment, then said, "You already have other tours planned? Didn't you just finish a European one?"

"Well, yeah, but who knows what Gaius has up his sleeve."

"Where else could you possibly go?"

"South America. Asia. Oh, Australia! That would be brilliant, don't you think? They drive on the correct side of the road there, you know."

"Well then you have to go," Merlin said easily. "How could you not?"

" _Exactly_ ," Arthur exclaimed happily.

There's a moment of comfortable silence when neither of them said anything, and Arthur just listened to Merlin's breath down the phone line. It was familiar, and despite all the excitement of the new tour, it felt good to have that.

Merlin finally said, "I wish I could be there."

"Me too," Arthur replied, surprising himself with just how earnest that sounded. It was true, of course, but he didn't think he'd sound quite like that. He coughed, clearing his throat, then teased, "But I know you'd much rather be sitting around in your pajamas all day, you lazy git."

"Oi!" Merlin protested. "I'm a writer, there's no need to get all dressed up to sit at my desk and plunk away at the keyboard." Merlin was only eighteen, but finished up his courses and instead of going on to uni right away he was working on finishing writing a book he'd started a couple of years before. His decision came with support and encouragement from Gaius and his mother; he had a part time job for spending cash, but living in Gaius' basement helped out a lot. 

"You need to get one of those laptop things," Arthur said. "Then at least you could take it down to the coffee shop."

"I don't have 4000 pounds to spare, thanks, we're not all superstars," Merlin said dryly. He added lightly, "Besides, I'd probably just go down in my jogging bottoms and hoodie anyway."

Arthur laughed. "You probably would. You'd think knowing me for a couple years would give you some sense of style, but no, you have to look like some tramp all the time."

"Whatever, you like me this way."

Arthur swallowed hard and pushed aside the thoughts that were creeping on the edges of his mind. Instead he said, "I'm pretty sure when you become a nation wide best-selling author and do book tours and talk shows, you'll be begging for fashion advice."

Merlin laughed. "I think not. I saw The Knights' last photoshoot. Is it just me or were you wearing snakeskin printed leather trousers that were shiny?"

"We don't get to pick for photoshoots--"

"Oh, oh!" Merlin said, sounding excited and like he was finally waking up. "There was the one where you all wore matching _overalls_ \--"

"Shut up!"

"--like overgrown _toddlers_ and that is just _wrong_ in so many ways."

" _Shut up_!"

"I'm actually waiting for the day when they _finally_ dress you all up like _actual_ knights, like, with chainmail and swords and such. How has this not happened once in over two years? Seriously, you'd think someone would've been all over that at some point."

Arthur didn't say anything but scrubbed a hand over his face.

Merlin breathed out, "Holy _shit_." He was quiet, sounded reverent.

Arthur still didn't say anything, just huffed down the phone line.

"Holy shit!" Merlin crowed, a lot more happily. "That's the cover of _Rolling Stone_ , isn't it? The one you've been so quiet and hush-hush about and oh my _god_ you're going to be dressed as a knight. An actual real knight."

Arthur said calmly, "I hate you."

"This is brilliant," Merlin said matter-of-factly. "I'm going to have material to tease you about for years. _Years_."

"I still hate you."

"No you don't," Merlin told him. Which, well, no Arthur didn't but that wasn't the point. Merlin continued happily, "This is like Christmas. Christmas in July. Even though it's April."

"You're ridiculous," Arthur said flatly. "And I should let you go so you can sleep."

"Only if you promise me you're not mad and don't hate me."

"Afraid I can't do that."

"Arrrrrthur," Merlin said, whining. "If you say goodbye and hang-up and leave me hanging like this, and go off on your little tour in which I probably won't get to speak to you for days and days and days, how do you think I'm going to feel? Do you really want to leave me hanging like this? _Really_?"

"Yes," Arthur said immediately. "It's what you deserve for calling my band--"

" _Your_ band, oh ho ho! What do the others think of this?"

Arthur talked over him. "-- a bunch of toddlers, then yes, I will leave you hanging."

"I said you looked like toddlers, not that you actually were."

"You mocked us," Arthur said. "Your point is moot."

"Moot! Did you read ahead on the word-of-the-day desk calendar you got me for Christmas? Because I'm pretty sure that doesn't come up until August."

"Goodbye, Merlin," Arthur said flatly.

"Wait, wait, Arthur!" Merlin called out urgently, sounding like he was really worried that Arthur was going to hang up the phone. Arthur hadn't planned on it yet, he was just letting Merlin squirm.

"Yeah?"

There was a pause for a moment, hanging heavy, like something had shifted. But Merlin only said softly, "I'm really happy you had a good day. I'm glad you called."

Arthur swallowed and nodded, then remembered Merlin couldn't see him. "Thanks. I'll talk to you as soon as I can, okay?"

"Okay. Good luck for the tour."

"Thanks. Bye, Merlin."

"Bye."

There was a click on the line and Arthur knew that Merlin was gone. Arthur set the headset on to the receiver and rolled over onto his back. He stared up at the ceiling, fingers drumming against his stomach, and he sighed.

A moment later there was a knock on the door. "Shit!" he muttered to himself then called out louder, "Yeah?"

It was Leon. "Ten minutes, Arthur!"

"Okay!" Arthur scrambled off the bed and headed to the bathroom to shower. He had a busy tour coming up and knew he needed to focus on that.

  
[ ](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part2/5ROLLINGSTONECOVER.png)   


**

Arthur woke with a start when there was a loud bang nearby. He blinked, getting his bearings, and tried to shake the sleepiness from his consciousness. 

There was another bang, and Arthur looked around. Oh, right. He was in his bunk on the bus.

"Gwaine!" Arthur groaned, letting his head drop back to the pillow. Gwaine had the bunk right over his head, because Arthur had lost the wager to Elyan and Lance and that just wasn't bloody fair. Arthur _always_ won, and so how he lost that day he wasn't sure, though he was rather convinced there was some cheating going on.

There was another thump.

"Gwaine, so help me god, if you're having a wank up there!" Arthur yelled, and banged his fist on the wood paneling above his head.

There was a laugh from across the aisle, and Arthur yanked open the curtain that had been drawn across his bunk. Elyan was sitting in his own bunk, propped up against the wall with a book in his hand. Elyan smirked at him.

"Don't you think," Elyan said, "that Gwaine has the manners to not masturbate in his bunk where anyone could fucking hear?"

For some reason, Elyan had the reputation of being the polite one, and completely attainable, but Arthur knew different. Elyan had the mouth of a sailor, was engaged to his long-term girlfriend Mary, and was a terribly good actor in front of the public.

"No," Arthur grumbled. "I _know_ he doesn't."

Elyan picked up the Discman that was sitting on his bunk next to him. "Invest in one of these, Arthur."

"I had one," Arthur said, pouting. "It got left behind in -- shit, I don't know where. Nebraska? That's a place we've been, right?"

They'd been on their North American tour for a couple of weeks now, and it had been one big blur of roads and venues and fans and shows. Arthur wasn't sure he'd be able to tell anyone he'd actually _seen_ America, just that he'd been there for a spell.

"Get another one," Elyan advised.

"Right," Arthur mumbled, pushing himself out of the bunk. His bare feet hit linoleum floor and he put his hand on the edge of Lance's bunk, right above Elyan's, to keep from falling over if the bus took too sudden a swerve. "I'll get right on that the next time we have a spare moment. Which is, what, three weeks from now? Maybe? I'm sure Gwaine'll keep his hands off his pecker till then."

"No fucking complaining, Arthur," Elyan said mildly. "We're on tour. We want this."

Arthur sighed. "I know." He was just so bloody tired -- but they all were, so there really wasn't any point in whining about it.

The noise happened again and Arthur growled under his breath. He pushed open the curtain to Gwaine's bunk -- to find that he wasn't there.

"The hell?" Arthur muttered. "What's making that noise?"

Elyan shrugged. "Something with the bus, maybe?"

"Oh, that's bloody fantastic." Arthur's voice was dripping with sarcasm; the last thing they needed was a broken down bus.

"Hopefully it makes it to the next venue," Elyan said, and then he turned back to his book. "And Gwaine's in the lounge with his guitar."

"Yeah," Arthur said. He made his way out of the section of the bus with the bunks towards the back, where there was a little kitchenette and a lounge.

Lance and Gwaine were sat on opposite ends of the couch watching the little crap telly that was hooked up. There was a VCR and a pile of tapes off to the side, and they'd obviously put a film on. Gwaine's guitar was leaning up against the sofa not being played, and Lance's set of bongos and the shaker, the closest he could have to bringing a drum kit with them on the bus, was sitting off to the side abandoned too.

"What're you watching?"

" _Lock, Stock, And Two Smoking Barrels_ ," Gwaine said, not taking his eyes off the television.

"Again?" Arthur asked, making a face, but only because they'd watched it half a dozen times already.

"Yep," Gwaine said.

"We're watching _Romeo and Juliet_ next," Lance said.

Both Gwaine and Arthur made a face this time. Lance shook his head. "What? It kicks arse."

"It's just -- all the guns."

"It's an excellent adaptation," Lance said.

"You and your bleeding heart." Gwaine rolled his eyes. "There's something to be said about swords, you know. I think I'd like that better."

Lance looked at him, dismayed. "You're watching a film with guns in the title!"

"This is different," Gwaine said. "They're supposed to be there."

Arthur decided to leave them to their film spat, if it was going to turn into one. "Tea on?" Arthur asked.

Lance shook his head. "Not recently."

Arthur went to the little kitchenette and put on the kettle to boil some water, and dug around in the cupboard for a teabag. After it was ready, he returned to flop down on the sofa. Thankfully, they were watching the film and no longer arguing about it.

"Hey, Gwaine?" Arthur said.

"Hmm?" Gwaine asked absently.

"I don't have my Discman any more so no wanking in the bunks."

Both Lance and Gwaine broke into laughter. Gwaine threw his arm around Arthur's shoulders, and Arthur had to hold out his tea so it wouldn't spill. "Oi!"

"Oh, Arthur," Gwaine said affectionately. "You're a riot."

"I'm not kidding!"

Gwaine just tugged on him to pull him back into a half-hug, so Arthur threw his head back and hoped he'd get him on the shoulder. He just succeeded in brushing his hair against Gwaine's face.

"Hey! Watch out there," Gwaine grumbled, pushing Arthur away. "You've got enough gel in those little spikes to poke a man's eye out."

"Defense mechanism," Arthur said offhand. Gwaine rolled his eyes. "And, hey, we should watch The Wedding Singer."

Gwaine and Lance groaned and shoved at Arthur's shoulders.

"What?"

Elyan called from the bunks, "If we have to hear _Do You Really Want To Hurt Me_ one more time I'll stab someone in the heart with one of Gwaine's swords!"

"Gwaine doesn't actually have swords!" Arthur yelled back.

"I'll buy him one to borrow to stab someone in the heart!"

"He wouldn't," Arthur grumbled. Then he yelled out, "I feel similar having to hear Gwaine pretending to be quiet while he jerks off, you know!"

For a moment, there was silence, then Elyan yelled, "Arthur, no more Wedding Singer. Gwaine, no more jerking off in the bunks!"

Arthur pumped a fist in the air while Gwaine yelled out, "No fucking deal!"

Arthur crooned perfectly, "Baby, do you really waannaaaaa hurt me?"

Gwaine blinked, and then yelled, " _Fine_! But it's a rule for everyone!"

"The rest of us already go by that rule because we have _manners_ ," Arthur pointed out.

"I hate you all," Gwaine said.

"Don't worry about it," Lance said quietly. "Hotel night tomorrow."

"You know the rule!" Elyan yelled out, and Lance winced. "No talking about hotel nights and phone calls or _phone sex_."

Gwaine smirked. "It's okay, Lance, I don't mind hearing about your phone sex with Gwen--"

"I will fucking stab _you_ , Orkney!" Elyan yelled.

"Well, for my hotel night, I'm thinking I don't have to worry about phones," Gwaine said.

Out of the blue, Percy's voice rang through the bus, deep and loud from the front where he was sitting with the bus driver. "No taking fans back to the hotel!"

Gwaine grumbled to himself about there being too many rules on this tour, and Arthur fell to the floor, after Lance saved his cup of tea, from laughing so hard.

**

  
[ ](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part2/6TheGuardianReviewApril1999.png)   


  


**Music of Fairytales**  
 _The Guardian Review  
April, 1999_

Princesses are the latest girl group to come out of the UK. They are produced by Gawant Records, founded by Godwyn Gawant. Interesting to note that -- following along in the lines of the Pendragons over at Camelot Records -- there is a parent-child match up with the Princesses as well. Elena Gawant, daughter of Godwyn, is one of the three members of the group. She may need a little extra work at times, but she clearly has talent and works hard to be there. The other two members of the group are Vivian Olaf and Mithian Nemeth, who also come from long musical lines.

Do not let their looks -- fair, beautiful, and innocent -- nor the group name fool you; behind each of these Princesses, there is a strong woman who fights hard. Their songs, while fluffy pop music, are tales of old with a new spin on them. Enchantments, loves, dragons, and being your own woman and making your own choices. 

As their increasing album sales show, these young women are rulers. 

They are currently on their first major tour as the opening act for The Knights on the American leg of their tour.

**

"Just keep smiling," Arthur said, hand squeezing Elena's tighter when she nearly stumbled over a crack in the pavement. 

"All right," she answered under her breath. She squeezed his hand back and righted herself, and kept her pace beside him.

The Knights were on a couple of days break, living it up in California; this was a place where paparazzi ran nearly as rapid as they did in London, if not more so. And Arthur Pendragon, having a lunch date on a patio with his new girlfriend, Elena of the girl group _Princesses_ , was apparently big enough news that they were being followed back to the hotel.

To be honest, it made Arthur feel a bit grumpy about it all. Neither he nor Elena had even been able to pick the place where they wanted to go to lunch -- that had all been arranged by one of their managers. Arthur had a feeling his father had extended a hand across the ocean to contribute to it, and possibly her father as well.

Once they were inside the hotel where both The Knights and Princesses were staying, safe behind the tinted glass lobby windows, Arthur dropped Elena's hand so that he could wipe his own over his brow. "This is bloody _insane_ ," he said, and pressed a button for the lift. It appeared right away.

"I know," Elena agreed. She shifted awkwardly on her feet once they were in -- she was a nice girl, wonderful singing voice, but there was a reason why the Princesses weren't really known for their dancing but their elaborate costumes and singing voices. "I've been used to the public eye for a while," she said, and he nodded in agreement. She was a child of the industry as much as he was. "But I really never thought going for lunch would cause such a commotion."

"Give it a day to hit the newspapers, and a week for the newest editions of the entertainment mags," Arthur said. "It'll be nuts then."

"Goodness," she breathed.

He grinned cockily at her. "Stick with me, baby, and you'll be everywhere."

Elena rolled her eyes and gave him a rather hearty punch to the arm. "No offense, but I think the Princesses are doing just fine that I don't need you, thank you very much."

It was true -- girl power might be all the rage, but there was something about the fairytale aspect of this new group that could not be denied. Little girls the world over were going crazy for it.

"True enough," Arthur said, nodding. "So what are you doing with a bloke like me, then?"

Elena pursed her lips together, and Arthur looked at his shoes uncomfortably. He had only meant it for a joke, but it was just enough to throw them off. They both knew why they were there -- their fathers were the power players of the pop industry back in London, both wanting to take over the world. A joining of the two could only be helpful, right?

"I'm sorry," Arthur said, trying to break the silence. "I didn't mean anything by that."

"It's okay," Elena said with a shrug. "I get it."

"If it's any consolation," Arthur said as they stepped off the lift at Arthur's floor, "I do have fun spending time with you."

Elena blinked at him, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth and Arthur felt like knocking his head against the wall. That probably was not the most flattering thing he could've said.

"I mean -- not that any of this should be like a consolation -- and you're nice -- and fairly pretty -- I mean really pretty!" Arthur sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Shit, I'm so crap at this."

He pulled a rose from a wall sconce and handed it to her, tried his best for a sincere smile. "My apologies, Elena."

Elena smiled, slow but surely, as if she couldn't help it. She took the rose from him. "No need to apologise. I understand that this is …" She trailed off, but they both knew that any number of words could go there. _Arranged_. _Out of our hands_. _Publicity_. But she smiled at him again, and it didn't seem forced. "I like spending time with you too."

"I'm glad." He found he felt entirely sincere with that. This would go along much more smoothly if they were friendly about it. He knew well enough that their fathers were hoping that their 'dating' would turn into more, but there hadn't been any real pressure there. Not yet, anyway.

He glanced at his wristwatch and grimaced. "We should probably get back to our rooms and start getting ready." The Knights and the Princesses were making a public appearance together that night at a children's charity show.

Elena sighed. "Yes, yes, time to go get primped and pampered." She reached out to touch the button to get the lift back so she could go to her own floor.

"I'll see you later," Arthur said. He gave her a quick peck to the cheek, and went to step away.

"Arthur," she said, hesitantly. He paused and turned back to her. She bit her lip again, as if thinking whether or not to speak. Then she sighed and plunged forward. "Your feelings for me ... they're entirely ..."

"Friendly," Arthur filled in. "There is no lie there, I promise."

"Is it ... is it because ..." She trailed off for one moment and then frowned. But she seemed to find some words, even if they were not her original ones. "Is there someone else?"

Arthur paused for a moment. He probably shouldn't say anything, but he didn't want to lie, not to her even if he did _with_ her. The whole thing was unfair as it was, he didn't want to add to it any more.

"No," he said softly. "Not someone I can be with, anyway."

"I'm sorry," she said, and he was shaking his head before she could go on.

"Nothing you can do about it."

"I'm sure I'm not helping."

"You're being pretty understanding," he offered, "that my feelings, they're just not going to go beyond what they are."

"Friendly," she said. He nodded, and she smiled. "Honesty. I can deal with that."

He snorted. "What's honest about this?"

"I meant, with you," Elena said. The lift dinged and the door opened. "We'll deal with the rest as best we can."

He smiled at her, because he was grateful, but he knew that neither of them really had a choice.

**

  


[ ](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part2/7SmashHitsJune1999.png)

  


  


**UKs New Golden Couple**  
 _Smash Hits  
June, 1999_

_Fangirls across the nation are trying to mend their broken hearts at the breaking news that Arthur Pendragon is no longer single._

_Golden doesn't just refer to the loveliness of their matching hair, but their new status in the world of British pop groups. Arthur Pendragon (20) of the boy band The Knights and Elena Gawant (19) of the girl group Princesses look like a match made in fairy tale heaven. The two musical acts have been on tour with each other for a couple of weeks now, and it seems as though the leaders of the groups have taken a fancy to each other. Pendragon and Gawant have been photographed together a number of times holding hands and going on dates as their spare time allows._

_It's no fun that they're currently so far away, and we eagerly await their return to home soil so that we too can have some celebrity sightings._

**

The party was supposed to be a small, intimate one, a celebration for The Knights' second album sales for, well, pretty much everywhere they had a release. But Uther Pendragon couldn't resist having a big, showy party, nor could he resist inviting members of the press. The press were only there for a little while, just as everyone walked in and they did some interviews, like it was some red carpet or something, and Arthur wouldn't be surprised to see a spread in the paper or mentions in upcoming issues of magazines. 

The Knights did their part -- spoke to whom they were supposed to speak to, posed for pictures, all the right things. But Arthur was grateful to get inside the dining hall, for the crowds to thin out and for himself to be surrounded by mostly familiar faces.

"Arthur!" Elena said, coming up to him as soon as he entered the large reception area. He could tell she'd spent the day with her stylist -- her hair was sleek, and her makeup perfect, all in a way that she wouldn't do herself and only put up with because she was making an appearance.

"Hello," he said, taking her hand in his and planting a kiss on her cheek. It was keeping up appearances, he knew that -- and so did she -- but he was honestly glad to see her.

They spoke for a few minutes, light conversation, when Arthur trailed off right in the middle of a sentence when he heard familiar laughter.

He looked over. Merlin was standing not ten feet away, not even looking or paying any attention to Arthur, but laughing with Gwaine. He knew the two got along fairly well, but he wouldn't have thought Merlin would stop to say hello to Gwaine first. Hell, he didn't even know Merlin was going to be there, though it made sense because Gaius had got Merlin into quite a few events over the past couple of years.

Merlin met Arthur's gaze; Merlin's mouth softened into a smile and his eyes crinkled in the corners. He looked over and noticed Elena standing there, and the smile flickered but only for a brief moment before it was plastered right back in place.

Gwaine noticed them looking at each other and threw an arm over Merlin's shoulders, steering them over to where Arthur and Elena looked. Gwaine threw a playful leer at Elena. "Looking good there, lady," he greeted. She rolled her eyes, but smiled.

"Hello," Arthur greeted. He very nearly winced at just how formal he sounded.

Merlin blinked. "Um, yes. Hi, Arthur."

It was Gwaine's turn to roll his eyes. He looked at Elena and said, "This is Merlin."

"Oh! Merlin!" Elena said, recognition in her voice. "Arthur's best mate."

"You wouldn't think it, considering they're acting like imbeciles," Gwaine said. He jostled Merlin's shoulders then pushed him towards Arthur.

"Who're you calling imbecile?" Arthur said, scowling at Gwaine. But he tugged Merlin in, gave him a quick hug with a hearty slap on the back. His voice was softer, though, as he spoke in Merlin's ear. "Hey, you."

"Hey," Merlin said back. He gave Arthur a tight, quick squeeze and let go, but he smiled as he looked at Elena. "Hi, sorry about that, I'm Merlin."

Arthur and Merlin had only had one rather heated conversation about Elena over the phone; Merlin had accused him right away about what Elena really was, just a front for the public, and Arthur had argued back that she was really a nice girl and he liked her so Merlin could just take all his ideals and beliefs and shut his mouth because he didn't understand. That really _had_ shut Merlin up, and their next couple of conversations were rather stilted and awkward, and Arthur realised he hated speaking to his friend like that. It didn't seem right that Merlin was so closed up about it now, and Arthur had no idea how this meeting between Elena and Merlin would go.

Elena took the hand Merlin extended to her. She smiled warmly. "Nice to finally meet you. Arthur always goes on about you."

Gwaine smirked, but Merlin's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Is that so?"

"Yes," Arthur interjected smoothly. "A lot about how you stumble over your own feet--"

"My sympathies there," Elena said, and Gwaine laughed good-naturedly. Elena smiled at him.

"--and also how you're a cheeky bastard," Arthur finished.

"But only to you," Merlin said easily. "Who else will keep your oversized ego in check?"

"Gwaine," Elena said, just as Gwaine said, "Me," and Arthur pointed to Gwaine and announced, "Him."

Merlin burst out laughing, light and carefree. It struck Arthur right in the gut and down to his toes because, god, he'd _missed_ that. Merlin glanced at Gwaine, amused. "I knew there was a reason we got on so well." Gwaine held out a hand and Merlin slapped it a high-five.

"You're both ridiculous," Arthur said flatly, in jest. He was about to go on with a retort at Merlin's, or Gwaine's, or both their expense, but then he saw his father making his way across the room towards their group. Arthur drew in a breath and stood up straighter. All of them noticed the shift, and glanced over.

"Ahh," Gwaine said. "I suppose we need to make nice with the boss, then?"

"My father, Gwaine," Arthur said sharply.

"Yes, how could we forget that," Merlin said. "That's my cue to, uh..." He trailed off and then pointed in the opposite direction. "Go that way." Arthur glanced at him, though Elena looked curious. Merlin just shrugged unapologetically. "Mr. Pendragon isn't such a fan of mine."

"Merlin--" Arthur started.

"No worries," Merlin said with a shrug, though he looked a little hurt.

"Well, I'll join you," Elena said, and her hand slipped out of the crook of Arthur's elbow. Merlin blinked at her, surprised, but Elena just said, "I could use a drink. And I highly doubt that I'm Mr. Pendragon's favourite either."

Merlin snorted. "I'm sure you're exactly that."

"Agreed," Gwaine said.

"Enough," Arthur said sharply. He didn't have a chance to say anything else before his father greeted him. But when Arthur glanced over, he saw that Elena and Merlin had slipped away.

Arthur rubbed his eyes for a moment; that couldn't be good.

"Arthur?"

Arthur looked up with a steady smile, one that he'd perfected over the past couple years in the business -- longer, if he thought back about it, with previous expectations put upon him. "Good evening, Father."

"Mr. Pendragon," Gwaine said with a short nod.

It wasn't likely Gwaine would say much more unless it was coaxed from him -- speaking to Uther was one of the very few things that made him clam up. Therefore, Arthur tried to cover for both of them. "It's going well tonight, isn't it?"

Uther frowned and looked behind Arthur, probably at Merlin and Elena's retreating backs. "I was hoping to get a chance to speak to your girlfriend."

"Oh, there's all evening," Arthur said dismissively. "I'm sure you'll catch up with her. She and Merlin are just getting to know each other." What a scary thought that was, to be honest.

"Yes, well." Uther turned to Gwaine. "Would you mind giving me a few minutes, I'd like to speak to my son alone."

"Of course," Gwaine said, and though he was covering it up pretty well, Arthur could see the relief there. "I'll go say hello to Gaius and Leon over there."

Uther barely made a sound of acknowledgement at that, and took Arthur's elbow, pulling him off to the side. Arthur asked, "Is something the matter, Father? Is it the group? Or the upcoming tour, or--"

"Oh, no, nothing like that," Uther said, cutting him off. Uther glanced around, and then looked back at Arthur. "I think you should reconsider spending time with that Merlin fellow."

Arthur could barely cover up the shock at that, but he thought he did all right. After clearing his throat, he said, "I don't think that's necessary. He's a friend."

"Yes, yes, I know that. I just don't think he'll be good for your image, that's all."

"Who said that?" Arthur said in a stiff tone. "I seriously doubt it was Gaius, given that Merlin is his _nephew_ \--"

"Oh, no, no one has officially advised of that. Not yet, anyway."

Arthur could barely focus with the pounding of his heart he could hear in his ears. "I don't understand, then, why you would say such a thing--"

"You know he's gay," Uther said bluntly but calm.

Arthur blinked. "I've known since I've met him. He doesn't keep that a secret."

"Precisely."

That was all Uther said. Arthur waited for more, but it didn't come. He tried to keep the snark under wraps -- this was his father, after all, not to mention his _boss_ \-- but he just didn't understand. "So ... why does that matter?"

"It'd be best for you if you're not seen associating with him. I know you have a girlfriend now--"

"That I was set up with," Arthur muttered. Uther continued on like he hadn't heard him.

"But that doesn't mean that the gossip rags won't take that and twist it into something we don't want."

Arthur blinked. "But it's just ... _Merlin_. No one knows him. Why would anyone care?"

"Now, perhaps, but I hear he's already causing a stir in the publishing world. And once that gay book of his hits the stores, the one about _magic_ , good god," Uther said, making a disgusted face, as if he couldn't believe someone would publish such a thing, "I'm sure the press would love to make a connection. Make some insinuations about your friendship."

Hell, Arthur couldn't believe someone would publish such a thing. Because he _didn't know_.

"Wait, what?" Arthur was so shocked that he didn't even think about interrupting his father and how much his father hated that.

The look on his face was a clear indication his father _still_ hated it. "His book, Arthur." Uther's lips pursed into a thin line. "Don't tell me he didn't tell you. Gaius told me weeks ago."

" _Weeks_?" Arthur was flabbergasted, which was something he disliked just as much as his father, being thrown off and finding himself stumbling across unexpected information in a conversation. "I -- I have to go and find him."

"Arthur, we're having a discussion here." Uther did not look very happy. Arthur was saved, however, when he noticed Agravaine and Morgana walking towards them. "Uncle! Morgana! Nice to see you."

"Fabulous party, Uther," Agravaine said. Arthur took that opportunity to slip away, throwing a quick half-smile to Morgana when she noticed he was trying to escape.

There must've been something in his look, however, because for once she didn't try to cause any stir there, and just let him go on his way.

**

Arthur found Merlin standing near the punch-bowl, holding a glass and laughing as he spoke with Elena. The two looked like they were getting on, which was just _fabulous_ , Arthur thought sarcastically. Maybe Merlin had let her in on the big secret too before telling Arthur, his supposed best mate. That would just be _wonderful_. 

Arthur sidled up next to Merlin and grabbed his elbow. He caught Merlin off guard, though, so Merlin pulled back by reflex but, being _Merlin_ , stumbled backwards into the table. It wobbled precariously, and the punchbowl slid back a little. Miraculously, it stopped before it tipped over and they were saved from that disaster, at least.

"Merlin," Arthur said. Merlin turned to him, the dim light of the hall catching in his eyes before they went back to being their perfect blue. Merlin blinked at him. Arthur just scowled. "I need to talk to you."

"All right," Merlin said, confused. "So talk."

Arthur glanced at Elena, who was looking between the two of them curiously.

"Elena, would you excuse us please?"

"There's a lot of that going on tonight, isn't there?" She didn't look upset as she said it though, but as if she understood. She gave a small smile, still looking worriedly between the two. But she nodded, and pointed over her shoulder. "I'll go and find some of the others. Or my girls, they're probably around."

"I'm sure they are," Arthur said graciously.

"Watch out for the punch table," Merlin said cheerily. "It's a sneaky sort of bastard."

Elena laughed lightly but made her way back through the crowd, looking for someone to mingle with.

Arthur pulled on Merlin's elbow again, dragging him off to the side of the room, half-hiding them behind a potted plant. Merlin jerked his arm away from Arthur. "What is wrong with you?" Merlin hissed. "Are you trying to cause a scene or something?"

Arthur crossed his arms over his chest. "That's you, Clumsy Spice," he said, and Merlin rolled his eyes, "and your secret."

Merlin blinked at him, jaw dropped open in shock. Arthur tried to push out of his mind just what a good look that was on him. Merlin's mouth snapped shut then he whispered, "Secret?"

"Yes, _secret_ ," Arthur said. "The one my father knows and I do _not_."

"Your father knows!"

"Yes, he's the one who told me."

"He told you!"

"Stop parroting back at me," Arthur snapped. "What kind of published novelist are you, anyway?"

"I'm not technically yet, not until December -- what?" Merlin gaped at him. "You know?"

"Yes, I know. My father just told me. He said that Gaius told him weeks ago. _Weeks_ ago, Merlin." Arthur scowled. "How come I didn't know weeks ago?"

Merlin glanced down at his feet, clearly abashed. "I didn't want -- you were so --" Merlin looked back up at him, colour high on his cheekbones. "The Knights are doing so well."

Arthur looked at Merlin like he was an idiot, even though it was Arthur who was entirely confused at the moment. "So?"

Merlin shrugged one shoulder. "I didn't want to take anything away from that. You're so happy."

"Merlin. You are the biggest idiot I have ever met," Arthur told him. "The _biggest_. You thought that, what, I'd think you were stealing my thunder or something?" Merlin didn't say anything, so Arthur sighed. "How long have you known?"

Merlin mumbled something at his shoes but Arthur didn't hear.

"What?"

Merlin sighed and looked up at him. "I've known the publication date since Times Square."

"Since _April_ , what the bloody hell, Merlin? And what do you mean, publication date, you knew something sooner?"

"You knew I was submitting my manuscript, and that I had one publisher biting," Merlin said, as if that at all atoned for any of it. "I just -- things became sort of official, set in stone, recently. I found out that day, but you were so happy and it just didn't seem like the right time to tell you, then you were on _tour_ and you have a girlfriend now."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Merlin didn't answer but continued on. "And things were weird and I don't know!" His hands were waving around, and it was a good thing his glass was nearly empty because he only got a little bit of punch on the potted plant. "It just never seemed like the right time!"

"When were you going to tell me? When it was already in the bookstores?" Arthur exclaimed loudly.

"Maybe!" Merlin exclaimed back, just as ferociously. "So what if I was?"

Arthur opened his mouth to yell something back, but then he thought better of it and shut his mouth. Merlin shuffled nervously from foot to foot. Finally Arthur said, in a much gentler and somewhat awed tone, "Merlin. You're going to be a _published author_."

The look on Merlin's face was worth it. He was clearly trying to hold back a smile, but it was like his mouth couldn't fight it. His lips spread wide and there was the most beautiful, proud smile that Arthur had ever seen on Merlin's face. Proud and happy and open and honest. " _Arthur_. I am!"

"That's bloody fantastic," Arthur said, and grabbed Merlin. He pulled him into a hug, much tighter and a million times better than the awkward one they'd shared earlier. "That's so amazing. You're going to be famous!"

Merlin squeezed back and laughed. "I don't know about that. I don't think there's that big of a market for sci-fi fantasy with homoerotic subtext."

"Of course there is," Arthur said, letting him go and waving a hand dismissively. "And if there isn't, you'll just make it. Can I be your number one fan?"

Merlin barked out a loud laughter, and rubbed a hand over his forehead. His cheeks were bright red now. "I thought you already were?"

"I _am_ ," Arthur said confidently. "But I'll make it official. I'll set up a fan club and send in letters to magazines and make a geocities fan website like fans of The Knights do but especially for you."

Merlin's eyes went wide. "How do you _know_ all that? I told you to stay away from the Internet. Just -- for your own good, _stay away_."

"I have been," Arthur said with a shrug. "Morgana's taken it upon herself to do it. I don't know if it's officially part of her job, but it's like she's become obsessed with it, and needs to tell me everything."

"Oh, god," Merlin said, slapping his palm to his forehead. "That is only going to lead to disaster."

"I don't really care, whatever. But _Merlin_. You and your book. I'm starting a forum for you, obviously."

"No, you're not. You don't know how to work the Internet."

"Fuck off, I do too. Besides, I have people who could do it for me. Morgana! She'll help me be your number one fan."

"You are a crazy person," Merlin said, rolling his eyes.

"Nope, just a right one. Always." Arthur smiled at Merlin. "This will be amazing for you. You're brilliant."

Merlin gave Arthur a soft smile, and it was one that Arthur was going to hold on to, tuck away, and remember on the long days away from home while on tour. Merlin said, "Thanks, Arthur."

Arthur just smiled back. "Come on, let's go celebrate."

"This party is for you," Merlin pointed out as they left their little hiding place behind the potted plant -- which, looking at it now, Arthur saw wasn't really much of a hiding place at all.

"Well, yes, and the other Knights. But I know they won't mind making it about you too."

"Arthur, no--"

"Hey! You guys!" Arthur called out. He saw Gwaine, Lance and Elyan -- and even Percy and Leon -- all turn to look at him, as they tended to do when he called out demandingly like that. "You'll never believe the news I have!"

**

Arthur sat in the back of the limo his father had arranged for him. The party was a smashing success -- he'd had a lot of fun with his friends and Elena. He'd mingled with his father's associates, started to network just like his father wanted. He might be in a boy band, but he was going to make sure that, someday in the future, he was taken just as seriously in this business as his father was. 

It had been a really good night.

Until, of course, it all started crashing around him.

It started with Elena.

"I get it now," she said softly, looking out of the tinted window.

He lolled his head to look at her. "Get what?"

She looked at him and her smile was so soft, so understanding. She placed a gentle hand on top of his, where it was resting on the seat between them. "You."

He laughed. "Is that so?"

"And why."

"Why what?"

"Why you're so insistent this just be for show."

Arthur couldn't help it, he started to recoil; his mood and emotions, and his body. He slipped his hand out from under hers and sat back, scowl deep on his face.

"No, no, wait," she said quickly, reaching out for him. "I'm not, it's ... well, it's not _okay_ , I think it's horrible, the pressure you must be under from your father." She snorted under her breath. "Believe me, I understand."

He kept his face neutral and said blandly, "I'm not following you."

"You don't have to pretend with me. I mean, you _pretend_ with me, but you don't have to hide from me." She sighed and sat back. "Though, if you ask me, it's so obvious."

"Obvious?"

She looked so sad, so sympathetic for him. "You and Merlin."

Arthur was shaking his head before she'd even finished Merlin's name. "No, it's not what you're thinking. We're just friends."

"You immediately assumed I'm thinking -- what I _am_ thinking, Arthur. We both know I'm right."

He turned to stare out his own window. "It doesn't matter, whatever you're thinking. Me and Merlin are just mates, just friends, and that's never going to change."

"That's so sad, Arthur. You should be with him, if that's what you want."

"Are you breaking up with me?" He glanced over to see her shaking her head that no, no she was not. Not yet, anyway.

"I don't have the permission to." Never had he heard her sound so bitter before. He understood where she was coming from.

He reached out and took her hand, to comfort her or himself, he wasn't entirely sure. They probably both needed it and they were, at the very least, friends now.

After a few minutes of silence, she said, "This will all blow over eventually, you know."

"I don't think for me," he answered quietly. Maybe Elena wouldn't put up with him forever, but he couldn't imagine ever living outside of the expectations his father put on him, of who he was supposed to be to the public.

"I think he'd wait for you," Elena said. "I can see it."

"Yeah," Arthur said, nodding. "It's because he's -- Merlin."

There was no other explanation for it, and it was entirely the truth, but it certainly didn't make Arthur feel any better about it. It didn't make it right. A dark, gnawing feeling started to grow in his stomach and didn't go away for the rest of the evening, or the following days.

**

"Arthur!" Merlin said happily as he threw open the door. He gave one of his wide smiles. "I can't believe you made it!" 

"Me either, actually. I'm knackered." Arthur stepped inside the house; it was Gaius' home but Merlin had taken up the entire basement. They'd even renovated it into a suite so Merlin had his own space. 

"Yes, yes," Merlin said, completely oblivious to Arthur's internal struggle. "Lots of practicing and preparations for the next leg of tour, yeah?" He led Arthur down the stairs. He threw a look over his shoulder, grinning wide. "Asia! Just as you predicted."

"I know. Who would've thought?" Arthur said.

They were down in Merlin's living space now; it was a bit cluttered, with Merlin's possessions strewn about -- lots of books and scrap papers, post-it notes stuck to the walls and the furniture and the lamps. Lots of music CDs and videotapes stacked in the corner. But it was cozy and nice, and Arthur remembered having several lazy days down here, whether it be watching the telly or having a few drinks. Or playing drinking games to the telly, which Merlin was always completely crap at and was known for getting tipsy quickly.

Arthur sighed and his heart felt heavier.

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked after a bit of chattering away. He'd been clearing off the couch for them to sit, but paused mid-way, his hand gripping a scarf.

"Nothing," Arthur said automatically. He heard the lie as easily as Merlin saw it.

"Arthur," Merlin said softly. He took a couple steps forward but frowned when Arthur stepped back; Arthur couldn't handle Merlin being too near right now. Merlin clutched the scarf to his chest, the end hanging almost all the way to the ground, the little tassels brushing against his socked feet. It was summer, for Christ's sake, he shouldn't even have it out.

"Merlin, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to see you anymore."

"For a while, I know," Merlin said. He was frowning and Arthur thought that perhaps Merlin understood. But he didn't. "You're going on tour and such, I know that. It's just like when you were in America."

"No, Merlin," Arthur said. "I mean ... I mean always."

Merlin dropped the scarf back down to the couch and stood with his arms crossed over his chest. He said flatly, "You're breaking up with me."

"We're not a couple," Arthur snapped.

"Oh, no, of course not. You've a girlfriend," Merlin said bitterly.

"This has nothing to do with her, leave her out of it," Arthur said. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "This has to do with ..."

"What?" Merlin said. "With us? Because as far as I can tell, I've done nothing wrong, nothing at all, and it's you being a prick."

"If that's how you want to see it," Arthur said through clenched teeth.

"Who are you and what have you done with Arthur?" Merlin asked, disbelievingly.

"What the bloody hell does that mean?"

"Well, first you've admitted to being a prick, which is something Arthur Pendragon just does not do, nor would he just dump his friends, so I want to know who the hell you are and what have you done with my friend Arthur? You're an alien, right? Some sort of pod person. It's the only explanation."

"Fine, Merlin, it's not me. It's you, and I can't be your friend, all right?"

Arthur clamped his mouth shut as soon as the words were out; he couldn't believe he'd actually just said that. By the hurt look on Merlin's face, neither could he. But it was done, it was out there, and if this was the best way, then they'd just have to do it.

Merlin dropped his anger and now just looked bewildered. "I don't understand. You can pretend to have a girlfriend--"

"She _is_ my girlfriend."

"-- but you can't have _actual_ friends?"

"I can have friends," Arthur said. "It's just easier if they understand. And are, you know, the same as me."

"And I'm not," Merlin said flatly. "Because I don't sing and dance and I'm different so you can't be my friend."

"Well -- yes."

"Bullshit," Merlin barked out. "That's not what this is about, this isn't _you_. If you're going to stop us from being friends, come up with a better answer than that. Tell me the truth!"

Arthur's words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. "You're bad for my image!"

Merlin blinked at him, and then laughed harshly. "Oh, I'm sorry, when did Uther Pendragon walk into the room? I must've missed the announcement."

"What does that mean?" Only, Arthur knew exactly what that meant. His father's words, from the party, from after he'd taken Elena home, for the past three days -- they rang through Arthur's head, and they echoed off Merlin's walls after he'd blurted them out loud.

"That means that it's your father talking, not _you_ ," Merlin said. "And let me guess? Your father doesn't want his son, his very straight superstar son, oh me oh my, to be spending time with the gay writer who writes gay things. With magic, because oh my god, my fictional book must have some sort of deeper meaning."

Arthur gaped at Merlin. "How'd you -- that isn't--"

"Yes it is," Merlin said with a roll of his eyes. "He said something to Gaius weeks ago, and Gaius mentioned it to me -- not in a way that was forbidding me to see you, Gaius thinks the opposite, thank you very much -- but just warning me that it might be an issue. That it might come up." Merlin flopped down to the couch and put his head into his hands. His next words were muffled, but Arthur heard them. "I never thought I'd actually hear it from you."

"Merlin," Arthur said, brokenly. "My father … he knows what's best."

"No he doesn't!" Merlin looked from where he was staring at the floor and there was fire in his eyes. "He doesn't know what's best for _you_ , he's only thinking of his company and his sales. His image! Your image! Can't you see that?"

"He has a lot of experience in this business."

"He's cold-hearted and selfish," Merlin spat out.

"He is my _father_."

"No, he's only acting like your _boss_. If he was acting like a father, he'd care about your--"

"Enough!" Arthur closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He tried to steel himself. When he was ready, he looked up. Merlin was standing again, and only a couple feet away. Arthur said, closed off, "I will do as he says. As I've always done."

"Arthur," Merlin said softly. "You're better than this. You're strong. You can make your own decisions for _you_. And you're an adult now, it's your right."

"It's not just me I'm thinking of," Arthur said. "I have responsibilities to my father, and my band, and Camelot Records."

"At the expense of what?" Merlin snorted. "Your own happiness?"

"And what's my happiness? You?" Arthur couldn't help the words; they tore out of him and straight through Merlin, and Arthur could see the damage they were doing. But it would only make it easier, to get this all out of the way as quickly as possible. "Being a Knight is my happiness. Being a part of Camelot Records is my happiness."

Merlin's face was blank, cold, and so unlike what Arthur was used to. There were no smiles there, no cheeky smirk, or frustrated roll of his eyes. All the many faces that he'd made at Arthur over the last couple of years.

"Okay, Arthur," Merlin said slowly. "This is a pointless time to get into how important it is to be yourself, even when you have to keep some things private, isn't it?"

"It's easier for you," Arthur said. "You're out and proud and don't have to answer to others. You can be yourself."

Merlin snorted. "Right. All my secrets are revealed."

"So you don't have to be as careful," Arthur said. "I have no other choice."

"You always have choices, Arthur. Just make sure they are your own."

Arthur's hands curled up into tight balls. "They are."

"All right then." Merlin stepped back from Arthur again; Arthur wished, so very badly, he could reach out and grab back all the hurtful words he'd just said. But he couldn't -- what was said was done.

"I'm going to go," Arthur said softly. "Bye, Merlin."

Merlin didn't say anything, didn't say goodbye, as though if it wasn't uttered out loud it wouldn't be true. But he turned away from Arthur and looked down at his socked feet. Arthur couldn't make himself look back as he turned to go.

**

  


[ ](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part2/8BookReviewbyGMonmouth.png)

  


**Book Review by G. Monmouth  
 _Kill, Gharrah_ by Merlin Emrys**  
 _SFX, December 1999_

__Kill, Gharrah _is the first in a sci-fi fantasy series by debut novelist Merlin Emrys. The protagonist is a young warlock called Gharrah who must hide his natural talents, as the kingdom he resides in has banned magic and practicing it is punishable by death. He is tracked down by a high priestess and under her tutelage, is trained in strong, if somewhat dark, magic. To save their way of life, and bring magic back to the land, she charges him with the task of infiltrating the court and getting close to the King and the Crown Prince with the endgame of assassinating them during an important ritual so magic-users can take over the throne._

_There are issues with this mission, of course: mostly, there is an instant connection and attraction between the prince and Gharrah; magic-users (and non-magic users) who are not involved in the ritual plot but just want the royals dead keep getting in the way and Gharrah spends most of his time trying to save the prince just to struggle with the idea that he's supposed to kill him when the day of the ritual comes; as well, there's this prophecy from a dragon that Gharrah needs to side with the prince to bring magic back to the land. Putting all of this together, Gharrah has a difficult time on his hands, not to mention is trying to avoid those blossoming feelings of affection for the prince._

_While the author is still young and certainly has room to grow, the writing of this novel is more than decent. It's an easy read, but captivating, and once you're sucked into the story it's difficult to put down. The genre of the book -- homoerotic sci-fi fantasy -- might not be the most popular and mainstream, but there will undoubtedly be those who will read it, enjoy it, and want the sequel._

**

Arthur followed his father out of the lift and trailed after him down the hall. It was quiet at Camelot Records, closing in on the holidays and people taking much deserved extra time off. The Knights, though, were still busy. While they had another leg of the _Banded_ tour planned in the early new year in Australia, hitting up all the summer festivals there, they were already settling in to get recording on their third album. As Uther liked to say, there was no rest during the height of success if you wanted it to continue. 

Uther and Arthur went into Morgana's office, a short meeting planned with her, though they were a bit early. Uther froze in his tracks and Arthur very nearly ran into his back. Leaning to look around his father, Arthur saw Morgana sitting at her desk with a salad in front of her. She didn't seem to be paying any attention to her food but had a book held up in front of her face.

Merlin's book.

Arthur froze on the spot. He'd -- well, he'd heard that it had been released. Heard the whispering amongst Lance, Gwaine, Elyan, Leon _and_ Percy when they all thought he couldn't hear. Heard Gaius on the phone talking happily about his nephew's brilliance. Still, Arthur had been doing a pretty good job pretending that it didn't exist. Pretending _Merlin_ didn't exist.

Except, that was a lie. Pretend as he may, it was difficult to forget.

Arthur hadn't spoken to Merlin for months, not since that day when Arthur walked out of Gaius' basement. Merlin avoided him whenever he was in London but that was easy enough because Arthur was barely around. He'd been really busy with The Knights on tour all around the world. He ignored the fact that they weren't making phone calls or sending emails any more, and they certainly hadn't been chatting on ICQ either. The hole inside him where Merlin used to reside didn't seem to hurt quite as badly as it could've, though. Mostly, Arthur just pushed himself with work and was too exhausted to pay attention to it otherwise. But when he did think about it, he felt sad and even ashamed for how it went down.

"Morgana," Uther's cold voice said, pulling Arthur out of his thoughts. "What are you doing?"

Morgana glanced up. "I'm taking my lunch break. You're early."

"No," Uther said. He pointed to the book. "What are you doing with _that_?"

"Oh, this?" she said, casually waving the book around like she didn't realise that was what Uther's problem was. "I'm reading this fascinating book my friend wrote."

"I didn't realise you were friends," Arthur said immediately, but then cringed. Morgana wouldn't let that go.

"More than _you_ , yes," she said coolly. 

Uther said, "That book is about--"

"Gay people, yes I know," Morgana said. "How terribly uncomfortable for you to speak about."

Arthur felt his eyes go wide and he swallowed hard, but he didn't say anything.

"That's not what I was going to say," Uther said without skipping a beat. "It's about magic. You know my thoughts about having such frivolities at the office."

Morgana rolled her eyes. "This book is a fictional fantasy novel that takes place in a make believe world based on medieval times. It has nothing to do with your current bigotry."

"Morgana," Uther said sharply. "I will not be spoken to like that."

"Then perhaps you shouldn't make ridiculous accusations about things you don't know," Morgana spat back.

"Please," Arthur said, stepping forward. "We're here to talk business, aren't we? No need to get into an argument over this."

"You're right, Arthur, of course," Uther said, but his anger was thinly veiled.

"All right, then," Morgana said, voice echoing Uther's with bare restraint. "However, I am still on my break and I would prefer if you left me to it for a few more minutes."

"Of course," Uther said, hand smoothing over his tie. "I will go and get some tea, and when I return I expect you to be ready to work."

"Of course," Morgana echoed as if the last three minutes never happened.

Uther turned and walked away. Arthur looked after him, and then glanced back at Morgana. Though there were still pink spots of anger on her cheeks, she looked upon Arthur more softly. He coughed awkwardly.

"It really is good," Morgana said softly.

Arthur didn't want to ask and it felt like it was dragged out of him. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "It is. Despite what I said to Uther, it _is_ so very relevant to current day. The themes throughout it -- struggling against one's upbringing, trying to find peace, respecting others, acceptance. It's -- beautifully done."

"Oh?"

"Yes," she said. She gave a small smile. "Though, I suppose if Uther saw the dedication, I could understand why he's so angry about it. Though I seriously doubt he has."

"Why's that?" Arthur couldn't help but ask.

"Read it yourself," Morgana said, and held out the book.

Arthur took a deep breath but he took it. He flipped to the page at the beginning with the dedications.

  


_To my mother for all her love,  
and Gaius for his guidance,  
and to A. May you find your own way._  


  


Arthur stared at the page. His chest felt tight, like he couldn't get enough air to breath.

"That doesn't mean anything," he finally managed as he handed the book back. 

"You can keep that," she said, sidestepping his claim. "I can get another copy."

Arthur shook his head and dropped the book on the desk. "No ... no, thank you. That's not necessary."

"Oh, Arthur."

"I need to go," Arthur said. "When my father returns, tell him I wasn't feeling well. I -- need to go."

"Oh great. That'll go over well," she said dryly, but when he looked at her, she smiled softly. "Get some rest."

He nodded, and made his way out of the office, taking the stairwell to avoid seeing his father.

He headed to the nearest bookshop to buy a copy of his own.

**

Arthur gripped the book in his hand -- _Merlin's_ book. He really shouldn't be doing this. He really, really should not. He had no right, not now. 

But … this was _Merlin_ , and his book. There was nothing that Arthur could do to make himself ignore it, as upset as he was at himself for the whole thing, for not being able to stand up to his father and for pushing his friend away. Arthur knew he had to read it.

And he had. And loved it.

Now he had to tell Merlin.

Arthur knocked on Gaius' front door. When no one answered immediately, he pressed on the door bell. After a couple of moments, Gaius opened up, looking surprised.

"Arthur! I wasn't expecting you." He opened the door wider, allowing Arthur to step inside. "Is everything all right?"

"Oh, yes, perfect. I was just -- is Merlin home?"

Gaius glanced down at Arthur's hands and saw the book tightly clutched there. Gaius was always and would always be professional, but he'd been rather cold and a bit distant, regarding Merlin and anything personal. Arthur could not fault him for that, and he was certainly within his rights to kick Arthur out of his home now.

He did not do that. He just arched his eyebrow and pointed to the basement door that led down to where Merlin stayed.

"Thank you, Gaius," Arthur breathed out.

"It's about time you fixed this," Gaius said. "I expected better from you." But with that, he turned away and left Arthur alone to make the trek down the staircase.

Arthur knocked on the door, to be polite and warn Merlin that someone was coming down. But he started down the stairs without an answer, afraid that Merlin would refuse to even let him in.

"Oh, Gaius!" Merlin called out. "Gilli and I had a question about--"

"It's me, Merlin," Arthur returned. Gilli? Who the hell was that? As Arthur reached the bottom of the stairs and turned the corner, seeing into the main part of the room, Arthur spied Merlin. He was sitting on the sofa, hands balled up into fists on his lap, looking shocked.

Next to him on the sofa was a younger bloke, though probably not too much younger than Merlin himself, looking at Arthur. His face was blank and guarded, but he was sitting awfully close to Merlin.

"Arthur." Merlin sounded very surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I didn't know you had company," Arthur said stiffly. "I'm sorry to interrupt, I can go."

"No!" Merlin called out, then looked guiltily over at his companion. "It's -- Gilli and I were just ..."

"Hello," Arthur said to Gilli, nodding his head. "I'm Arthur."

Gilli snorted. "I figured." Clearly, he didn't like Arthur much, but he looked awed, almost, when he looked at Merlin. "I can go."

"You can wait upstairs with Gaius, if you want?" Merlin suggested. "If you don't mind?" He looked at Arthur. "This won't take long, I don't think."

Arthur felt properly chastised, and there was anger pressing at his chest, but he thought better of making any smart retorts. That wasn't why he was here and it would earn him no favours.

Gilli brushed past Arthur as he went up the stairs, nearly knocking him over while sending him a glare. Arthur waited until the door was closed before saying, "Guess he doesn't know who I am."

"He knows. He's just not a fan. What do you want, Arthur?"

"Is he your boyfriend?" Arthur winced at himself, not meaning to ask that question but unable to stop.

"No," Merlin said, shrugging. "But I like him. We have a lot in common."

"So he will be." Arthur's shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Either way, I don't see what business it is of yours."

And, ouch. Not that he didn't deserve it, but still. Ouch.

"I broke up with Elena," Arthur offered. Not that he was _offering_ anything, but it would maybe help the conversation. Help repair their friendship. Maybe.

By the look on Merlin's face ... no, no it wouldn't.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Merlin asked icily. "You don't want to be my friend anymore, but you dumped your beard so that makes everything okay?"

"Don't call her that," Arthur said sharply. "Don't be mean about her because you're mad at me. And that's a shit thing to say anyway. I just thought --"

"What, Arthur?" Now Merlin sounded tired, resigned. "I don't see how breaking up with your girlfriend changes anything between us. And it certainly doesn't mean I'm shoving myself back in the closet. I'm allowed to date. If I want. Not saying that I am, but if I want."

"No, no. I know. Of course you are. I --" Arthur cleared his throat and then forced the words out. "But, if you are -- as long as you're happy -- then good for you."

Merlin eyed Arthur skeptically. "And what about you?"

"I think I will be staying single for a long time," Arthur said. "I might not be able to choose who I want, but I'm not going to blatantly lie anymore. That's not me. And it's not Elena. We're still friends, though."

"Well, good," Merlin said shortly. "She was rather brilliant. Except for that part where she put up with you."

"Yes, God knows why anyone would do that," Arthur replied.

Merlin snorted. He was quiet for a moment, but then asked, "You didn't come here to tell me you broke up with your girlfriend, or to spy on my new friends, did you?"

"No," Arthur said, shaking his head. He held up the book in his hand; Merlin blinked at it, as if surprised, as if he hadn't noticed it yet. Clearly, he hadn't.

"Oh," he breathed out. "That's -- that's my book."

"That's your brilliant, entertaining, brave book," Arthur said, nodding.

Merlin made a strangled noise that Arthur couldn't quite decipher. "You've read it."

"I have. And I think it's amazing. _You're_ amazing."

Merlin's cheeks went red and it looked like he was trying to keep in a smile. "You think so?"

Arthur nodded seriously. "I know so. And you know I only give such praise when it's due. And it's due, here. It really is."

"I -- thank you," Merlin said.

"I love the sword fights," Arthur offered.

Merlin grinned at that. "I thought you would."

"And you called it homoerotic subtext, once. Uh, in case you missed it, there was nothing sub about that text. It was, like, full-on gay blokes getting it on. The prince and that wizard -- if they don't end up together forever, you're going to have upset fans on your hands."

"You mean you."

"Hell yes, I mean me."

Merlin laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

"You'll be writing more, then?"

"Of course." Merlin shrugged. "I don't think I'll ever stop. It's like you and music, yeah? You'll always do it, one way or another."

Arthur nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I will."

They were quiet for a moment. Merlin looked like he wanted to say something more, but was unsure on how to go forward, or maybe like he didn't trust Arthur enough to do so. That was the most difficult part for Arthur, seeing the uncertain look on Merlin's face because it had never, ever existed there before, but he took a deep breath and considered his next words carefully.

And then just blurted out what he really wanted to say.

"I liked the dedication," Arthur said.

"I know lots of people whose name starts with A," Merlin said immediately.

"Really?" Arthur couldn't help but smirk. "Name three."

Merlin's eyes narrowed. "Doesn't matter, you don't know them."

"Sure," Arthur said easily. "Well, whoever it was, I'm sure he really appreciated it."

"Yeah?" Merlin asked. "I mean, hypothetically speaking, if it were you, that's … what you'd think?"

"Hypothetically speaking," Arthur said, playing along, "if it were me, I'd think more than just that. I'd be really honoured, especially with how much of an arse I was to you and I really don't deserve it. I'd think …" Arthur's fingers tightened around the book and he looked down at it. "Well, _thank you_."

When Arthur looked back up, there was a smile tugging on the corner of Merlin's mouth, like he was trying very hard to keep it back. He said softly, "Yeah?"

Arthur nodded. "Yeah."

"Well," Merlin said more confidently, though humour flashed in his eyes, "too bad it wasn't for you, then."

"Yeah," Arthur said, grinning. "Too bad, that."

Merlin's smile was softer now, like how he used to look at Arthur as if he was feeling particularly fond of him in that moment. But then he coughed and stood up. "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be keeping my friend."

"Right, yes, of course. I should go," Arthur said. He paused for a moment, then said, "Hey, Merlin?"

"Yeah?"

"Wanna go out for dinner tomorrow? Just a friend thing," Arthur said quickly, holding his hands up defensively when Merlin snorted.

Merlin carefully assessed him. "I thought we didn't do that anymore," he said cautiously.

"About that -- I think we should get over that."

" _We_? Is this some sort of apology?"

Arthur waved his hand in the air. "You know that I'm crap at that. I'm trying, here."

"And what would your father say?"

"Bollocks to what my father says," Arthur said. "I decided to _not_ have a girlfriend, I can decide to have my best mate back, can't I?"

"Provided your best mate wants you back," Merlin said. But he was doing a poor job covering up his smile.

"Of course," Arthur said with a grin. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Merlin -- I made a mistake, and I listened too closely to what my father was saying. Yes, I have responsibilities and tough choices I'm going to make with my life, but I still have to be my own man, and you showed me that. I may not have found my own way yet, but I'm trying."

Merlin took a moment to take that in. He sighed. "But you're still not coming out."

"No," Arthur said. "I -- not yet."

"Ever?"

"I don't know -- I hope so. But it depends on --" Timing. The band. The press. The industry. The country. The world. So many factors that made Arthur's head hurt when he thought of it, "-- how things go."

"Okay," Merlin said slowly.

"Okay?"

"Okay," Merlin confirmed with a nod. "That's how you're going to live your life -- but I will live mine as I see fit. And if you pull another stunt like this with me ever again, there will be no second chances, no forgiving--"

"Yes there would," Arthur interjected, "because you adore me."

"Arthur."

"But I won't, because -- I won't, Merlin. You have my word."

Merlin nodded. "All right, then."

"All right."

They stood for a moment in awkward silence, but smiling at each other. Arthur clapped his hand against the book and then hooked a thumb over his shoulder. "I should go. Leave you to your -- Gilli." God, that was hard to say.

"Right, of course," Merlin said. "But I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes, right." Arthur looked at Merlin and made a face. "What do you see in him, anyway?"

"Oh, no you don't. None of your business."

"Oh, come on, you can tell me."

"Let's just say -- he understands me in ways you'll never be able to."

"Try me," Arthur said, hating Merlin's answer.

"Too soon, Arthur," Merlin said quietly. "Talk to you later, okay?"

Arthur wasn't sure if that was _talk to you later about Gilli_ or just a general _talk to you later_. Either way, Arthur would take it. At least he had Merlin back.


	3. Step Three - It's Just You For Me

  


[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part3/4SmashHitsJanuary2003.png)

**Knights: Disbanded?**  
 _Smash Hits  
January, 2003 _

_It's been four years since The Knights' second smash album_ Banded _, which launched them into international success and made them a household name. They followed it up one year later with the quick release of their third album,_ Warriors _. That album got mixed reviews -- fans loved it, though most critics did not. They continued to tour, though the venues were smaller and the crowds not quite as large. Still, there was no denying their popularity, however waning._

_Fast forward to current day. It's been over two years since The Knights' last show, and there is no word on when any new music will be released. The most that has been announced was an unofficial hiatus after Lance du Lac's wedding, during which he was taking some time to settle into married life. That was over a year and a half ago. As far as anybody knows, The Knights haven't been working on anything at all since._

_What have they been doing, then? There doesn't seem to be any bid on solo success, which often accompanies a hiatus from a band of this sort._

_Gwaine Orkney is the closest to working on any original music of his own, but word is he only plays little coffee shops and open-mike nights. It's him on stage with his acoustic guitar with a sound so different from The Knights that any fans who happen upon these unannounced performances don't know what to make of it. The only reason he stays in any headlines is his personal antics in short-lived relationships with women _and_ men (and it's rumoured that Uther Pendragon is not very pleased with this at all and one reason why The Knights are not back in the recording studio). _

_As mentioned, Lance du Lac married his band mate Elyan's sister, Gwen Smith, who is a concert violinist. As for work, apparently he's been staying behind the scenes and working on producing demos for bands trying to make it themselves. As well, he occasionally works as a session drummer._

_Elyan Smith is trying his hand at acting, landing the title role in a small production of a modernised version of_ Othello _. Not only that, it's been announced that he and his wife, Mary (whom he surprised fans by marrying in 2000 after already being together several years) are expecting their first child. This may put The Knights on hiatus for even longer._

_And then there's the group's golden boy, Arthur Pendragon. Arguably the most talented and recognisable of the quartet, if anyone was to pursue a solo career, he is the most likely to be very successful. However, he's not currently performing, and is spending a lot of time under the close tutelage of his father, Uther Pendragon, learning the ins and outs of running Camelot Records. As for his personal life, he's still a notorious bachelor who is extremely private and hasn't been connected to seriously dating anyone in years._

_cont'd page 94_

**

Arthur pulled the red hood of his hoodie more snug around his head, so that the edges came far out and it was hard to see his face. His shoved his gloved hands in the pockets of his winter coat and hurried down the street, avoiding looking at people. It was already dark out, the winter night settling early, but there was an eerie glow as the lights shone through the mist. 

"Thanks for coming with," Arthur said to Percy, who was easily keeping stride next to him.

"No problem," Percy answered. "Haven't seen the wanker in a while, should be fun."

"Yeah," Arthur said, a thoughtful hum under his breath. He was a little worried about being recognised, but in all honesty, wandering around the streets of London wasn't quite the madhouse it had been a couple of years earlier. Still, it wasn't like he never got recognized; having Percy with him eased nervousness, and he'd been assigned as Arthur's constant bodyguard anyway. Arthur thought he was more recognisable _with_ the hulking man following him everywhere he went, but his father insisted.

They slipped into the little venue, and Arthur already didn't feel like he belonged. It was unlike anywhere _Arthur_ had ever performed -- it was small, dark, and smelled of coffee and incense. It had a number of small round tables with chairs that wobbled and slanted couches with worn cushions. Percy nodded to a table near the back and Arthur followed him to it. No one paid them any mind.

The timing Gwaine had emailed to Arthur was about right -- about ten minutes after Arthur and Percy had arrived there and settled with some coffee, the folk music playing on the overhead speakers cut short and a skinny awkward guy went up to the small stage in the corner. He pushed his glasses up on his nose.

He said simply, "A round of applause for Gwaine."

Arthur hadn't seen Gwaine there yet that evening, but somehow he'd appeared by the stage with his guitar in hand. He sat on the stool in front of the lone microphone, ran his hands through his shaggy hair, and then started to play and sing.

Arthur had heard him play dozens if not hundreds of times before. He often plucked at the strings during down time, or played covers that they all sang along to. Touring was a lot of hurry up and wait, depending what was going on, and Gwaine often used his guitar to pass the time. His guitar was never, ever part of The Knights act though, which Arthur always thought a shame. He knew that Gwaine was talented -- after all, that's how Arthur first met him, playing for passing crowds at the tube station.

But Arthur'd never seen him like this. Never with just him and his guitar in front of people with all the focus solely on him and only him.

Arthur watched, transfixed. The music was sort of wistful and longing, and the lyrics matched. They were odd but beautiful, really heartfelt, in a way that was hard to see on the surface of Gwaine but was so completely _him_ in an open, vulnerable way. It was odd to hear his voice without the back up of three others, but it was low and deep and stood out on its own. Arthur knew that Gwaine wrote this, wrote all of it, without any help from songwriters or producers or anybody. It was his own. Arthur was begrudgingly impressed.

After he was done a handful of songs, Gwaine leaned up to the mike and said thank you, and he got a smattering of respectful applause. There weren't very many people there, but Arthur's and Percy's applause was twice as loud as everyone else's combined. 

Gwaine stopped for a few minutes to speak to a couple people but when he broke away he headed right to the table where Arthur and Percy sat.

"You made it," he said, his smile bright.

"Of course," Arthur said. "You didn't invite the others?"

"Elyan's busy with his own show," Gwaine said with a shrug. "And Lance saw me last week."

Arthur sat tensely in his seat, and Gwaine rolled his eyes. "They're not avoiding you, wanker," Gwaine said with a laugh. "Believe it or not, not everybody's lives revolve around you."

"I know that," Arthur said. "If they did, we'd be recording right now, wouldn't we?"

Gwaine sighed but he didn't look angry. "Arthur, can we not?"

"I just don't understand," Arthur said. Before he came out that night, he had told himself that he wasn't going to get into this. Any time he and Gwaine talked about it, it became a stubborn battle of wills and they got nowhere but an argument. Arthur couldn't help himself, though, when he asked, "Don't you want to do music anymore?"

Gwaine gave him a stare that could level a house. He said flatly, "I am," and waved a hand around.

"Well, yes, but I meant recording, and putting on shows." Arthur looked around the coffee shop, which couldn't even be called a _venue_ , really. "Don't you want something more ... lucrative?"

Gwaine laughed, and it sounded genuine. "Perhaps you missed the last six years, but I'm more than secure in my finances, so I'm comfortable to be doing what I do now. It's not about the money, Arthur."

"Then what's it about?"

"Integrity," Gwaine said immediately. "I'm too old for doing the shit we used to do. I'm too old to have my life dictated to me." He looked evenly at Arthur. "And so are you."

"It's the business, you know how it is," Arthur said immediately. "Taking advisement, the politics, playing the press--"

Gwaine was shaking his head before Arthur even finished. "I do know how it is, and I know that it doesn't have to be. Not like that. I'm better than that. You're _far_ better than that, but you're not ready to break away from your father's control."

"It's business," Arthur said flatly.

"Well, I want no part of that kind of business. I told you that two years ago."

Gwaine did try to tell them that two years ago, when Camelot Records offered them the new contract. Gwaine surprised them all with conditions of his own, mostly with them getting to write their own music or at least contributing to it and getting to play instruments since they all could, and with the company having less of an iron hold on their image. Uther furiously refused it. Gwaine was basically but unofficially kicked out of the group. But the rest of them, instead of signing and replacing Gwaine, decided to take a hiatus until it was all worked out.

But it hadn't been worked out, and Arthur was starting to believe it would never be.

Gwaine said, "And I think we're all better off for it. Well, the rest of us, but maybe not you."

"I'm learning a lot," Arthur said immediately. "I like the business side of things."

Gwaine snorted. "Well, I hope you're learning to be a better businessman than your father."

Arthur stiffened and said warningly, "Gwaine."

"The thing is, I already know you are," Gwaine said. It wasn't placating or apologetic, that wasn't Gwaine's way. It was to the point and matter-of-fact. "And when you get the keys to the kingdom, maybe I'll reconsider."

"You'll be signed long before then," Arthur said. "How could you not be?"

"Oh, princess," Gwaine said, affectionately. "Your apologies are darling."

"Shut up, you arse," Arthur said, scowling. He shoved at Gwaine's shoulder. Gwaine laughed and very quickly and effectively put Arthur into a headlock, nearly toppling them over to the floor. Arthur pulled at Gwaine's forearms, could feel himself break out into a sweat and gasped, "Percy! Help me, for God's sake."

Percy took a sip of his coffee. "Don't believe I see anything wrong here."

Gwaine laughed but let go of his hold on Arthur. He gave a playful shove to his shoulder. "Hey, what're you doing next Thursday?"

"No plans yet, why?"

"I was thinking of going to catch Elyan's show. Wanna come?"

"We saw it opening night," Arthur pointed out, and then immediately said, "but of course I wanna come."

Gwaine smiled widely. "Good. It's a date."

Arthur rolled his eyes but grinned.

**

"Hello, Father," Arthur greeted as he walked into Uther Pendragon's large office. 

"Arthur," Uther said. He glanced up from his computer screen briefly before turning back to it, but gestured to the chair across him. "Have a seat."

Arthur strode across the room and sat down. His father punched at his keyboard a couple more moments and Arthur knew better than to try and interrupt. He sat patiently until his father addressed him. "How're you doing?"

"Pretty well," Arthur answered immediately. "I've spent quite a bit of time with Morgana this week, learning the ins and outs of public relations." Arthur decided to keep to himself some of the rather inappropriate things that Morgana had been muttering under her breath. It seemed that, while she was obligated to follow the policies of Camelot Records, she did not seem to agree with them any more. Arthur actually spent a lot of that time trying to reminder her of them.

"That's excellent," Uther said. He kept his face neutral as he added, "She said you did quite well."

What Arthur did, and would always be able to do, was be diplomatic when it came to the relationship between Morgana and Uther. He had no idea why Morgana was growing more rebellious with adulthood, he thought that sort of thing would be over now, but he had no doubt it would pass.

"I'm glad she thought so," Arthur said.

"Yes. Arthur, I don't have long before I need to be off to a meeting, but I did call you in here for a reason."

"Of course, Father."

"I'm very happy that you've taken such a keen interest in the company," Uther said. "I'm hoping that one day you'll be able to take over when necessary."

"I am too," Arthur said sincerely. Camelot Records had been his parents' dream, and Uther had done all he could to make it successful. Arthur wanted nothing more than to take that up.

"I'm glad," Uther said. He leaned forward, elbows on the desktop and fingers steepled before him. "But I want to know what you plan on doing about your singing career."

Arthur sat perfectly still, squashing down the nervous tremor that made him want to fidget under Uther's heavy gaze. Arthur took a moment before answering. "I think that depends a lot on the other guys."

"Arthur, your loyalty is admirable, but I think you need to realise what is best for you, and for Camelot Records."

"I don't know what you mean," Arthur said. Only he _did_ know what his father meant but wished he didn't.

"I think you know as well as I do that The Knights are, shall we say ... disbanded." Uther gave a little smile, as if he quite liked that pun that was penned by the press. However, Arthur did not.

"I know we're on a break, but we're just waiting for--"

"For what?" Uther cut in. "A fix to the contract that is never going to happen?"

"Father."

"No, Arthur. I'm sorry, but Camelot Records became as successful as is has for very specific reasons. I am not willing to bend on that, not on the fancy of some --" he waved his hand dismissively, and Arthur knew it was to encompass all that Gwaine was. "Besides," Uther added, "it's much too late now. There is nothing we can do to fix his behaviour during your hiatus. He can no longer be on the Camelot label."

"Father, what The Knights have? You don't get that all the time! It's -- it's like _magic_ \--"

"Enough," Uther said. He didn't yell it, but it was firm and final. Arthur winced; Uther got like this any time the word magic was mentioned, whether or not Arthur meant it as just a saying. "It is not magic. It is hard work and talent, and following our codes of conduct. Mr. Orkney no longer fits into the Camelot Records mold and I will not be discussing this any further."

Arthur's jaw hurt it was clenched so tight. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Then what do you want of me?"

Uther remained quiet for a moment, and then leaned back in his chair comfortably. "I will give credit to Mr. Orkney on one thing, and that is that at least he's trying to move on." At Arthur's surprised look, Uther chuckled. "Yes, Arthur, I'm well aware he's still out there playing ... music." He makes a face at that word, though, as if believing what Gwaine does wasn't actually music at all.

Arthur said thinly, "He is very talented."

"As are you. The most talented, actually, and I don't want you wasting that away. You should be out there singing, performing, as you were meant to do."

"Like Mother," Arthur threw out there. It was a gamble, something dangerous; Arthur never knew when a mention of his mother would set his father off.

Today, he only nodded. "She made hard decisions too but she never regretted them. And as we both wanted for you, her talent was passed on to you. Which is why, while you should be learning the family business, you should also be out there making your own way. Do not let your talent go to waste when it is something you truly want to do."

"I'm known for being a Knight. What makes you think I'll be able to make my way on my own?"

"Of course you can. You're Arthur Pendragon." Uther made a complicated gesture out the office window. "This is the perfect time for it. A lot of solo acts arising from former boy bands are doing very well right now. One of your own peers, even."

"He has a bad boy rep to trade in on," Arthur pointed out. "I do not."

"Well, that golden boy from the American group. The one who used to have fluffy hair?"

Arthur snorted. "I don't have a crazy, famous ex-girlfriend to sing about."

"No," Uther said, and his voice sounded as cool as ice. "You don't."

That was a very dangerous topic to bring up, even worse than trying to defend Gwaine and his musical talents. Arthur decided to sidestep it.

"I will consider it, Father," Arthur said. 

"Yes, do so," Uther said. "I already have some songwriters and producers working on a sound that will suit your voice accordingly, and should do well with the audience."

"Of course you do," Arthur said. It was light and polite, and sounded much more sarcastic in his own head. His father would not stand for that.

He excused himself and went to find Morgana to continue on their work.

**

Even after all these years, and with Merlin having two well-received novels in a series published with the third not too far away, he still lived in Gaius' basement. Whenever Merlin mentioned it, he said he didn't want to leave Gaius all on his own. Arthur thought it was sweet, if a little dependent; though, Merlin was more than happy to point out that Arthur still lived at home with his father, so Arthur didn't say that anymore. 

"Hey, Merlin!" Arthur called out as he made his way down the stairs. Merlin was expecting him, but he often had his two closest friends, Freya and Gilli, over as well. As much as Arthur had got to spend time with Merlin over the last couple of years, with his touring time being cut back so much, he still never really got particularly close to Merlin's other best friends. Not that he hadn't tried, but they didn't seem that willing to get close to him. Didn't mean that he wouldn't try to be polite when he could.

When he got downstairs, Arthur didn't immediately see Merlin. He made his way through the basement to that little back office, where Merlin was likely to be. The door wasn't shut all the way and he pushed it open. Merlin was staring at his computer screen and startled when Arthur opened the door. 

Merlin reached over and pressed a button on the little MP3 player that was sitting on his desk and pulled the big earphones off his head. "Hey, sorry, didn't hear you."

"Obviously," Arthur said. He came into the office and dropped himself down into the spare chair.

The office was rather dark, only a small lamp on the desk providing some dim lighting. Arthur had been in here a lot before, but he always looked around curiously, because there was sure to be something new or different. The room was cluttered, bookshelves crammed with books and other odds and ends. There were two large frames of the covers of Merlin's books on the walls, both presents from Arthur because he wouldn't think to get them for himself but they had a place of honour. There were post-it notes all over one wall and Arthur knew they had to do with Merlin's plot and story. Arthur also knew better than to try to read any of them, because Merlin got twitchy and upset over it. Didn't mean he didn't want to, though.

There were also pictures of The Knights from the 90s ripped out of teen magazines and tacked to a bulletin board. In retrospect, they were, quite frankly, rather embarrassing photos. But any time Arthur tried to take those ones down, more ridiculous ones would take their place and Merlin would give the biggest grin ever. Arthur pointedly ignored them now.

"I just need to save this," Merlin said, making a couple clicks with his mouse.

"What're you working on, anyway? Your series?"

"Sure," Merlin said vaguely.

"No you're not," Arthur said immediately. 

"How do you know?"

"You're shite at keeping secrets," Arthur said. "What are you working on?"

"I am working on it!" Merlin protested. Arthur just raised an eyebrow at him, and Merlin sighed. "Sorta. I mean. You know."

Arthur took a closer look at Merlin's desk, at the pile of books there with post-it notes sticking out of it, and pages clearly dog-eared. He read a spine out loud, "Screenplay Writing for Dummies," while Merlin tried to sweep them off the desk before Arthur could see. "Wait, what? You're … Merlin! You're trying to write a film!"

"Well, no," Merlin said reluctantly. "I'm trying to do an adaptation."

"Of what?"

Merlin gave him an _Are you kidding me?_ sort of look.

"Wait, are you trying to adapt _Kill, Gharrah_?" Arthur asked.

Merlin shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Maybe? Don't laugh!" he added on quickly. "Oh, god, don't laugh."

"Laugh? Why would I do that?" Arthur said while laughing but _not_ at Merlin, not like he was thinking. "Merlin, that's brilliant!"

"Yeah?" Merlin asked cautiously, but there was a grin tugging at his lips.

"Of course, it'll be amazing."

"I haven't even, like, been asked or anything. I just thought I'd have it ready in case I was approached because I would rather do it instead of leave it in someone else's hands," Merlin said quickly, a rush of uncertain words. "And maybe even if they don't, maybe I'll shop it around, see if I can get any studios to pick it up or something?"

"Yes," Arthur said. "That is a really good plan."

"Whatever. I don't want to talk about it anymore, it makes me feel stupid." Merlin said, rolling his eyes. He put the monitor on sleep and turned to Arthur grinning. "What's up?"

Arthur didn't want to leave the subject alone but he knew well enough by now not to push Merlin about his writing when he wasn't ready. Arthur understood that feeling all too well these days, feeling the same about music.

Arthur shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, not much."

Merlin looked like he was barely refraining from rolling his eyes again. "You texted me," Merlin said. "The other night. Nothing other than, 'Hi. Life sucks. Let's hang.' Something's wrong."

"I was drunk," Arthur said immediately. Which was partially true, he'd gone straight home and had a couple of nightcaps. Maybe he wasn't completely gone, but he wouldn't have texted that without a little help.

Probably.

Merlin didn't look like he believed that but was going to wait to pounce on it. "Fine, then. Let's have some tea." He stood up and walked out of the office, not even waiting for Arthur to reply. Of course Arthur wanted some tea.

Arthur went into the den, moving the Xbox controllers off the couch and carefully wrapping the cords around them as he tucked them away. Then he flopped down there and sprawled out while he waited. A few minutes later, Merlin came in and set a cup down on the table for Arthur, and then sat at the far end of the couch.

"Seriously, Arthur," Merlin said. "How was seeing Gwaine?"

Arthur's head came up off the cushion. "How'd you know?"

"He told me."

"I didn't realise you two were so close," Arthur said, barely able to keep the bitterness out of his voice. At Merlin's next words, he didn't think he did a very good job of that.

"Don't be an arse, you know he and I are friends. He likes to come out to the clubs with me."

"I'm know," Arthur said. "All of London -- at least those who read the trash mags -- knows." He still wasn't quite over seeing the article about how Gwaine Orkney, former boy band member, had been seen out at the clubs dancing with renowned openly gay fantasy writer, Merlin Emrys.

Arthur still wasn't sure what he was more angry over, the two of them out together, the way the paper implied they were a couple, or the fact that Gwaine was called a _former_ member of the group.

"You are not angry with me, or at that," Merlin said, nailing it right on the head like he tended to do. "Because you know nothing is going on. You're just angry about the whole Knights thing."

Arthur knew this was true. He thought about denying it, but Merlin would see right through that.

"We're over," Arthur said. It hurt him to say. "It's really over."

"It's not over," Merlin said softly. "Okay, maybe the boy band part is, but you're all still mates. And you're still a singer and performer. Why aren't you doing that?"

"My father has ideas about how it should go."

"So?"

"Merlin! You're the one who's always telling me to stand up to him."

"I don't see how denying something you love is standing up to him. In fact, it's worse."

"Ugh," Arthur grunted. "You're impossible. You're the one who told me to find my own way."

"I didn't tell you to give up music, you moron," Merlin said, laughing. "Tell your father what _your_ ideas are."

"I don't know that I have any, really," Arthur said, "other than just wanting to perform."

"Well, then," Merlin said. "You really do still have to go your own way. Now! Enough of this moping," he said more energetically, pushing Arthur's feet off the couch. "Halo time."

"Hell yes," Arthur said, and unravelled the controllers he'd just put away. He should've known better than that, anyway.

**

Merlin's words swirled in Arthur's minds for days, for weeks. Uther kept looking at Arthur expectantly, and even emailed him articles and reports about solo artists in a less than subtle fashion, though he didn't bring it up much further. And while Arthur seriously considered it, it almost felt selfish, like it would be less for Camelot Records and more for himself. He'd much rather work with the team as a whole, or at least _his_ team, and he didn't think anything would convince him otherwise. 

He was wrong.

One afternoon he rapped his knuckles against Gaius' door rapidly, and entered after hearing a muffled, "Come in."

"Hello, Gaius," Arthur said. He held up the interoffice envelope he came to deliver. Which wasn't his job, and he could've just left it in the drop box for the runner, but he was itching to get out of the office. He'd been spending more time behind a desk than he was used to and needed to stretch his legs.

"Arthur, hello," Gaius said. He had been standing at the window looking out over the city blocks, but he turned his head enough to catch Arthur's eyes in a greeting. "How're you today?"

"Not too bad," Arthur said, placing the envelope down on Gaius' desk. "I brought those clippings you asked for."

"Oh, thank you. I'll take a look and pass them on to Leon. He's quite sharp."

"I've said thank you, haven't I? For taking him on?" 

Arthur didn't mind pulling strings when he thought it was a good advantage for the company. Leon had a bright mind and was very loyal to Camelot Records. And while a brilliant bodyguard, Arthur knew he'd be a fine manager, and that learning under Gaius was the best. Agravaine hadn't been all that pleased, and Uther was generally amused by the prospect but already impressed enough that he approved the promotion to make him Gaius' assistant.

"It is working out very well," Gaius said with a smile. "You have a keen eye for talent of all kinds."

"Thanks," Arthur said, pleased.

"Do you know what today is?" Gaius asked, looking back out the window.

Arthur searched his mind, and thought back to his Outlook calendar he had perused that morning. Nothing stood out. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't."

Gaius' smiled. "It's Camelot Records' birthday."

"That's not until September," Arthur said instantly. He knew the date Camelot Records was incorporated, became a company. He'd been taught that since birth, he's pretty sure.

"Officially and legally, yes. But it takes months to make a company a real company," Gaius said. "The idea has to start somewhere. A seed planted before it sprouts and grows."

"Where did it start, then?" Arthur asked. This wasn't a story he could recall ever hearing before. The most he knew was that his parents came up with the idea and then they had a company.

"A Druid gathering in East London," Gaius said, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

Arthur could feel his entire body go still. It felt like there'd been a bucket of water poured down his throat and was coating his insides, making him cold and unmovable. He said stiffly, "I beg your pardon?"

Gaius looked at him, eyes a little sad and wistful. He said softly, "I understand why you don't know this story. Why nearly no one does."

"Surely you lie," Arthur said. "My parents have nothing to do with … _that_."

"Neither of them claimed to have magic, if that's what you're thinking," Gaius said. Which was exactly what Arthur was thinking, because almost anyone's mind would go straight to the ridiculous belief in magic, he's pretty sure. "But your mother particularly -- she believed in the Old Religion, celebrated it. And she loved the songs. Oh, how beautiful she sounded when she sang them."

"Gaius, you shouldn't be saying these things."

"Of course I shouldn't," Gaius said with a sigh. His shoulders seem more hunched over with age than they usually did. "Forgive me. Just an old man lost in his memories."

They remained quiet for a moment, Gaius standing there with his hands clasped behind his back, staring out the window. Arthur was tense and still, though his mind was whirling. Gaius didn't offer up anything else, but Arthur couldn't take the curiosity anymore.

"My father -- did he -- was he--" Arthur was so thrown off he wasn't even sure how to ask what he was thinking. Arthur had never heard anything about his parents having anything to go with Druidism or magic, not a word in print or from anyone he'd ever spoken to. It seemed so far-fetched, but he knew Gaius wouldn't lie. Would he?

"He fell into it because he fell in love," Gaius said quietly. "And when her beliefs couldn't save her, he fell out of it in a vicious way."

That -- that Arthur could actually believe. Uther Pendragon did not look favourably on the Old Religion and everyone knew that. And now Arthur knew a possible reason for it.

"And my mother?"

Gaius smiled. "Was kind and gentle and had talent beyond anyone I've ever met ... except possibly yourself. You received many of her gifts."

"And she believed in--" Arthur waved a hand around. He couldn't even make himself say it out loud.

"Druidism?" Gaius supplied. "I know you think it a backward religion, but really, it's quite peaceful."

"It has certain extreme beliefs," Arthur added.

"Yes. Magic," Gaius said, looking at Arthur thoughtfully.

Arthur nodded, as hard a belief as that was to grasp. "And … my mother?"

"She believed in a great many things," Gaius said. "She believed in your father, in the company, in the power of music ... and, yes, in the power of magic, too."

"A power that couldn't save her," Arthur said instantly, and was surprised by how harsh that sounded. He sounded exactly like his father.

"It is a sad thing what happened," Gaius said gently, "but death is an inevitable and unavoidable part of life, I'm sorry to say. A religion should not be blamed for it ... especially by those who don't even believe in it."

"I'm sorry, Gaius," Arthur said immediately. Which was just ridiculous, because like his father, Arthur didn't support the Old Religion and thought those who claimed magic was real were simpletons who didn't know better. He didn't know why he was apologising, except that he felt he should.

Gaius gave him a soft smile. "She believed in you too, you know."

"I wasn't even born yet," Arthur said. "She never even met me."

"No, but the moment she knew of you, she believed in you. And she'd be proud of what you've become."

It was hard to believe, in a way, that Gaius would say that of a woman who never got to see Arthur grow up. But Arthur knew that Gaius had been close to her, to both his parents, and that coming from Gaius -- well, it was the closest thing Arthur would get aside from his own father. 

"Thank you," Arthur said, holding the words and thoughts close to his heart. "I -- what do you think she'd want me to do now?"

Gaius looked at him, an eyebrow crooked assessing. Arthur knew he didn't have to elaborate; of course Gaius knew how much Uther wanted Arthur to continue on with a solo career. Gaius took a moment to think over his words.

"Aside from you and your father, singing is what she loved most. It made her endlessly happy. And I think that's all she'd want for you. To be happy in what you were doing." Gaius smiled. "She'd want you to make up your own mind as to what that was."

"Yes, I suppose," Arthur said, for lack of anything else to say. He nodded, mostly to himself, but then flashed Gaius a smile. "I should get back, and -- thank you, Gaius," he said sincerely. It had been hard to hear, but he was glad to have been able to. "I mean that."

"I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"No, don't be. I'm glad you did. It was very -- revealing."

"I'm sure," Gaius said. "I'm sure you have much to think about."

"Yes," Arthur said distractedly. He already was thinking about it. He wouldn't make a hasty decision, but ... yes. "I'll talk to you later, Gaius."

"Of course. Thank you for bringing by the numbers."

"No problem," Arthur said, and made his way out of the office.

**

For much of Arthur's life. he'd been rash and jumped headlong into decisions. But for much of his life, he'd always been sure and confident and it had always worked out. But his conversation with Gaius had made him feel like the rug had been pulled out from under him, made him feel off balance and like he didn't know where he stood. So he continued on at Camelot Records doing what he'd been doing, though the thoughts of it stayed in the back of his mind. 

One night, he and Merlin were sitting on Merlin's couch eating some takeaway and watching some X-Files DVDs that Merlin had purchased a couple of weeks before. It was incredibly geeky but Merlin had made Arthur watch all the seasons he'd been collecting thus far so there was no point in stopping now. 

"Merlin," Arthur said suddenly. "Do you mind if I use your computer?"

Merlin picked up the remote and, although it looked painstakingly difficult for him, put the episode on pause. "What?" he said flatly. "Right now?"

"I want to look something up."

Merlin sighed, quite put upon, but put down his plate and pushed himself up off the couch. "All right, then, but we better make this quick. I want to know what happens!"

"Mulder saves the day."

"Prat!" Merlin said, playfully hitting Arthur on the shoulder. "Can't believe you just _ruined_ it for me."

"Right," Arthur said dryly, following Merlin into his little office. "Because you haven't seen that episode half a dozen times already."

"You don't know that," Merlin said in a way that indicated that Arthur actually _did_ know that. He shook the mouse around and woke up the computer, signing into the internet account. "So, what're you looking for?"

Arthur paused, and realised that he hadn't actually meant for Merlin to be sitting here while he did this. But, this was Merlin's home and his computer and Arthur just sprang this on him, so. 

Arthur cleared his throat. "Um. I was wondering if I could do a search on, uh. My mum."

Merlin looked surprised. _Very_ surprised. "But what about your rule?"

Arthur had a rather strict personal rule -- never do internet searches on himself (which included The Knights), or his family. Sure, he followed some music magazine websites and other professional sites, but rarely did he actively search out anything. That was part of Morgana's job and even Gaius', to keep tabs on that; Merlin did too, in an unofficial way, but would sometimes grumble about things he'd read on fansites. It helped Arthur keep his sanity. The internet was rather nuts.

"Maybe just pictures," Arthur allowed. That would help him keep his sanity too. "I just -- I've been thinking about her."

Merlin asked gently, "Do you have pictures of her at home?"

"A few," Arthur answered. "It's not like I've never seen any or whatever. It's just ... hard, for my father. You know?"

"Sure," Merlin said. "I get that." 

In all the time that Arthur had known Merlin, Merlin had never offered up much on his own family. Sure, Arthur had met Hunith a few times, and Hunith adored him, but Merlin never said much about his own father, and there weren't any pictures of him about either. So, yes, Arthur knew Merlin could understand in a way why he didn't have many pictures of his mother around.

"And what about Agravaine?" Merlin asked. "Does he -- have you talked to him?"

"I don't want to talk to anyone," Arthur said, voice clipped. "I just want to look."

"All right, then." Merlin brought up Internet Explorer and typed in 'Ygraine Pendragon.' It did not take very long for pictures to come up at all, but there wasn't much of a variety. It wasn't like her popularity was in a time where her face could be splashed all over the internet; the precious few that were there were probably scans of old magazines or press photos of her. There were a couple of pictures of her and Uther, though the focus was on Uther.

"You look so much like her," Merlin said after a few minutes of clicking on pictures. Arthur knew he did, with blonde hair and blue eyes and fair skin.

"Yeah," Arthur said. He sighed. "I wish I could've seen a performance of hers." He had, in a way, grainy footage from the seventies, but nothing that felt at all real. It was like a dream. "She gave up performing and singing. When they started the company. A couple years before I was born."

Merlin kept clicking back through pages of pictures, but there were less and less of her and more probably from related articles or whatever. He stopped, though, and made a noise of interest in the back of his throat. With a click, he brought up a bigger picture.

Ygraine was standing in front of a microphone, singing. Her hands rested on the bump of her belly.

"That's me," Arthur said. His throat felt like it was closing up.

"It is," Merlin said, smiling at Arthur. "She looks really happy."

Arthur hummed under his breath. He was disappointed that there wasn't even so much as a caption with the picture; he had no idea why she was singing that day, on stage while pregnant, but she was glowing. She looked so alive.

Merlin said softly, "You see? She didn't give it up. In some way, she kept singing even while she was helping your father build the record company. You know what that means, right?"

"What?"

"You don't have to give it up either, if you don't want. You can help with the company and still sing. Do whatever _you_ want."

"I wonder if she'd want me to keep singing."

"I don't know," Merlin said carefully. "I can't speak for her, I can't have an opinion on that. But ... I know what makes you happy. I know when you sing, you look as happy as she does in this picture. And I think you're being a stubborn idiot for denying yourself that right now, just because you're not getting your own way."

"Not that you have an opinion or anything," Arthur said dryly.

"Oh, you know I have an opinion. You just don't want to hear it, I think. Lord knows why, I have brilliant opinions."

"Do you, now?" Arthur turned to face Merlin, and almost smashed right into Merlin's face, he was leaning in so close. His bright eyes were staring Arthur down.

"I do," Merlin said quietly. "I know you're a brilliant singer, and a brilliant man, and whatever you decide to do, it won't be wasted talent."

Arthur could do it. He could lean in just a fraction of an inch, and kiss Merlin. It had been a very, very long time, and he'd thought about it, and he would admit that he wanted it but only to himself. He couldn't actually do it. He couldn't do that to Merlin, not when he couldn't give him more, or give him what he deserved.

Arthur pulled away and shot Merlin a grin. He swore he could hear Merlin let out a disappointed huff but he tried his best to ignore it.

"You're such a fanboy," he said. He said the same any time Merlin went on like that, and Arthur desperately felt like he needed to settle into a comfort zone right then.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Yep, number one fan," he said dryly. He clicked the little X on the corner of the webpage and pressed the button to turn off the monitor. "Come on, we've got a show to finish." He stood up out of his computer chair and brushed past Arthur.

Arthur's hand snaked out before he even realised, and grabbed Merlin by the wrist. Merlin looked down at him, surprised, and Arthur lessened his hold but didn't let go completely. His thumb rubbed the inside of Merlin's wrist. "Thanks," he said. "For, you know."

Merlin's face softened. "No problem."

"Come on, then," Arthur said, letting go and standing up so quickly he nearly knocked Merlin over. "Let's go watch Mulder save the day. Again."

"You know, Scully is pretty awesome," Merlin said, following close behind.

"Well, yes, but she's the sidekick."

"No she's not! She's a partner. And what would be wrong with that anyway? All heroes need one or they'd be terribly lost! They'd fail _all the time_. Like us, for instance. You'd be buggered without me."

Arthur threw his arm around Merlin's neck and wrestled him down the couch, laughing. "Oh, you think so, do you!"

"Yes," Merlin said, muffled against Arthur's arm. He pushed Arthur off, but only because Arthur let him. He sat up straight, his hair sticking out every which way. "You're lost without me."

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur said, but didn't feel compelled to argue that any further.

**

Arthur walked into his father's office. Even though this was his _father_ , he'd been professional and called Uther's secretary and made himself an appointment and everything. Of course, he got in a lot faster than anyone else would have -- because there's no way that it would take anyone else only twenty minutes, except for maybe Gaius or Agravaine or maybe Morgana -- but still. He had a plan, and he was going to do it right.

"Hello, Arthur," his dad said when Arthur walked in. Uther looked terribly amused by it all. "Will you take a seat."

"Yes, thank you."

"I hope you're here with good news," Uther said.

"I think so, yes," Arthur said. "I'd like to talk to you about my putting out a solo album."

Uther's fist hit the desktop, but he looked very pleased. "It's about time you came to your senses, boy. I appreciate your previous concerns, but this is brilliant news. I knew you'd come around."

"Yes, Father, I'm glad you're happy with this decision, but there are still things to talk about."

"Like what?"

Arthur smiled. "I have a few conditions I'd like to discuss."

"Conditions?" Uther didn't sound angry, but he wasn't generally one who appreciated being questioned or told what to do. "You know how it went last time there were conditions."

"Yes, I do. But I think these are ones that you would be willing to accept -- or at the very least, consider."

Arthur held his breath, worried that his father was going to shoot him down right there, say no before he even heard what Arthur had to say.

But it seemed his gamble was worth it and paid off, and that what he hoped would happen did in fact happen.

Uther smiled, though a bit reserved Arthur could see the pride there. "All right, then," Uther said. "Let's hear it."

**

The door opened and Arthur was greeted by Lance's bright smile. "Arthur!" Lance said happily. "Hi, come on in, come on in." 

Arthur held out his hand to Lance and they did their little complicated handshake that they made up years ago on their first tour and still did every time they saw each other, no matter how much Merlin or Gwen rolled their eyes.

He'd only been to Lance and Gwen's new townhouse a couple of times, as it was a little out of the way. Lance usually travelled into the city center for work or when they met up. It was a modest but lovely home. Arthur toed off his shoes and slipped off his jacket, trailing after Lance to the living room. He paused and looked at the wedding photos on the wall. When he caught Lance watching him, they exchanged a soft, knowing smile. Whatever happened in the past -- and Arthur had thought more than once about asking -- well, none of that seemed to matter once Lance had met Gwen. She was his love, and Arthur couldn't be more pleased for his friend and his happiness.

"So, what brings you out here," Lance asked, leading Arthur into the living room. "No, wait ... can I get you anything to drink? Tea? Beer?"

"No, I'm all right, thanks," Arthur said, grinning. "And what makes you think I'm here for anything?"

Lance gave him a knowing look. "Because you hate coming out here if you don't have to? You'd just ask me to come in. Must be important to trek all the way to the slums."

"Slums, leave it out," Arthur said, shaking his head and smiling. "These are hardly the slums. Though, I suppose you could do with a nicer area. Squirreling away your cash, are you?"

"I might have some plans for it," Lance said as he sat in the chair across from the couch, where Arthur had plopped down. 

"Yes, I heard."

"Heard what, exactly?"

"The demos," Arthur said bluntly. Lance looked surprised at that. "The ones you helped produce? Oh, come off it, don't look so shocked. You knew I'd hear about it and get my hands on it somehow."

"Gwaine," Lance said, huffing a little chuckle as though he wasn't really _that_ surprised now that he thought about it.

"Nope," Arthur said. "Leon."

"Traitor," Lance said mildly.

"Nope," Arthur repeated with a grin that flashed his teeth. "Just extremely loyal to me."

"Hmm," Lance said, fingers scratching the underside of his chin. "Look, Arthur, you know I'm just trying to move on, figure stuff out. I love Camelot Records, and I love you, but I don't know how much longer I can sit around and just wait, you know? I don't want you to think I'm betraying you or something, but--"

Arthur cut him off. "It's okay, Lance, I get it. I do."

Lance tried to look accepting of that, but he betrayed that with his usual nervous tell of pressing his fingertips together while his fingers flexed back and forth. "If you're sure."

"I am."

"You know I would work with you in a heartbeat."

"Good," Arthur said. "Be a producer for me."

Lance paused and blinked. "What?"

"I've decided to record a solo album," Arthur said.

"Bloody fantastic!" Lance said with genuine enthusiasm. "That's so great to hear."

"Thanks," Arthur said, smiling brightly. "And I don't want to do it without my right hand man. Or my left hand man. Or my _other_ right and or left hand men. Whatever, you and Gwaine and Elyan can fight over it, I don't care, but I'm not doing it without you."

"I don't understand."

"Producing," Arthur repeated. "I want you to produce my album."

Lance's jaw dropped in shock. "I -- what -- I'm not even employed at Camelot Records like that."

"Not currently, no. But I've spoke to my father, and I told him I would only do this on certain conditions. I want to pick out my own songs, approve of lyrics I want, the mood and tone. All of it. I will work with whomever I want to come up with the concept. And I want _you_ there with me to help out."

"I don't know--"

"Oh, come on, Lance," Arthur said. He didn't beg, Arthur Pendragon did _not_ beg, but he wasn't going to let Lance get away without committing to it. "As I said, I heard those demos -- and my father has too--"

"Oh, Christ," Lance muttered.

"And we both agree, you would be a great producer. Or at least assisting? You were the one who paid the most attention to the soundboard when we were recording, you _love_ it, and you have such a talent for it. I mean, there will be some stipulations and Gaius will be the one to put final approval on it, but I will not take no for an answer, Lance. The contract will be drawn up and sent to you tomorrow."

"This is taking a big risk, Arthur," Lance said seriously. "My experience is limited at best."

"You know me, know what's best for me. You can do this. _We_ can do this."

Lance was quiet for a moment. "And what do the others think?"

"I haven't had the chance to talk to Elyan yet, that's next on my list," Arthur said. "But I saw Gwaine last night, and while he still refuses to record or sign onto the Camelot label for anything official, he says he's written a couple songs that don't quite fit for him but he'd be willing to sell."

"Gwaine Orkney, songwriter," Lance said, voice sounding awed. "Who would've thought?"

"Lance du Lac, producer," Arthur returned with a wide grin. "Has a nice ring, don't you think?"

Just then, the front door opened, and they could hear Gwen call out cheerily, "Honey, I'm home!" but like it was some inside couple's joke.

Lance's face relaxed into something incredibly soft and love struck. Arthur chuckled but then called back, "In here, sweet pea!"

A pause. "Arthur?"

Arthur jumped off the couch. "Do we ever have news for you!"

"Wait!" Lance said, mimicking the movement and grabbing Arthur's arm to stop him. "I get to be the one to tell my wife."

Arthur turned a sly smile on him. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

Lance sighed, but his eyes were crinkled in the corner from his smile. "Yes, Arthur, I'll work with you."

Arthur whooped and pulled Lance into a tight hug. They were interrupted by a less than subtle cough, and Arthur turned to see Gwen standing there with an eyebrow raised.

"Um," she started, "there's something you want to tell me?"

Arthur let out a laugh, light and practically giddy. "As it so happens, Guinevere, there is."

**

Recording was going very well. Lance, Gwaine, Elyan, along with Gaius, Leon and even Percy, all pulled together spectacularly. There was no problem getting studio time for Arthur to start right into it. It was all happening so fast, even faster than when Uther was determined for The Knights to start recording their first album. There were some things that Uther allowed Arthur -- like having his guys help him out -- but Uther was still taking the reins on most of it and wanted it released by the end of the year, which was a short and demanding schedule. 

Lance was the one around the most, the one that helped put the music together and make the wonderful sounds for Arthur to sing to. He even added the drumbeats in himself. Gwaine gave his songwriting as he promised, and even came onto Camelot premises, though he didn't record any instrument parts himself because he was still working on his own music too. Or, rather, Arthur thought that he was still determined to not officially record for Camelot, i.e. Uther Pendragon, yet.

Elyan was helping Arthur with piano parts. Arthur knew piano, of course, and he and Elyan had had the same teacher when they were younger. Elyan always excelled at it a little bit more, though Arthur had the stronger singing voice so he didn't mind all that much. And now it only helped.

They were sitting next to each other on the piano bench. A break had been called, but Arthur had scarffed down some food and returned to the sound booth, fingers idly moving over keys while he thought through the bridge of the song they were working on.

Elyan had followed him in and sat down next to him, his own fingers playing keys at random. They didn't speak at first and let their notes fill the air.

When Arthur's hands settled and the final note faded away, Arthur asked, "You're not giving up music forever, are you?"

Elyan snorted. "What does this look like? Don't think I'd be here if I was."

"No, I know. I just meant ..." Arthur trailed off as he searched his mind for words. He knew Elyan loved the guys and the group, loved performing, but he was finding a new way to do that. Arthur never questioned Elyan's loyalty or dedication before, but looking back on it, Arthur's not surprised that Elyan was the one branching out from music now, for he was the one who seemed most accepting that The Knights never got back into recording. He just hoped Elyan didn't disappear forever.

"I know what you mean," Elyan said, without Arthur having to spill all his thoughts, for which Arthur was very grateful. "I really like acting, but I'll never give up music for good, okay?"

Arthur heard _I'll never give up Camelot for good_ , and knew Elyan meant it.

The tension he didn't realise was sitting in his shoulders eased away, and Arthur finally looked at Elyan and smiled. "I know. I just -- yeah, I know."

"Good," Elyan said. His fingers tapped over a couple more keys. "This is going to be really brilliant, you know."

"Couldn't have done it without you guys," Arthur said immediately. It was the truth, one hundred percent, and he wasn't going to forget it. He wouldn't let anyone else forget it either.

"I don't know, I think you probably would've fared all right," Elyan said in a teasing tone. "Branching out on your own and all."

"Never on my own," Arthur said.

"Still, massive project you've got going on," Elyan said. "You'll be able to pull it off, though."

"Damn right," Arthur said. "I'm Arthur Pendragon. I'll come out on top."

"I'm pretty sure those are the first words you ever said to me," Elyan mused. "When we met at our first set of lessons and our instructor told us about the recital competition."

Arthur laughed, deep from the belly. "We were just kids then."

"And yet you already knew." Elyan shook his head. "You've always known you'd accomplish a lot."

"Well, if you ask me, at this stage of the game you've accomplished more." Elyan shot him a quizzical look. Arthur grinned. "You're the one with the biggest project on that go."

Elyan laughed loudly. "Did you just call my unborn child a project?"

"Yep," Arthur said with a grin.

"My wife might protest to that," Elyan said, but he couldn't hide his big sweet smile.

Arthur grinned but then it dropped into something more sincere. "I really am happy for you, you know," Arthur said. "I mean, you've been with her for so long, and now you're starting a family -- that's just --"

"That's just what?"

"Pretty amazing," Arthur said. "You're only two years older than me. I can't imagine settling down like you have."

It was no surprise of course ... maybe Elyan was wandering away from the Camelot Records fold, but he was extremely loyal to his loved ones. Arthur glanced up and looked Elyan in the eyes and -- and, yeah. He knew he had nothing to worry about in losing a friend.

"Can't you?" Elyan asked softly. "Not with anyone?"

"Nah," Arthur said, ignoring the implications in Elyan's voice. "Don't think it's on the cards for me."

"You never know," Elyan said. Then he grinned. "You can come over and babysit the little one for practice."

"Ha! As if you'd leave me alone with a baby for a moment."

"Well," Elyan said as he stood up and clapped a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "You could bring Merlin to help."

Elyan swiftly made his way out of the room. Arthur blinked in surprise, and Elyan was shutting the door after himself when Arthur got it together enough to yell out, "You're not at all subtle, you know!"

Arthur turned around to glare out the soundproof window and he saw Elyan, Lance, and Percy staring through, all with wide amused grins.

Arthur waved his middle finger at them, which only caused them to throw back their heads in laughter he couldn't hear. Finally, Lance leaned over and flipped on the little speaker and his voice came through. "You ready to go on, Arthur?"

"And by that," Percy said, "he means music because we all know you're otherwise emotionally incapable of telling--"

"Shut it," Arthur snapped at them, and they all just laughed again. He rolled his eyes and turned back to his piano. "Let's do this."

**

Arthur was walking up to the Pendragon residence, key ring twirling around his finger as he whistled the tune to the song he was pretty sure was going to be his first single. Lance had just finished putting the finishing touches on it that morning and Arthur, Lance, Leon, Gaius and Percy had the first listen. And it was amazing. 

God, Arthur felt _good_ right now.

So, naturally, something had to completely bung that up.

Morgana flew out of the door of the Pendragon home, black hair flying behind her as she hopped down the steps in fury. She wasn't paying attention and almost smacked right into Arthur.

"Whoa, there," Arthur said, hands coming to grab her slim shoulders. "Where's the fire?"

When Morgana looked up at him it was like she was shooting daggers from her eyes. Anger flashed there, deep and not unlike what he'd seen on her several times recently. This was different though -- usually, she was raging around the office. She didn't live at the Pendragon residence anymore, hadn't for years, and her visits had been rather infrequent as of late.

"Out of my way, Arthur," she said, trying to shove at him.

"Hey, hey," Arthur said, concerned. "What's wrong?"

"How can you -- that man is impossible -- I won't tolerate it anymore," she said viciously. But she took a deep breath and pulled her shoulders back. "I am no longer an employee of Camelot Records."

"What? What the hell not?"

She shook her head and sneered. "Ask your father, why don't you? See what pretty little lies he comes up with."

"Morgana," Arthur said. "Listen to yourself. That is my father -- and he raised you like his own."

This caused nothing but deep laughter from her, but it sounded empty, bitter. "Like his own, but not his own."

"Well, no, but--"

"Ask him," Morgana said. "Ask him about the real reason. See what he tells you. And then after he lies maybe I'll tell you the actual truth."

At that, she ducked out of his grip and easily brushed past him, evading him as he reached out again. 

"Morgana, wait!"

She only waved a dismissive hand over her shoulder and carried on down the drive, not paying him anymore mind. For a moment, Arthur was torn between chasing after her and going to find his father. Finding his father won out, because clearly Morgana wasn't ready to talk to him about whatever it was that was bothering her. Arthur had her number, knew where she lived, he could track her down after he got some more information and was better prepared to _get her back_ because Camelot Records without her was an impossible thought.

After letting himself back into the house and walking through the front foyer, Arthur called out. "Father? You here?"

"Arthur." It rang in deep from the left, and Arthur easily found his father in kitchen. He was leaning up against the worktop, and there was an open bottle of whiskey sitting there. Uther held tumbler with ice and a lot of the amber liquid in his hand but wasn't taking a sip from it.

"Would you care for one?" Uther said. Before Arthur could answer, he'd turned to the cupboard and pulled out another tumbler, getting ice and pouring some whiskey. Arthur took a stool at the island in the middle of the large kitchen and watched curiously. It was a little bit odd to have his father get him a drink like that; Uther didn't care whether or not Arthur drank, or had a drink with him, but it was rare for him to have his guard down like this.

"I saw Morgana as I came up to the house," Arthur said after he'd taken the first small sip of his drink. "She seemed rather ..."

"Infuriated?" Uther supplied. Arthur nodded. "Yes, she's quite angry with me right now."

"She said she's not working at Camelot anymore," Arthur said. "Why? I mean ... did she quit?"

"I didn't fire her," Uther said. "I wouldn't have, not Morgana. But she was being rather uncompromising on some things and it was her choice to walk away."

"Uncompromising on _what_?" Arthur couldn't think of a single thing that would lead Morgana to leave.

"Personal matters."

Arthur frowned. "That ... that should have nothing to do with work."

"That's what I said, but she insisted on some change and I couldn't give it to her."

"You're being vague," Arthur accused.

Uther's lip curled in a small grin, though it looked rather humourless. "I suppose I am. You mustn't trouble yourself with it, Arthur."

"But, Father--"

"No, Arthur. Leave it."

Arthur knew finality in his father's tone when he heard it, and so decided to leave it at that for a moment. But it wasn't like he'd forget, and he'd try to get his father at a better time. For now, he took another sip of his drink, but then slid the glass across the worktop from hand to hand and they stayed in an uncomfortable silence.

Uther was the first to speak. "The song?"

"Fantastic," Arthur said immediately. His smile was genuine. "Really, top notch. I'm glad you let Lance work on it, he did a superb job."

Uther's returned smile was faint, but real this time. "I'm glad to hear it. It was a bit of a risk, letting him."

Arthur ignored the urge to bristle at that, instead saying smoothly, "I know, and I appreciate it."

"Your mother would be proud, you know." 

Arthur glanced up sharply at that. His father hadn't mentioned her in a long time, a very long time. "I -- you think?"

"I do," Uther said. He got the wistful look on his face, when he was remembering her and it didn't hurt too much. "She loved singing and performing." He looked Arthur straight in the eyes, and this was clear and honest. "I'm very proud of all you've accomplished. You've grown into a good man."

Arthur's breath caught in his throat. He wasn't sure what had spurred this, or why his father thought he was worthy of such praise right then, but he willing accepted it. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "I'm honoured to hear that."

Uther sipped back the rest of his drink in one draught and put the empty glass on the counter. "You deserve it. Now, if you will excuse me, I have plenty of work to do before bed."

"Of course," Arthur said, and watched his father's back as he retreated to his office. 

Pride bloomed in Arthur's heart, and he'd never forget how he felt right then.

**

  


[ ](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part3/5TheGuardianMay2003.png)

  


**Camelot Records Founder and CEO passes away**  
 _The Guardian  
May, 2003_

_In sad news, it has been reported that founder, owner and CEO of Camelot Records, Uther Pendragon, passed away suddenly after suffering a heart attack on Sunday evening._

_Pendragon is survived by one son, pop sensation Arthur Pendragon. Arthur was a member of the popular boy band The Knights, signed onto his father's own label._

_There is no official word yet but sources say that Uther's entire estate, including ownership of Camelot Records, has been left to his son._

_The funeral will be held on Wednesday afternoon._

_Look in Wednesday's edition for a memorial article celebrating Uther Pendragon's many accomplishments._

**

Arthur knocked on the open door. "Mind if I come in?" 

Agravaine looked up from his desk and smiled, waving beckoning fingers. "Of course, of course. Come in, Arthur, you never have to ask."

It was weird for Arthur now to come into the CEO's office. It was no longer Uther Pendragon's. It'd been five months since his father's death, the pain of it starting to fade though he knew it would never to be completely gone. Life had gone on, though, and business did not wait, no matter how much Camelot Records, and Arthur, was missing its founder.

Agravaine was the acting CEO now. While Arthur had inherited everything from his father -- estate, company, position, everything -- Arthur had worked long hours with the lawyers and advisers. His father had it all sorted out long ago, even before Arthur came of age, so it had only been working out the fine details that it was reality rather than a plan put on a notarized document.

Camelot Records was Arthur's, would always be, but he was still young and on another path right now. And that, apparently, was okay.

Arthur hadn't believed that, not really, not at first. He wanted to do what was right, fill in his father's shoes, as big as they were. It had been his immediate reaction within the couple weeks after his father's death; give up singing and performing, and run the company he now owned. Despite what Agravaine said, what Gaius said, what all his friends and family and the lawyers and his father's will and the press (who seemed to think they had a right to an opinion when Arthur couldn't care less what they thought) said -- despite all that, Arthur was going to do it. He was going to give up on the solo album and move into his father's office and that would be that.

Merlin, though. Merlin was the one that reminded Arthur of who he was, and what his father really wanted for him.

It had been a few weeks after the funeral and the album recording put on hold after endless meetings, when he sat on Merlin's couch, exhausted and bone weary. He had leaned up against Merlin, and Merlin had idly carded his fingers through Arthur's hair. Merlin had said to him, in a quiet but supportive tone, "He wanted you to have your own life too, you know. He wanted so much for you to have that solo album. For all that he was and did, he'd want you to be happy with your career. I know you think you have a lot of responsibility right now, Arthur, but you don't have to carry it alone. We're all here for you."

It was exactly what everyone else had said and that he refused to listen to. But it was the way Merlin said it, or maybe because he wasn't trying to push or persuade but simply stated it and let it settle into Arthur to roll around in his tired mind and make his own decision.

And so Arthur had decided to go forward with his album and to name an acting CEO of his company. That in itself had been a difficult decision too, to figure out who could take on the task. There were many capable, experienced and knowledgeable people in the company. Gaius being the top of Arthur's list of candidates, there the whole time aside from his short retirement.

But Agravaine, though new to the company when Gaius had gone into that retirement … well, Agravaine was family. And there was something in Arthur that wanted to hold on to that, like a lifeline while uncertain waters surrounded him. He felt safe with Agravaine at the helm. Camelot Records was still in the family.

"You called and left me a message?" Arthur said as he came into the office and took a seat across from his uncle at the desk. He tried not to look around the office too much, to bring up too many memories. It was still the same office, same furniture and paint on the walls, same proud newspaper clippings framed on the wall. But it was different in a way too; the blinds always open for the number of potted plants to get light, and the smell the candles filling the air. It almost reminded Arthur of Merlin's basement, Gaius' office, or even Morgana's old one (but Arthur didn't try to think about that too much either). It felt completely opposite of when Uther was there. 

"First, I should say congratulations," Agravaine said with a smile. "Your single had such a strong opening this week."

Arthur couldn't help but smile at that. It was true -- for its first week, it had debuted really well. And after its second week, it was already at number five on the charts. It was predicted to get to number one in a week or two, and that the full-released album would debut at top of the charts as well.

It was bittersweet, in a way, given the timing. But something to look forward to, to help him move on. Arthur was happy, and he knew his father would have been too.

"Thank you," Arthur said. "I really appreciate all that you've been doing to help out."

Agravaine waved a hand. "Oh, Arthur, I'm happy to. I know it's been a tough time, but you're doing a really fantastic job."

"Thank you," he said softly. More confidently, he said, "As are you. I wouldn't be able to do this without you. You're making a great CEO."

"Thank you," Agravaine said with a smile and small chuckle. "I'm glad you think so." His face morphed into something a little more serious. "That is why I called you, actually. I'm looking for your support on an action I would like to take."

"Oh," Arthur said, mildly surprised. "You know I trust your judgment."

"I know, Arthur, I know. But this actually has to do with your career."

"Oh?" Arthur was curious now, but a little on the defensive. "My career is turning out just fine."

"Of course it is, of course it is," Agravaine said, holding his palms up defensively. "Better than ‘just fine', come on now, give yourself some credit. But, if you want to go international with this, be number one everywhere, you may have to make some changes. You're not some teen heartthrob anymore, Arthur. If you want to be a solo sensation, you'll have to do things differently now."

"How so?"

Agravaine paused for a moment, and then said carefully, "I think you need a new manager."

"No," Arthur said instantly. "Gaius is my manager."

"Gaius is very good at what he does," Agravaine said carefully. "But times are changing, and he is quite old fashioned."

"He has decades of experience, and gets the job done," Arthur said. "And Leon is his assistant and very knowledgeable and Gaius respects his opinion, so if Leon suggests something I know Gaius will take it into serious consideration. I have nothing but trust in what the two of them can accomplish for me."

"Yes, I know," Agravaine said. "I wouldn't want to put Gaius out of his job, but he might be suited for a better position on your team. Your personal assistant, perhaps?"

"Percy is my PA." And also Arthur's bodyguard, which was an excellent skill set to have, in Arthur's opinion. There was no way that Arthur would replace him now that he was perfectly trained for the position and was more than capable of handling the workload that bombarded Arthur on all fronts.

"Of course," Agravaine said with a nod. "It's just -- I think I have found someone much more suitable to be your manager. Someone who knows the business, is young and brilliant and knows you and your work, and can take you far."

Arthur paused for a moment, and then reluctantly said, "Who is this person? Do I know them?"

"Yes. It's Morgana," Agravaine said, no longer sugar coating it.

"No," Arthur said immediately, feeling his anger quickly rise to the surface. "How could you even suggest that? She will not come back to work for me or Camelot Records. She's made that very clear."

"Yes, I know. But I've been speaking with her about it recently."

"You have?" Arthur interrupted. That hurt, really. Arthur had reached out to her more than once since Uther's funeral, and there had been nothing but a brick wall there. And yet, apparently, she'd been speaking with Agravaine.

Agravaine nodded. "I have. I think we'd be able to work out a compromise suitable for you both."

"No," Arthur said again. "She abandoned Camelot Records without any notice. She just -- left!"

"Yes, I know," Agravaine said morosely. "And I'm sure she feels terrible for it, but she had her reasons."

"There is a no re-hire ban on her file," Arthur said. At Agravaine's raised eyebrow, Arthur nodded. "Yes, I read her file. I am within my rights as owner of this company. And it would be against my father's wishes to re-hire her. Especially like that. If she wants to come back to Camelot Records, she can talk to _me_ about it, and we'll work something out. And it will _not_ be as my manager. I already have one."

"Of course," Agravaine said graciously, and nodded his head. There was a displeased look in his eyes, though, but Arthur would not give in to it. Arthur would not bend on this decision. Not like this, anyway.

Arthur stood up. "Thank you for your advice," Arthur said, rather formally. "I do appreciate it. I have a meeting right away with Gaius so I really must get going."

"Don't let me keep you," Agravaine said lightly, waving a hand toward the door.

Arthur nodded and left, but his smile dropped as soon as he left the office. He stepped onto the lift and pressed a button, and scrubbed a hand over his tired face.

But the time he stepped back off the lift, he was perfectly composed and ready to move on with his day.

**

"What do you mean, you can't come?" Arthur asked in disbelief. 

Merlin winced at Arthur's words. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was that night. Like, the actual night?"

"When I say 'It's for Halloween', what other night did you think I was talking about?"

Arthur was going to have his first live performance of his single. It was for a Halloween show that MTV UK was putting on. Arthur had, of course, told Merlin about it over text message and Merlin had replied that he'd go, but now later that day and standing in the middle of Merlin's little kitchenette, he was declining.

"I thought it would be earlier in the week!" Merlin said. He avoided Arthur's eyes, and reached up to the little windowsill that was at ground level, barely letting in any light. He picked up the plotted plant and brought it down to run a bit of water into the pot. "Your album is released on Tuesday, not Friday."

"I know, but it's this big Halloween special they're doing," Arthur said, "you know, on actual Halloween night!"

"I know, I know, and I promise I will buy it first thing Tuesday morning," Merlin said, "but I can't come to see you perform on Friday."

"Don't be stupid, I'll get you a copy for free. In fact, I could get you a copy for free right now, a whole week early, and all you have to do is come see me sing. Deal?"

Merlin looked a cross between incredibly fond and incredibly exasperated. "I can't, Arthur, I already have plans. You'll just have to accept no for once."

"What plans are more important than me?"

Merlin gave Arthur a flat look. "Ones that I have every year for Halloween when you try to drag me out to some ridiculous costume party."

"How is hanging out with Gilli and Freya sitting in your basement watching cheesy horror movies from 1973 better than seeing me perform my first solo single? Oh, wait," Arthur said dryly, "it isn't."

"That's not fair," Merlin said, sounding sadly desperate. "It's tradition. It's important to me."

"So make that your Saturday Halloween plans!" Arthur said. He was trying to compromise but he might've sounded a tad bit on the whining side, he knew. Whatever, he wasn't above that right now, he wanted Merlin _there_ , with _him_. "Easy fix, you get the best of all worlds."

And in no way was he hurt every year when he didn't get an invite, and instead went off to fabulous costume parties with a bunch of famous people. Much better, clearly.

"Arthur," Merlin sighed wearily. "I'd be there, if I could, you know that. Besides, you don't need me there, you'll have hundreds if not thousands of other adoring fans going mad for you."

 _But I want you there_ , Arthur thought. He doesn't bother saying it, though.

"I don't think it counts if my number one fan isn't there," he said lightly. That, at least, got a grin out of Merlin. 

"Isn't your pack of knights going to be there? You'll have lots of support."

"Actually, no. The lads aren't going to be there. I mean, Leon and Percy and Gaius, sure, but not the others."

Merlin frowned. "How come?"

"We thought it would be better, you know? I mean, it's not The Knights performing. It's me, and so not to confuse or whatever..." Arthur waved a hand around. He had rather hated that decision, though everyone said it would be for the best. He believed that, he did, but it was still hard. He'd much rather have them there.

There must've been something in his face that betrayed that, because Merlin's went all soft and he truly seemed sorry. 

"I wish I could be there," Merlin offered. "I really do. I'm sorry, god, I'm such an awful friend--"

"You are," Arthur interrupted playfully. He threw an arm around Merlin's neck, causing him to squawk as he was pulled against Arthur's chest. Arthur ran his knuckles over Merlin's skull, ruffling up the already messy hair. "Guess you'll just have to make it up to me, won't you?"

"Get off," Merlin said, trying to grapple at Arthur's arm to free himself. "Damn -- Arthur -- come on!"

"Say uncle," Arthur said, not budging.

"No!"

"Say it!"

"Fine," Merlin huffed, and drew in a deep breath. " _Gaius_! Help!"

Arthur let go, but laughed. "Cheater!"

Merlin was red in the face but grinned widely. "Smart," he corrected. "I definitely won."

Arthur rolled his eyes and threw his arm around Merlin again and tugged him closer to his chest, but not putting him in a headlock this time.

"I really am sorry," Merlin said. "I'll make it up to you."

"I know," Arthur said. "Have a good Halloween, all right?"

"Yeah," Merlin said. He ducked out of Arthur's light hold. "Come on, superstar, we'll be late to meet Gwaine."

"Yeah, yeah," Arthur said, and trailed after Merlin. He pushed his disappointment down, because he knew Merlin felt bad and wanted to be there for him. Arthur was just going to have to accept that he was a lot more alone in the world than he used to be, and that would be fine. He could deal.

**

Performing his solo for the first time in front of fans was ... well, it was bloody brilliant, he could not deny. There were tons of fans crammed into that space, many girls but more guys than he was used to. He didn't need as much room as The Knights had, with no choreography and only one man singing instead of four, so he liked that the fans were all that much closer, making the space he performed in smaller. It felt less lonely. 

But it felt even less lonely when, halfway through the song, he spied where Gaius was standing off to the side.

Gaius and _Merlin_.

Merlin looked intent, and proud, and a million other things that nearly made Arthur stumble over his own words. He didn't, of course, he was a professional here, but that didn't stop his heart from hammering in his chest in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with performing on live television. He shot as quick a smile to Merlin as he could, and he knew by the way Merlin's face lit up that he caught it, but he then turned back to the crowd and kept on singing.

Arthur read in the paper the next morning that it was a stunning debut as a solo performer.

All he really remembered, though, was when he finally got Merlin alone for a moment. Merlin had streaks of makeup or paint or something on his face that hadn't washed off right but he was fucking _beaming_ at Arthur, like Arthur was the center of the universe. Merlin had told Arthur he was so proud and so happy and Arthur was just _amazing_ and he was so glad he was able to end his plans early and make it.

Arthur had pulled him into a hug, close with the smell of fire pit smoke drifting off Merlin's body.

It had been a perfect night.

**

[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part3/2phoenixtrack.png)[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part3/3phoenix.png)

**Arthur Pendragon's solo album _Phoenix_  
Track list:**  


1\. You Drive Me Crazy (remix) // 2. Battle Torn // 3. Greedy  
4\. Charming // 5. Future's Glimpse  
6\. Not who you say (Not who you are)  
7\. For Family // 8. I'm Courage  
9\. Love Renewed // 10. Queen of Hearts  
11\. Hidden Talents // 12. The Coming of Arthur  
13\. And Again

  


[ ](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part3/6RollingStoneweb.png)

  


**rollingstone.com/albums/musicreviews**  
 _November 18, 2003_

_**Arthur Pendragon**  
3.5 out of 5 stars  
Phoenix _ Camelot Records __

_The title of Arthur Pendragon's first solo album may indicate he feels he's rising out of the ashes, given that he apparently took The Knights no longer recording rather hard, not to mention the death of his father earlier this year. Maybe that's the case, but it honestly feels as though it is about a rebirth of sound and lyrics. Gone are the electronic pop beats and cheesy lyrics, instead replaced with soulful sounds and heartfelt poetry. The first single, Future's Glimpse, blazed across the charts, understandably so. While still in the pop genre, it's a refreshing take on … more >>_

**

"Where are we going?" Merlin asked curiously as he followed Arthur down the pavement. "What's this surprise? I know you're going away on tour soon, but you don't have to do anything for me." 

"Just wait," Arthur interrupted, knowing Merlin would likely blather on if left unchecked. Arthur's red hood was pulled up against the chilly November air and prying eyes, and he knew that Percy was following at a relatively close distance behind them too. "I'll tell you when we get there."

Finally, they stopped in front of an older building, a little cinema shoved between a pub and a clothing store. It was a late Wednesday morning, but before the noon hour, and the sign on the building said it would be closed all day.

Merlin said, puzzled, "It's closed, Arthur," as he pointed needlessly to the sign.

"To the public, perhaps," Arthur said.

"Oh, what, and you think you're special or something?" Merlin asked, amused.

Percy answered from behind them, "Always."

Arthur mock-glared at him while Merlin laughed and said, "Of course."

"We can take it from here, Percy," Arthur said loftily. At Percy's hard stare, Arthur broke into a grin. "No, really, we'll be fine. You don't need to hang about." For the love of god, Arthur really didn't want him to hang about. This day was planned for Merlin, and the last thing Arthur wanted was a chaperone, as much as he thought Percy a friend. "Go to the gym, take a nap, grab some coffee. We'll see you in," he fished his phone out of his pocket glanced at the time, "approximately six hours."

Merlin snorted. "Six hours? What movie could possibly take that long ..." He trailed off and his eyes went wide. "You didn't."

Arthur grinned wide. He patted Percy on the arm. "Later, mate," he said. He grabbed Merlin by the elbow and opened up the front door to the cinema which was, oh would you look at that, miraculously open. When they stepped into the lobby, there was an employee standing at the concession stand.

"Hello, Mr. Pendragon," he said, all smiles in his greeting. "I see you and your guest have arrived. If you'd like some get some snacks, we're ready to show the first film whenever you are."

" _First_ film," Merlin said in wonder, and then started poking Arthur in the ribs. "Arthur, come on, come on just _say_ it. You couldn't have, you didn't, did you? I mean, you wouldn't think to--"

"Rent an entire cinema for the day so we could re-watch the first two _Lord of the Rings_ films on the big screen before the third one comes out, no I wouldn't think to do something that thoughtful."

"Arthur!" Merlin said, so high-pitched it was very nearly a squeal.

"Be careful, Merlin," Arthur said with a teasing warning, "you're dangerously close to sounding like one of my many legions of fan girls."

"I don't care!" Merlin said, and he laughed giddily. "Lord of the Rings! On the big screen!"

Arthur rolled his eyes as Merlin dragged him to the concession stand. "Yeah," he muttered, "because you didn't drag me to the first ones four times. Each."

If Merlin heard that, he ignored it in favour of getting the biggest tub of popcorn he could. They also got some sodas and licorice and sweets and chocolate bars. They made their way into the empty theatre they were shown to and sat down right in the middle. They propped their feet up on the chairs in front of them without having to worry about being told off for it.

With no one else there, Merlin and Arthur were able to talk through the film, as if they were at home sitting on Merlin's couch and watching it on the telly. Merlin still waved his arms excitedly, quoted back lines, and went into detail about what was different from the book and the movie and all the characters. He'd done it before, when he made Arthur watch them, but Arthur didn't mind. He liked it, and had read the books in the time since Merlin dragged him along to the first showing of the first movie, so he had something to contribute too.

They were sat back in their chairs next to each other, the movie falling on a quieter moment, when Arthur saw Merlin looking at _him_ instead of the screen with a weird private little smile.

"What?" Arthur asked.

Merlin shrugged. "I don't know. I'm still surprised you like this, to be honest."

"What's not to like?" Arthur said. "Fights and swords and princes who would be king."

"Wizards and elves," Merlin countered. "Magic."

Arthur snorted. "It's fictional, Merlin. Your books have that stuff too."

"Yeah," Merlin said slowly. "But what if ..." He trailed off.

"What if what?" Arthur asked, eyes back on the screen while Frodo approached Galadriel. "What if it was real?" He laughed. "Don't tell me you believe that, Merlin. I know you grew up in a small village but I never expected you to be..." He trailed off too, waving a hand absently.

When Merlin didn't say anything back, Arthur turned to him again. Merlin's lips were pursed in a thin line and, and light from the screen flickered in his eyes and cast shadows against his skin, making him look as oddly fey as the elf queen showing the possible future of destruction.

"What?" Arthur asked, frowning. "Are you okay?"

"Just feel a bit off, is all."

"Oh. Too many sweets?" Arthur asked. "We can go, you know. I mean. If you don't want to stay, that's fine." He tried to keep from showing how crushed he would be if that happened, he really thought Merlin would enjoy his plans.

Something must've shown on his face, though, because Merlin's softened. "No, of course not. We're not leaving until we watch it all."

Arthur melted with relief, leaning toward Merlin a bit. "Okay, good. I mean. I'm sorry I can't be there when the third one opens to go with you." He was going to be on a short pre-Christmas tour, and would miss opening day. It was their tradition, but Merlin seemed willing to forgive him. Though he'd already said he would be dragging Gwaine or Lance or Gilli or Freya, but probably all of them, to the midnight show. Still. "I hope this makes up for it."

"I can wait," Merlin said. "It opens only a few days before you're home. I can wait 'till you're back."

"Yeah?" Arthur asked, pleased that Merlin would wait on his darling movie for him. "That would be … I would like that." He and Merlin were terribly close to each other now, their voices low in the theatre, and if Arthur leaned forward but a little bit ...

They both startled apart when the elf queen started yelling about being terrible and powerful, eyes blazing and hair glowing. They both chuckled as the weirdly tense moment was broken, and then settled back in their seats again. 

When the queen calmed down enough, Merlin leaned over and said into Arthur's ear, "In case I don't thank you for this later a billion times ... thank you."

Arthur kept watching the screen but he smiled. "You're welcome," he said, feeling heat rise at the back of his neck. "Now, be quiet and stop interrupting the movie."

Merlin settled back for all of three minutes before he started to spew more Tolkien facts, but Arthur didn't stop him.

**

After a quick break and powering through the second movie, Arthur and Merlin finally tumbled out of the theatre. The sky had already started to go dark and Percy was loitering about waiting for them. 

"How was it?" Percy asked vaguely. Arthur didn't know if he meant the films or Arthur's awesomeness of treating Merlin to this, but either way, Merlin responded very enthusiastically with arms waving and mouth going a million miles a minute. When he finally stopped for a breath, Percy turned to Arthur and said, "Good, then?

"Very," Arthur answered with a smile. To Merlin he said, "Where to now?"

"What, there's more?" Merlin answered. 

Arthur shrugged. "Nothing planned, but if you want."

As if on cue, Merlin's stomach rumbled. Merlin laughed and patted it. "Honestly, I could do with some food."

"Some food!" Arthur exclaimed. "As if you didn't just clean out the concession."

Merlin groaned. "Ugh, no I mean real food. Food that isn't going to clog all my arteries."

"That rules out stopping at McDonald's, then," Percy said dryly. 

He barely concealed his smirk when Arthur went on a rant ... not about the food, but about the current advertising and a particular pop star who represented them.

"My new rival, Perce!" Arthur complained. "How could you ... no, we can't go there ... on _principle_ for Christ's sake."

"Arthur," Merlin said fondly, placing a hand on Arthur's arm, which placated him well enough. "So we won't go for fast food. Of any kind."

"No, we won't," Arthur said haughtily. He added, "Let's just go back to mine. I have to eat the rest of the food in my fridge before I go on tour anyway."

After being dropped off at Arthur's place -- it was still hard for him to think of it like that, it had always been his _father's_ house but now it was his -- Merlin and Arthur set about getting dinner ready. There wasn't all that much in the fridge, but they put together a simple light meal of a vegetable stir fry and finished drinking up the milk.

"That was surprisingly good," Arthur said, rinsing off the dish and putting it in the dishwasher. 

"Hey," Merlin said mildly, handing Arthur a plate. "I know how to cook."

"I know," Arthur said. "It just always surprised me."

Merlin shrugged. "My mum taught me how. She worked a lot so I cooked dinner after school often."

Arthur knew this, it was a tidbit of information he learned over the years, but he didn't bother saying anything. Merlin's life had been so different than his own for so long, and he liked hearing about it.

When he didn't reply, Merlin said fondly, "Look, I know I already said this, and saying it too much is going to go straight to your oversized head--"

"Hey!"

"-- but, _thank you_ ," Merlin finished with a grin. "For today. It was ... well, it was perfect."

Arthur wasn't really affronted by the insult, and that praise only made his insides squirm happily. Still, he wasn't sure if he should show just how happy he was with it. "Of course it was. I planned it."

Merlin snorted. "And, there we go, straight to the head."

"I was kidding," Arthur said. "But I'm glad you had a good day." He paused for a moment, and couldn't help but ask, "So, perfect, eh?"

"Yeah," Merlin said, smile soft. "Practically perfect. Don't you think so?"

"Yes," Arthur said. He dropped his voice a bit, made it come out sounding like one of the many interviewers he'd spoken to in his lifetime. "Would you, Merlin Emrys, have described that as your perfect date?"

Merlin's eyes crinkled in the corners. "Well, yes," he said, returning with the tone of one being interviewed, "out of all the memories of pseudo-dates I've been on, I'd say that tops the list."

"Pseudo-dates?" Arthur asked. "Go on many of those?"

"Only with you," Merlin said, dropping the act, but he was smiling. "I'm not sure anyone I've dated has been able to pull off perfect days quite like you."

Arthur didn't really like listening to stories about Merlin dating -- he wasn't an idiot, he knew that Merlin did and Arthur certainly couldn't and wouldn't stop him, that wasn't fair. It wasn't as if Arthur had lived completely celibate either, though he'd been incredibly discreet. No one had ever made him feel the way Merlin did even right now, though, standing in his kitchen with a goofy grin on his face.

"Aren't you going to ask me?" Arthur said.

"Ask you what?"

"If that was my perfect date?"

Merlin laughed. "Sitting through six hours of Lord of the Rings and then me cooking? No, I know that it's not."

"How do you know? Do you actually know what my idea of a perfect date is?"

Merlin paused for a moment, tilting his head to the side as he thought about it. "No, I suppose not," Merlin said. He grinned and Arthur could see the recognition passing across his face, of that day they first met. "You've never elaborated on that, have you?"

"I think, honestly, I didn't know until today," Arthur said. He leaned his hip against the worktop, right next to where Merlin was leaning his back against it. "I think it just hit me."

"Oh, and you're going to tell me?" Merlin said. 

"Sure," Arthur said. "You're the one who helped me figure it out."

"How did I do that?" Merlin asked. He turned a little to face Arthur and, again, they were so close. Merlin's eyes were wandering, shifting nervously with how close they were, flickering from where Arthur's arms were crossed to his mouth to his eyes and then over his shoulder. Merlin frowned. "Arthur."

"My idea of a perfect date," Arthur said, "would be doing something the person -- the man," he clarified, and maybe he wouldn't say that to the press but he could say that to Merlin, "thought was a perfect date. Making it perfect for them."

"Arthur," Merlin said, sounding a little desperate, and swallowed. He glanced down at his feet, not meeting Arthur's gaze. "Don't. Don't do this if you don't mean it."

"I do, though," Arthur said. He uncrossed his arms, placing his hands on Merlin's hips, trying to angle him towards Arthur. Merlin's breath shuddered, but he turned a little. "You know how I feel, right? How can you not?"

Merlin froze in place, his entire body tense and he wasn't giving in to Arthur's touches anymore. "I know that you told me no. More than once."

"A long time ago," Arthur said, "when I was young and stupid and didn't know better."

"Why now?" Merlin said.

"I realised something," Arthur said. "Recently, and after ... everything that's happened." Losing his father, being cut off from Morgana. "If I lost you, I wouldn't be able to deal with it."

"You won't," Merlin said instantly. "You know you won't. I've been here since I've known you. I've been here when you didn't deserve it, even."

Arthur snorted. "Don't I know it. But, still, if I lost you to another man--"

"That's just it," Merlin said, "even if I was dating someone else, I'm still here."

"I don't want you dating anyone else," Arthur said.

"Oh, I get it," Merlin said flatly, taking a step back. "You're just leading me on so I don't date anyone else and then you don't have to worry about it. It's a jealousy thing."

"No," Arthur snapped, hating hearing that. His hands were still on Merlin's hips and he would not let go. "It's not a jealousy thing, it's a love thing, you moron."

Merlin paused, stopped trying to move away. "It's -- what?"

"You heard me," Arthur said. "No, I don't want you with other guys, but it's because I want you with me."

"You -- do?"

Arthur nodded. "There's just -- it's just --"

"What, Arthur," Merlin said, his voice softer and sounding a lot more welcoming than it had the minute before.

"I can't be with you the way you deserve," Arthur said, and he hated that his voice sounded so small. But he'd thought about this thoroughly, and that part did not change, no matter how he approached it. "It's not -- right now really is not the right time. I wouldn't be able to go public with it, and I know you hate that, I do, but--"

"Okay," Merlin interrupted.

"But I know it's not fair but -- what?" Arthur asked when his rant caught up with his brain. "You -- what?"

"Okay," Merlin said softly, and he stepped in closer. He lost his defensive stance and his arms came down, hands settling on the side of Arthur's ribs. "I can do this the way you need."

"Are you sure?"

Merlin nodded. "I just want to be with you. Like, _be_ with you. And if this is the only way we can right now, then okay."

Arthur could feel the nervous tension draining from his body. But he still wasn't sure about making much more of a move, not until they sorted this out, because this was one thing Arthur did not want to screw up.

Arthur said, "So, basically, we'll still hang out like we're just mates--"

"-- as we've always done--"

"And I'll go off on tour and we'll talk on the phone and email--"

"-- as we've always done--"

"And I'll refuse to talk about my personal life with the press--"

"-- as you've always done--"

"And you'll wait for me to get back home--"

Merlin voice was softer, more fond, "As I've always done."

"And then we'll start that cycle over and still hang out."

Merlin smiled. "Yes, as we've always done."

Arthur smirked, and asked a question he already knew the answer to. "And so how is this different in any way?"

"Exclusivity," Merlin said immediately. "Also, sex."

"Right," Arthur said, and his hands slipped around to Merlin's back, pulling him closer. "We should get on that before I go on tour. Preferably right now."

"My thoughts exactly," Merlin breathed out.

So Arthur leaned in and kissed him.

He remembered their first kiss, all those years ago in the men's toilets at some German club, the music thumping against the walls and thrumming up through the floor and into their feet. Everything had been so fast and desperate then, inexperienced teenaged hands grappling at each other, lips and tongues sloppy and eager.

It was so different now in the quiet of Arthur's home, but he could feel his heart beating as if some electronic bass was urging on its rapid pounding. Their kiss was steady and skilled, mouths curious but confidently exploring the other. Merlin's lips were soft and tasted like the sauce from the stir-fry, and his fingertips pressed against Arthur's shirt, rubbing the loose material. Arthur's hand dipped down, grabbing Merlin's arse cheek while pulling him close, the other hand steady on the back of his neck to hold him in place. 

Arthur really had no idea how long they stood there in the middle of the kitchen snogging, Arthur's back pressed against the worktop as Merlin pushed flush up against him. Could've been a couple minutes, or half an hour, or an hour, he wasn't sure and he didn't really care. He could go on like this forever. He got lost in kissing Merlin, really kissing and getting to know his mouth, how to make him sigh heavily when Arthur's tongue lightly teased his, or the breathless little moan that escaped when Arthur's nipped at Merlin's bottom lip. 

It was when Merlin rolled his hips, the bulge in the front of his jeans rubbing up against Arthur's that Arthur gasped; his hands were under Merlin's shirt, and his blunt fingertips pressed into the soft skin over his spine. 

"Oh, do that again," Merlin said breathlessly, and shoved his face against Arthur's neck, sucking on warm skin.

Arthur tilted his head back. "What? Do what--" He choked out a moan when Merlin moved his hips against Arthur's again.

"That, the sound of you, when I do that," Merlin said. He pulled away, enough to look Arthur right in the face. His cheeks were bright red -- his entire face was, and down his neck too, disappearing under the collar of his shirt. "Love that. Best sound."

"I promise you, I can make a lot more better sounds," Arthur said, pressing a soft kiss to Merlin's mouth.

Merlin backed away, though his hands were unwilling to give up contact with Arthur's body. He ran them down Arthur's arm and then took one hand in his, tugging on him. "Okay, upstairs, now."

"That's a bit presumptuous, don't you think?" Arthur said, but let himself be pulled along. "Assuming we're just going to sleep together on the first date."

"Like hell this was our first date."

"You're right, it wasn't even officially that. I'm putting out on our first pseudo-date. What kind of man will you think I am?"

Merlin paused in spot and turned around. "The kind of man who is all noble and stupid and who waits six years to let me kiss him again, that's the kind. Believe me, in no way whatsoever do I think you're a slag."

"You say the nicest things," Arthur said.

"Come _on_ ," Merlin said. "Upstairs, upstairs, let's go."

"Demanding thing, aren't you?" Arthur observed but quickly followed up the stairs.

The moment they were in Arthur's bedroom, Merlin pulled his own shirt off over his head.

"Hey," Arthur protested mildly while pulling his shirt off too, "I wanted to do that."

"Next time," Merlin said. "Promise."

With that, he launched himself into Arthur's arms, bare skin against bare skin. Arthur's hands moved everywhere, trying to feel as much as he could, while fielding the assault of kisses Merlin was aiming at him. 

"I want to blow you," Arthur said against Merlin's mouth. "I've wanted to blow you since that day at the club. I wanted to then, too."

Merlin groaned and slapped Arthur's shoulder. "Then why the bloody hell didn't you!"

Arthur wrinkled his nose. "Do you remember that floor? No way was I getting down on my knees--"

"Oh, god, spoiled brat," Merlin said, and his hands on Arthur's shoulders pressed down. "Your house is immaculate, so down you go. Get to it, yeah?"

Arthur resisted, and instead pointed. "There's a bed _right there_."

"Oh, man," Merlin said, but he backed up across the room, his fingers undoing his belt and fly as he went. There was a seductive swagger to his steps, and Arthur watched hungrily as Merlin pushed his jeans down over his hips. "We're going to have to work on your spontaneity, aren't we?"

"If it gets you doing that," Arthur said as he stepped forward, "then yes. A lot. We should do spontaneous things all the time."

"In the comfort of your own home," Merlin said, but he didn't sound pissed about it. He threw himself onto the bed, landing on his back as he tried kicking off the jeans that were tangled around his ankles. "Come on, help a guy out here!"

Arthur laughed, but came forward and grabbed the jeans that were hanging in the air off Merlin's feet. He threw them somewhere behind him, then stopped at his bedside table to pull out lube and condoms, throwing them down onto the bedcovers. He then kneeled down on the bed beside Merlin. Leaning over him, he smiled. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," Merlin replied, hands beginning to run lightly over Arthur's chest. "God, you're fit. And waxed, huh?"

"Yeah," Arthur said, making a face. He rubbed a hand over his chest too, feeling the little bit of stubble that was growing in. "Photoshoot."

Merlin made an interested noise, not at all upset or jealous about it. Just understanding. "Be sure to email me a link."

Arthur snorted. But then he leaned down and started kissing across Merlin's chest, which was definitely not waxed or shaved but not super hairy either. Just perfect, really. "Why would I do that?" Arthur asked against warm skin. "When you have the real deal right here?"

Merlin gasped as Arthur lightly sucked on one of his nipples. "Okay, good point," Merlin said. He remained pretty still while Arthur's mouth and hand mapped his torso, committing it to memory. He started to squirm, though, and breathed out, "Arthur, come _on_. I thought you had something you wanted to do here."

"There is plenty I want to do here," Arthur said, but he relented. He pushed Merlin's boxers down over his hips, lips quickly following and planting kisses on Merlin's knee, the inside of his knee, on his ankle. The boxers quickly joined the jeans on the far side of the room. 

Merlin laid there in the bed, naked and glorious, legs sprawled out as he gave his hard cock a pull.

"Hey, don't," Arthur said, batting his hand away. "I wanna."

"Jesus, spoiled," Merlin repeated, but brought his hands to pillow behind his head. "Aren't you going to take your clothes off?"

"Maybe," Arthur said absently. Merlin made a sound like he was going to protest, but that quickly changed into a gasp when Arthur leaned down and nosed against his hip while taking his cock in hand. 

"Oh, _God_."

"Hmm, just Arthur," Arthur said, and Merlin chuckled. 

"You're so cheesy," Merlin said, his hand coming down to rest lightly on Arthur's head and play with his hair. 

Arthur wasted no time in rolling a condom over Merlin's cock, then leaning in and licking a stripe up the underside of it, tip of his tongue trailing over the vein and then licking at that sensitive spot right on the underside below the head. Merlin groaned, his hand tightening its grip on Arthur's hair. Arthur smiled.

Arthur proceeded to take his time getting rather acquainted with Merlin's dick. He licked it, then took just the head into his mouth to suck, then sank down on it as far as he could. He had one hand around the base of it, jacking slowly, while his other hand was pressing down on Merlin's hip to keep him from moving too much. It was an awkward angle that made the muscles in his arms and shoulders burn and it was bloody _fantastic_.

"Come on, Arthur," Merlin finally murmured, pushing on Arthur's shoulders. Arthur popped off Merlin's cock with a sucking noise. Merlin looked positively wrecked, cheeks red and eyes dark as they stared down at Arthur. "Get those trousers off," he said. "I want to suck you too."

"I'm busy here," Arthur grumbled half-heartedly, but he was actually more than happy to get his trousers off as they'd become tighter across in the front. He pushed them, along with his briefs, all the way down and kicked them off the end of the bed. He kneeled up and faced Merlin, who was staring at Arthur's cock hungrily.

"Jesus," he said, "I want my mouth on you now."

"Problem," Arthur said, "I want my mouth back on you."

Merlin was quick to scramble onto his knees. "Unless you're a prude, which I doubt because I _know_ where your secret stash of porn is--"

"Hey! That's private."

"Not anymore," Merlin said, "especially when we start going through my fantasy list."

"Wait," Arthur said as Merlin started to mouth at his shoulder. "Fantasy list?"

"Like you don't have one," Merlin said into his skin. Arthur made a non-committal noise, although yeah, he sure did. Merlin stopped kissing him and pushed at him again. "Just lie down. I'll fix us up right."

Arthur wasn't even going to argue with that, given the way Merlin's voice sounded. And thirty seconds later, when they were all settled in a reverse position and Merlin had put a condom on Arthur and then they began eagerly sucking each other's cocks, Arthur was glad to have gone with that instinct.

He hadn't done this position before, and he hadn't ever thought about how hard it would be to concentrate. But Merlin's mouth on him was warm and perfect, one of his hands squeezing at his thigh while the other held his cock steady. Arthur tried to emulate the same, but every time Merlin moaned around his cock, Arthur's hips stuttered and he lost his own pace.

Merlin started doing this fabulous thing where his wrist twisted just so as it moved up to meet his mouth, and Arthur could only focus on that. He moaned, and he stopped bobbing his head with half of Merlin's cock still in his mouth. Merlin did it again, and while Arthur didn't move he just hallowed his cheeks and sucked as hard as he could.

Merlin pulled off Arthur's cock and groaned. "Oh, god, Arthur, that -- do that again, keep going, fuck." Merlin pressed his face into Arthur's thigh as Arthur continued to suck and lick, and Merlin's fingers squeezing Arthur's arse was all the warning he get before he shuddered and came, trying to press his cock as far into Arthur's mouth as he could. Arthur pulled back enough before Merlin could choke him, but stroked him through his orgasm.

"That was good, god that was so good," Merlin said, breathing heavily. "Arthur, Arthur, yes--hey," Merlin said and Arthur could practically hear his scowl on his voice as Arthur's hips bucked forward and pressed his crotch against Merlin's face, hard dick slick with spit rubbing across his cheek. "Impatient bastard, oh my god."

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur said, pinching the soft skin on the inside of his thigh, "and suck me already."

There appeared to be some grumbling under Merlin's breath but Arthur didn't take it seriously, and then totally forgot about it when Merlin graciously took him back in. Merlin seemed determined though, and sucked Arthur's cock with fervor and it was so bloody fantastic that Arthur didn't last long at all, coming in the condom but deep in Merlin's mouth.

"That was amazing," Arthur said, rolling onto his back. He reached down and tugged off the condom, tying it up and flinging it toward the bin by the dresser. It said a lot about how good he was feeling that he didn't care that he missed, nor did he comment when Merlin did the same.

Arthur's arm flopped over his eyes as he tried to catch his breath.

Merlin shifted around and pushed at Arthur's arm so he could look down at him. He looked positively debauched as he grinned slyly. "Hell yeah, that was awesome."

"Next time," Arthur said, "I want to come all over your face."

"Arthur Pendragon!" Merlin exclaimed, though he was laughing. "That's dirty. _You're_ dirty, how did I not know this?"

"Hey, apparently you've seen my porn, you know I am. Aside from that … teenaged impression from a ten minutes snog in the loo?" Arthur guessed, barely holding back a yawn as tiredness started to overtake him.

"Twenty minutes," Merlin said. "And, you know, if you had hooked up with me back then, we'd be ready to go again in ten minutes." He flopped down beside Arthur. "And now we'll have to wait to fuck."

"It's not like we're old men, Merlin, we'll be ready soon enough," Arthur said, rolling his eyes. He rolled over and threw an arm across Merlin's chest and a leg over his legs, pinning him down to the bed. Merlin didn't seem to mind. "If we'd messed around back then even more than we did, we wouldn't be _here_ right now, I know it, because we were young and daft and we would've bunged it up and that would've sucked. I'm glad we're doing this now, for the record."

"What does it say about us that I understood that perfectly?"

"That our afterglows are on the same wavelength," Arthur said. "Now shut the hell up and nap so we can fuck all the sooner."

Merlin grinned and settled against Arthur's side. "Deal."

**

Later, they both woke up at practically the same time, as if there was a pull that connected them. They were so desperate for each other that Arthur fucked Merlin hard and rough; Merlin arched his back and pressed his hands against the headboard so his head didn't go slamming into it as Arthur held Merlin's legs out and wide when he nearly bent him in half, driving into him over and over. Merlin egged him on through it, voice low and rough and dirty, wanting it just the way Arthur gave it to him. They crumpled down onto the sheets, wet with sweat and curled around each other, not even caring. 

They woke up again in the dim grey dawn, and this time was more tired and sleepy. They exchanged lazy, drowsy kisses and rubbed off on each other, and Arthur's orgasm hit him so suddenly that he trembled in Merlin's arms for what felt like long, glorious hours.

Finally, they woke up late into the morning, and Arthur was glad that he had the day off work, a brief reprieve before he went on tour. Merlin had a meeting in the afternoon, something to do with his script though he was being rather secretive about it.

"Oh, come on," Arthur said as they were in the shower together. His hands were lathered and moving all over Merlin's slippery skin. "Tell me."

"There's absolutely nothing to tell yet," Merlin said vaguely, and moaned softly as Arthur's hand slipped over an undoubtedly sore and sensitive place. "Careful."

"Sorry," Arthur said, hand moving up to scrub over his spine.

"Never, ever apologise for that," Merlin said. He craned his neck around and stole a kiss. "Last night was bloody fantastic."

Arthur grinned, his arms coming around Merlin's body and smoothing over his chest. "Agreed."

Merlin twisted around so he was facing Arthur. He asked softly, "You're still okay with this?"

"Yes," Arthur said immediately. "Absolutely. I want this. I want _you_."

Merlin did a poor job covering up his smile, but he still said tentatively, "You do realise there's a risk?"

"Of what?"

"Of you being outed," Merlin said. "I mean, I absolutely understand that we're going to keep this under wraps, I know what I'm getting into here, but … yeah, there _is_ a risk it's going to be found out. You know that, right?"

"I know it," Arthur said with a nod. He kissed Merlin solidly. "You're the one for me, so. Worth the risk."

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear that," Merlin said, and his arms squeezed Arthur as if they were afraid he'd change his mind and run away.

Arthur squeezed back, anchoring them together. "And I'm sorry for that, I am. I'll make it up to you."

"I know," Merlin said, and kissed Arthur like he was the only person in the world. Arthur returned the kiss, trying to convey the exact same thing, and prayed that Merlin knew, really knew, that was how he felt.


	4. Step Four - I Can Give You More

  


[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part4/2kinglycover.png)[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part4/3kinglytrack.png)

_Arthur Pendragon: Kingly_  
Release: August, 2005

1\. Veil between worlds// 2. Darkest Hour  
3\. Wicked // 4. Special Treasure // 5. Kingly  
6\. Two Masters // 7. Secret Sharer  
8\. Weak for her // 9. Return // 10. A New Age  
11\. The Hunter's Heart // 12. Escape  
13\. Rightful

**

[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part4/4GQ1.png) [](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part4/5GQ2.png)

**Arthur Pendragon: UK's Golden Boy**  
 _GQ  
January, 2006_

_Arthur Pendragon has done it again with the release of his second solo album,_ Kingly _. Nearly two years after his first album, he broke his previous record's sales. The first two singles,_ Kingly _and_ Rightful _were within the Top 50 songs played on iTunes in 2005, and also leaders in download sales. The album was released last summer and Pendragon has been on tour near constantly since._

_GQ had the opportunity to sit down for a few minutes before a concert in Rome in mid-December, 2005._

_**GQ:** Arthur, the Grammy Award nominations were announced at the end of November and _ Kingly _was nominated for two of them. These are your first nominations. How're you feeling about that?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Oh, it's brilliant. I'm so grateful for the fan support and how well the album has been doing, and to have the industry show it recognition in this way is such an honour. I'm really looking forward to attending._

_**GQ:** The awards are held in February, and you don't have any tour dates set for then -- is your tour on hold purposefully for the award season?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Oh, no, there was no plan for it, honestly. I'm touring up until right before the holiday, but had already planned on taking January and at least part of February off before a new leg of the world tour. I've been going hard for a couple of months, I'm ready for a break!_

_**GQ:** A much deserved one. Along the lines of awards, The BRIT award nominations are out in mid-January… do you think you'll receive some nominations for those?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Oh, I really couldn't say and I don't want to jinx it. Of course, that would be an honour as well, but we'll have to see how it goes._

_**GQ:** Do you stay in touch with the other members of The Knights?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Oh, yes, we're all still very close mates. Elyan is in London, and has a small part in a movie coming up, and that's just thrilling for him. I make sure to visit him and his beautiful family whenever I'm in town. Lance still does producing for the Camelot Records label, including _ Kingly _. Gwaine is signed onto the Camelot Records label now, and his album is to be released soon. Lance produced for him as well. His sound is very different than mine, and I'm really excited for everyone to hear it._

_**GQ:** Yes, actually, I was looking at Gwaine's MySpace page just the other day and heard a snippet of one song.  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** [laughs] He loves MySpace! And it's really great that he can put a preview out like that there._

_**GQ:** What do you think about the rise in internet media sites such as that?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** I don't have a MySpace, but I do have a website, and I think it's really good for the industry, making yourself accessible to fans. Same with YouTube. I mean, there are pros and cons to all of it, especially with the business end of it -- copyright issues, or illegal downloading -- but overall I think it can be a really useful tool._

_**GQ:** Speaking of business, I did want to ask about Camelot Records. You own it, but you're not currently the CEO.  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** No, I'm not. It's a lot, to try to juggle recording and performing and tours, and running a company as large and successful as Camelot Records. I do work very closely with the CEO, Gaius, who I've known for a long time, and I know everything that's going on with the company at all times. Gaius is really brilliant and knows what he's doing, I have complete trust in him._

_**GQ:** Gaius took over after your uncle, Agravaine, left the company, correct?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Yes, he did._

_**GQ:** How do you feel about Agravaine teaming up with Morgana le Fey to start their own company?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** They're both very talented and know the business inside and out, I'm sure they'll be successful. I wish them nothing but the best._

_**GQ:** Is that so? Considering that Morgana le Fey is claiming to be your half-sister, and is suing you for half of your father's estate, including Camelot Records.  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** I really can not speak about that at this current time._

_**GQ:** All right then. Would you be willing to speak about your dating life?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** There's not a lot I can say about that either._

_**GQ:** Really? There are often rumours of you being involved in a relationship with Merlin Emrys, a successful novelist and screenplay writer.  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Yes, those rumours have been going on for quite some time, haven't they? People are always quite concerned about my personal life._

_**GQ:** A lot of fans are, certainly. And I know you're a private person when it comes personal relationships, but do you wish to comment on those rumours? Do they have any truth?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Well, Merlin is Gaius' nephew, actually, and has been a friend of the family for a long time. I've known Merlin for years. We're best mates, and it's not like I'm going to deny that I care about him, because I do. And Merlin is openly gay, and I know what people are trying to imply because I spend so much time with him. People will read into it what they will, but not everyone does. A lot of people seem to be calling it … what is it, ‘bromance'?_

_**GQ:** That's a term very in vogue right now, yes.  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Yeah, and I'm okay with that._

**

Arthur slammed the magazine closed before and threw it onto the coffee table. 

"So," Merlin said from behind his cup of tea. "How was it?"

They were sat on the couch in the living room late one January morning a few days into the new year. Arthur was incredibly happy to have some down time and be off tour, to be able to curl up in his own bed with Merlin at his side until they forced themselves up for the day to have lazy mornings pretending the outside world didn't exist.

The unfortunate thing was that it did, in fact, exist and it certainly didn't forget that Arthur was a superstar. 

"Ugh," Arthur said, making a displeased noise. He slumped over and stretched out on the couch, using Merlin's legs as the boniest pillow ever. Merlin hummed and held out his mug so it wasn't over Arthur's head. Arthur scowled. "Awful. That was an awful interview."

"It happened three weeks ago, it's not like you didn't know what it was going to say," Merlin said as he leaned over Arthur and tried to grab at the magazine. He slapped Arthur's arm lightly when Arthur reached out and pushed it further away. "Hey! I want to read."

"Forget it," Arthur said. "It's the same thing that's everywhere."

"Grammys, Morgana, and me?" Merlin wagered a guess. "Oh, wait, and maybe even Agravaine."

Arthur growled under his breath. He kept completely civil when questioned about it in public, but he was with Merlin now, so it was fine to show his annoyance. Merlin knew exactly how upset Arthur was over the whole thing, how Agravaine tried to take the company out from underneath him, and when he was discovered, he slunk off to ally with Morgana. When Arthur asked him why, why he would do such a thing to his own _nephew_ , all Agravaine said was that Camelot Records belonged to the de Bois' as much as it did the Pendragons. Arthur knew that Agravaine loved and missed his sister, Arthur's mother, but he had no idea he'd carried that much animosity for Uther, and Arthur, for so long. Arthur had been blind to it, and the betrayal still stung.

"Yes," Arthur said sullenly. "I'm not sure why everyone cares so much."

"Because you're Arthur Pendragon," Merlin said, setting his mug of tea down on the table. He let his hand fall to rest on Arthur's head. "Everyone wants a piece."

"Ridiculous," Arthur said.

Merlin huffed, which … well, which was fair, really. Arthur knew what he was getting into, and he might've lived in the industry his entire life, but nothing quite prepared him for this now that it hit him. It wasn't like he hadn't been popular, when he was with The Knights -- they'd been worldwide sensations too -- but it was different now that he was older, on his own, and with all the focus on only him. It was a reality, the way everyone wanted to _know_ about him. 

It seemed even more real now that it felt like he had something so important to lose. He wanted his career, yes, but he wanted his privacy with Merlin too.

"It's all that tosser's fault," Arthur declared. He shifted so that he was on his back, looking up. He waved a finger at the ceiling, nearly hitting Merlin in the face. "That one who keeps trying to out me."

"To be fair," Merlin said, "he tries to out everybody."

"There's nothing fair about that," Arthur said. "It's dishonourable. And he should mind his own bloody business."

"I don't think that's the point of his blog," Merlin said. Then he brightened. "But, hey, at least he's excited for the film."

"Yes, yes, he worships the ground you and your brilliant book and your amazing screenplay full of gay magic walk upon," Arthur said.

"Who wouldn't worship that, really?"

Arthur snorted. "And for whatever reason, he seems to think you and I are randy for each other."

"Gee," Merlin said, looking down and pushing some hair off of Arthur's forehead. "Why ever would he think that? Oh, wait, we are."

"But we are publically discreet."

"I think that's an oxymoron."

"Merlin," Arthur said, sitting up and scowling. "This is serious."

Merlin sighed and pulled his legs up onto the couch, folded in so that his arms wrapped around them and he rested his head on his knees, wide eyes watching Arthur cautiously.

Crap. That wasn't a good sign.

Arthur sighed and leaned back against the couch. "I only want them to leave us alone. Things have been going well, right?"

"Of course they have," Merlin said.

And Arthur truly believed that. They had nearly two years of relative peace and quiet, supporting each other and enjoying each other, all out of the public eye. But things had changed in recent months -- his album hitting it so big, legal troubles with Morgana, Merlin's film being greenlighted and nearing post-production, and his book sales skyrocketing because of it. People were noticing that Merlin was always _there_ with Arthur. Which he always had been, really, but Merlin was getting more attention in his own right, which was amazing for him, but they were having a tough time juggling it now. Or, at least, Arthur was.

"You know what will make this easier," Merlin continued. "Don't pretend that you don't."

"I can't do that," Arthur said. "We've talked about this. You know that I can't."

"Would it be so horrible?" Merlin asked. His voice was low and it sounded like his feelings were very hurt by what he was implying. "For people to know about it? About us."

Arthur knew different; knew _Merlin_. "Manipulative bastard doesn't suit you," Arthur said.

Merlin huffed and rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said flatly. "But closeted entertainer doesn't suit _you_."

"That's not what it is," Arthur said. "You know that. I want to be with you -- I _am_ with you, but I'm leaving the rest of the world out of it. They could go fuck themselves, for all I care."

"But you do care," Merlin said. "You really do."

"Is it so hard to believe," Arthur said quietly, "that I just want things to be normal?"

"Nothing about you has ever been normal."

"There's been you -- oh, no, wait, you're right. Nothing."

Merlin was trying to hold back a smile, Arthur _knew_ it. Arthur let a grin spread across his face, fun but seductive, and slid his hand up under the hem of Merlin's ridiculous joggers, fingers rubbing at his ankle. Merlin wiggled his toes against the underside of Arthur's arm, but he sighed.

"You're not willing to renegotiate?" Merlin asked.

Arthur tugged on his leg to get him to come closer. Thankfully, Merlin didn't resist. "It's not the right time," Arthur said.

"It's never going to be the right time," Merlin answered as he swung his leg over Arthur and settled down on his lap. "I've been talking to Leon--"

" _What_?" Arthur said, his hands stilling from where they were travelling up Merlin's thighs. "Why were you talking to Leon?"

"Because he's your manager."

"Right, _my_ manager."

"And I'm your partner," Merlin said, matter-of-fact, and goddamn if Arthur's heart didn't flutter like every time he heard Merlin say that, "and Leon knows if you need some convincing about something that it's best to also include me and my miraculous efforts."

With that, Merlin leaned down and kissed along Arthur's jaw, and then sucked his earlobe into his mouth, worrying it between his teeth. Arthur's fingernails dug down into Merlin's thigh.

"Not fair," Arthur murmured against his cheek. "Conspiring with my manager and using my weak spots against me."

Merlin chuckled lowly into Arthur's ear, and a shiver travelled up Arthur's spine. "Is it working?"

"No," Arthur said. "Though, please, feel free to continue trying to convince me." He shifted in spot and Merlin slid even closer to him.

However, instead of taking advantage of that, Merlin pulled away and sighed. "Just -- think about it. Talk to Leon, he has a really good plan."

"Of course he does," Arthur said. "Do you just want it because it'll be easier than what we've been doing?"

"You arse," Merlin said, getting up off Arthur completely. "I want it because it's what's right. Not just for us, but for--" he waved his hand around "-- _everything_. People like us. The world."

And just like every other time Merlin spoke like that, something gripped at Arthur's chest, squirmed down in his stomach, knowing that Merlin was right, maybe, but all Arthur could hear in his head was his father's voice telling him it was wrong for his career.

Merlin picked up his cup and the magazine, and headed out of the living room. "Come on," he called over his shoulder. "We'll be late, and Elyan and Mary are waiting for their babysitters."

Arthur scrubbed a hand over his face. "Yeah, all right," he called back, pushing himself up. At least Merlin wasn't telling him to stay home, but he knew this would be continued later. He wasn't particularly looking forward to it, but wasn't sure if it was because he was afraid of disappointing Merlin or himself.

**

A week later, Arthur won the court case against Morgana. It was over, finally, and he should be happy about it. Instead, it made him feel tired, and like there was a little hollow spot inside him. He knew his father would be proud of the win but Arthur didn't like what it represented at all. Morgana left the room before he did without sparing a glance at him, though he wasn't sure what he'd say anyway. 

"Congratulations, sir," said one of the lawyers -- the younger one, George, was it?

"Oh, no, thank you," Arthur said, plastering on as charming a smile as he could. Frankly, he was just glad this whole mess was behind him. "Thank you for your hard work."

"Oh, it was nothing," George said, waving a hand through the air. "Anything for Arthur Pendragon, really."

"Yes, thank you," Arthur said again, and he tried to stealthily make his escape. He just wanted out of the law buildings, and done with this case, and just _away_. He wanted to go home, where Merlin would be waiting for him.

"Perhaps a celebratory lunch?" George offered. "On me."

"Oh, no, I'm sorry, I have other pressing business to attend," Arthur said solemnly.

"Of course you do, of course you do," George said hastily. "Please don't let me keep you."

"Right. See you later, then," Arthur said over his shoulder as he began to make his way out. He had already sent a text to Percy, who should be waiting for him near the back doors. He was hoping to miss any of the press who might be lurking about, and they had thought it would be the best way.

And so it was with great surprise that he found Morgana doing the same thing. She was finding a more subtle exit while followed by a beautiful blonde woman -- Arthur recognised her from all those years ago. It was Morgause, who had been let go from Camelot Records and then took them to court.

"Arthur," Morgana said, a curl to her lip. "Have you met my friend, Morgause?"

"A long time ago," Arthur said. "Hello, Morgause."

She kept her face blank and stony, but nodded. "Arthur."

"Fancy meeting you here," Morgana said. "I thought you would've wanted to be out front, telling anyone who'd hear about your expected win."

"And here I thought you'd be out there telling everyone how wronged you were. You do seem rather chipper," Arthur said, "for having just lost your case."

Both women smiled then, which just seemed _odd_ given that Morgana had _lost_. 

"Oh, Arthur," Morgana said sweetly. "It never was about winning. I wanted to, of course, but I've long been aware that it was quite the long shot."

"Then why bother?" Arthur said, huffing with exasperation. "This was a waste of time and money for both of us."

It was Morgause who answered. "No matter what your father may have taught you, the Pendragons are not infallible."

"I'm living proof of that," Morgana pointed out. "Uther's dark little secret that he refused to acknowledge. Maybe he wouldn't but now it's out there. Everyone knows. _And_ ," Morgana added when Arthur tried to interrupt, "I really do deserve half of what was his."

Arthur shook his head. "He's gone, Morgana. Who exactly are you trying to stick it to? Teach a lesson to?"

"You, perhaps," Morgana said with a careless shrug. "You're trying to fill his shoes in every way, aren't you? You can clean up his messes too. Besides, it's not like you're living without your own secrets, are you?"

Arthur stilled, his gaze sharp. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, your life is an open book, is it?" With an innocent smile, she asked, "How's Merlin?"

"Back off," Arthur said. "He has nothing to do with any of this."

"Doesn't he?" Morgana asked. "You're just like our father, with your dirty little secrets."

"That is not what it is," Arthur said. "And if you dare try to bring him into this--"

"Do not worry," Morgause said, and put a calming hand onto Morgana's shoulder. They exchanged a complicated glance, but it looked enough like Morgana relented. Morgause continued, "We will not try to harm Emrys. He's ... useful."

"What does that mean?" Arthur snapped.

"Sorry, Arthur," Morgana said, "but we really must be going. Ta for now." With that, she turned on her heels and stalked off.

"Wait!" Arthur called after her. But Morgause only paused and turned to look at Arthur.

"You do have a chance to be much better than he ever was," she said. "And do not worry about your friend, he'll be left out of it. For now. But you should consider him more seriously."

"What does that mean?" he asked, but she turned and followed Morgana, ignoring him completely. "Wait, come on!"

He heard called out, "Arthur!" Arthur saw that Percy was approaching him, looking as annoyed as he ever got, which wasn't very, but noticeable enough. "What're you doing?"

"Sorry," Arthur said. "Had a run in with someone I knew."

"Well, you're going to have a run in with the paparazzi, too," Percy said, sounding a little cross. "They're swarming the building now."

"Oh, bugger," Arthur said with a sigh. He took his sunglasses out of his suit pocket and slipped them on. "Well, let's make our way through this circus."

**

Slipping by the press and their cameras really wasn't as difficult as Percy made it out to be; then again, it was easy for him to have a crowd part like the Red Sea and for Arthur to follow tucked in at his side. He'd given a couple of simple comments, but that was it. He didn't want to dwell any longer, and running into Morgana and Morgause had left him rather unsettled. 

When he got home, Merlin was already there waiting for him. He was in the little spare office that Arthur never used and that Merlin had claimed as his own since he spent so much time in the Pendragon home when Arthur was in the city.

When Arthur knocked softly on the door, Merlin looked up with a bright smile. "Hey, you."

"Hey," Arthur said, running a hand through his hair.

Merlin frowned. "What's wrong? I thought you won."

"I did," Arthur said. The conversation with Morgana and Morgause had put him off. Arthur shrugged. "It's just ... I don't know. Weird."

Merlin clicked Save on his document and closed it, and then stood up and came over to Arthur. He put his arms around Arthur's neck, and Arthur tugged him in close. After a moment he said into Merlin's ear, "Why would anyone find you useful?"

Merlin pulled away with a scowl. "What the hell does _that_ mean? I know you think I'm a lazy lout sitting in front of my computer all the time, but--"

"No, no, sorry!" Arthur said, and he couldn't help but laugh at Merlin's put-out look. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant ... it was something Morgana said. And Morgause, actually."

That stilled Merlin in the middle of his rant, and his face went from angry to curiously neutral. "I don't know a Morgause."

Arthur waved his hand. "A friend of Morgana's or something. She used to work at Camelot Records. Like, a really long time ago."

"Okay," Merlin said slowly. "They said something about me not being useful?"

"No, about you _being_ useful."

"I don't follow."

"After the ruling," Arthur said. "I ran into them, and ... I don't know. They made insinuations."

"About what?"

"You."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Yes, so you've implied. But _what_ about me?"

"Oh, I don't know. I think they know about us," Arthur said. "Or they think they know, anyway."

"Well, we got together after Morgana and you ... became estranged," Merlin said tactfully. "But I don't think it's that far a jump for people who actually know you to maybe consider it."

"Well, no, but ... but they _know_."

"And that's somehow useful?" Merlin frowned. "I don't want her to use it against you."

"No, I don't think that's what they meant. Because she could've already, couldn't she? We just had a lengthy court case. She could've thrown in my face any time, or told the press, or anything. They said they wouldn't say anything."

"And you believe them?"

"Yes? No? I don't know, I think so. At least they won't right now."

"All right," Merlin said. He must've forgiven Arthur for his comment because he stepped back into the circle of his arms. "I'm not going to push it, okay?"

"Push what?"

"Us. Going public. I know that, recently, I've been ..." He trailed off.

"Pushy?" Arthur suggested with a smirk.

Merlin smiled. "Sure, something like that. But if you don't want people to know, then okay. I said okay at the beginning, and I will stand by that until you're ready."

"So you'll be quiet until I'm ready? And then what, when I am?"

"Oh, then I am all over it. I am all over it and will sing from the rooftops that you're mine."

"You don't sing."

"I will make an exception," Merlin said solemnly. "Or make you do it for me."

Arthur laughed, and he nuzzled against Merlin's cheek, nipping at his jaw. "All right, then. It is true, you know."

"What?" Merlin said after giving him a lazy kiss.

Arthur sighed against his mouth. "That I'm all yours. And as long as you know it, then that's all I need."

"I know it," Merlin said. He pushed against Arthur's chest, urging him to move. "Come on, then. You look tired. Let's go have a kip."

"Oh, and here I thought you might want to get laid," Arthur said casually, backing out of the room with Merlin in tow.

"Well, if you _insist_ ," Merlin said teasingly before slipping off his shirt and whipping it towards Arthur's thigh. Arthur was quick, though, and grabbed onto it, yanking it out of Merlin's hand. Merlin laughed and sprinted up the stairs, and Arthur followed.

Arthur easily caught up, but neither of them minded.

**

A couple of days later, after a long day of board meetings, Arthur met his friends for a celebratory dinner. But it wasn't for him -- he didn't know what it was for, other than that he needed to be there. Arthur entered the restaurant and told the hostess he was there meeting with the du Lacs. He wasn't surprised to be shown into a rather closed off area; Lance had made quite the name for himself in the industry, and getting reservations at posh restaurants wasn't very difficult for him either. 

"Hello," Arthur said warmly as he saw Merlin was already there with Lance and Gwen. 

"Hello, yourself," Merlin said with a smile. 

"Hey, mate." He held out his fist and they did their little complicated handshake. Merlin rolled his eyes, like he did every time, but smiled.

After he gave Gwen a quick peck on the cheek, Arthur took the seat next to Merlin, across from Lance who was sitting next to Gwen. He wished he could lean over, give Merlin a kiss, but he couldn't. Instead he slid a hand onto Merlin's thigh, under the table and out of sight. Merlin smiled at him, though, and squeezed his hand.

After their drinks had been delivered and their meals ordered, Arthur decided to get right to the point.

"So," he said. "What's the cause for celebration?"

"Yes, it must be something," Merlin said immediately. "I mean, it was all very, 'you must come right now'!"

"I'm tempted to make you guess," Lance said playfully.

"You're preggers," Merlin said to Gwen.

"No! Oh, god, no. I mean, not that we wouldn't -- but it's not, no we're not--" Gwen stuttered and the tips of Lance's ears turned red and Arthur _laughed_ at them.

"Good show, Merlin," Arthur said, amused. "Way to embarrass them."

"Not a problem," Merlin said happily.

"Oh, you two," Gwen said, swiping a hand in their direction. "But, no, that's not it."

"What's up, then?"

"Well," Lance said slowly. "This is about a job -- some freelance work," he said quickly when Arthur looked at him sharply. "You're done recording for now, Arthur."

"There's the new group--"

"And I'll have time for them, don't you worry," Lance said. "I am not leaving Camelot Records. This is just something ... extra. That me and Gwen are doing."

"And Gwaine," Gwen put in happily.

"Okay, then," Arthur said stiffly.

Merlin bumped his shoulder against Arthur's. "Oh, calm down, you. Let the man speak! Come on, Lance, tell us about it."

"We've been hired to write the original score for a movie," Lance said happy.

And, all right, that definitely warranted a smile. "Lance, that's really amazing."

"Amazing?" Merlin exclaimed, waving around the fork he'd been fiddling with in his hand. "Don't be ridiculous, it's more than amazing! It's -- it's --"

Lance said, "It's _Kill, Gharrah_."

Merlin dropped the fork.

"What?" Arthur said, astounded. It was for Merlin's book adaptation, and Lance hadn't mentioned a _word_ until now. Surely he'd known _something_ a little sooner.

"You're writing the score ... _what_?" Merlin asked, and he seemed even more dumbstruck then Arthur was.

"It's been in the works for a little while now," Lance said, positively beaming "But, I mean, there were other people they were considering, and it's not like I've written a score before -- neither has Gwaine, though Gwen has experience composing--"

"You and Gwaine compose," Gwen said. "You've been composing with each other for years. It's just different."

"True," Lance allowed, and it sounded like it was a discussion they'd had several times over. "Still, us not having the same experience which actually could've helped, we're more cost effective because of that--"

"And I have experience working with orchestras," Gwen said, "so we thought if we all pooled our experience---"

"And you never said anything!" Merlin burst out.

Lance shrugged, and smiled bashfully when Gwen chuckled and patted his arm. "We wanted to make sure. And we didn't want, like, you to pull strings or whatever. Either of you."

Merlin held his hands up defensively. "I just created the story, I don't have a bloody say in anything else that goes on with the film."

"And I have nothing to with the film industry either," Arthur put it. "My influence doesn't reach that far."

Gwen and Merlin both muttered under their breaths, "Yeah, right," and then laughed at each other as Arthur huffed.

"Still, we wanted to make sure," Lance said. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, no, no apologising," Merlin said. "This is _brilliant_ , so brilliant. Congratulations!"

"Yes, congratulations," Arthur echoed. "Now where's that scamp Gwaine tonight? He needs to be here to celebrate too."

Lance shrugged. "I don't know, he said he had plans already."

"I think it's a _date_ ," Gwen said in a stage whisper.

"Oh, right, because that's something new," Arthur said, rolling his eyes.

"No, no, I think he's been dating the same _person_. Like, for more than a week!" she explained, eyes shining with interest.

"Will never happen," Arthur said confidently. "He's just not the sort."

"Believe it or not, people do grow up," Merlin said dryly.

Everyone looked at each other and laughed. "Nah."

"Well," Merlin said, lifting his glass. "Here's to Lance and Gwen, and Gwaine."

"And Merlin," Lance added.

"I'll drink to that," Arthur said, happy for the success of his friends and for something positive to celebrate.

**

"Would you tell," Gwaine said as he and Arthur made their way down the pavement, "your oversized lug that he doesn't have to walk ten feet behind us?" 

"Gwaine," Percy said mildly from where he was walking only about four feet behind them, "I _can_ hear you, you wanker."

Gwaine turned around, keeping his pace as he walked backwards. Arthur grabbed his arm and tugged him out of the way of walking right into garbage bin but Gwaine kept looking back at Percy.

"Come on, you're our mate, not just Arthur's bodyguard, why are you acting like you're working right now?"

"Because I am," Percy said, sounding amused. "He's in public, meeting friends in public, and I'm going to stop hoards of fangirls from trying to pull locks of hair from his head."

"Would you both shut up?" Arthur grumbled under his breath. "You're going to draw attention."

Gwaine laughed. "We're walking about with the great and fabulous Arthur _Pendragon_ ," he shouted out, and Arthur hissed at him to be quiet again but Gwaine just continued, "so of _course_ we're going to be noticed."

Gwaine stopped right in his tracks until Percy was right in front of him, looming over him. Gwaine smiled. "Right, Perce?"

Percy looked amused. "One of my favourite things is how you never, ever change."

"Who would want that?" Gwaine said, laughing.

Arthur said dryly, "Everybody," and Gwaine just laughed more.

They were meeting Elyan, who had the night off work, along with Lance and Gwen. Elena was even going to make it, and it'd been ages since Arthur had seen her, so he was happy for that. Elyan had been thinking of coming into the city to join them, but the shoot ran a bit later than expected, and nobody minded the last minute change of location. It wasn't too far out of the city, the town they had to go to. Worth it, really.

It was a chilly evening for the first of February, but thankfully Percy was able to park in a nearby carpark. It was a quiet neighborhood, though, save for the large film trailers lined in a row on one end of town. They walked along streets that weren't too crowded, so it was quite possible they wouldn't get noticed, but Gwaine shouting at the top of his lungs was not going to help matters.

"Come on," Arthur said, "I'm freezing my balls off, let's go."

They passed a small park, but Percy asked them to stop for a moment. He looked in through the iron fence. There were a few people milling about, mostly women but a few men. The women were wearing long dresses or skirts or robes, and there were crowns of flowers on their heads or vines around them like necklaces. There was a large fire pit as well, though it looked like they were dousing the flames.

"Who would start a fire in a park?" Arthur asked. "And is that even legal?"

"Probably have a permit for today," Gwaine said.

Percy made a confused face. "For what?"

"Ritual that marks the Old Religion celebration for the beginning of spring."

"Oh," Arthur said, wrinkling his nose. "How do you know that?"

"Believe it or not, I know things," Gwaine said dryly.

Arthur laughed. "Yeah, but why would you care to know that? And why would you celebrate that, anyway? It's as ridiculous as pulling a gopher out of the ground or whatever."

"Would you shut up," Gwaine hissed at him, which was surprising because usually Gwaine didn't care about making a public spectacle of himself, and it wasn't even like Arthur was doing anything. "They might hear you and, you know, take offence to you mocking their beliefs."

"Whatever," Arthur mumbled, though he could feel heat rise to his cheeks and his insides squirmed unpleasantly with being chastised by Gwaine, of all the people. "Let's just go."

"Fine," Gwaine said, and started walking.

"You're upset," Arthur pointed out. "I don't get why you're upset."

"I'm not," Gwaine said shortly, "but sometimes I forget."

"Forget what?"

Gwaine looked at him askance. "How much like your father you still are."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Arthur said. "There's nothing wrong with that, anyway, he was a great man."

Before Gwaine could answer, they rounded the corner of the park, close to the pub. However, they all stopped short when they saw Merlin. He was walking with Gilli and Freya, and when the three of them saw Arthur, they froze in spot with matching shocked expressions.

Arthur, Gwaine, and Percy stopped too. Gwaine opened his mouth, started with a cheerful, "Hey, guys--" but was cut off when Arthur rumbled out a sharp, "Gwaine."

Arthur took in the other three. Freya was in dress that was long and looked like a robe, with a winter coat thrown over it. Her dark hair spilled down over her shoulders, little flowers woven into it, and there was a crown of leaves on her head. Merlin and Gilli were both in loose cotton trousers and tops that looked right out of peasant fashion from medieval times, though they were wearing modern coats over top, such as Freya was. There were smudges on their hands and swirling painted marks on their necks and cheeks. They'd clearly just come out of the park.

Where the Old Religion thing had been going on.

Arthur barely managed to keep his anger in check, but he asked coolly, "What is this?"

Everyone was quiet for a moment; Gilli looked angry, jaw set determinedly as he stared hard at Arthur, and Freya looked fearful as she put a gentle hand on Merlin's arm.

Merlin looked worried, and afraid, and _guilty_ , and unlike anything Arthur had ever seen him be before. Arthur hated seeing him like that, but he hated the way he was feeling even more.

"Arthur," he started. "I'm sorry, I--"

"It's true, then?" Arthur asked. It certainly wasn't difficult to jump to any conclusions, and it wasn't like Merlin was trying to deny anything. It would be nearly impossible to deny what was truly there.

Merlin looked miserable but he nodded.

At the admission, a myriad of emotions swept through Arthur, so strong and dizzying he felt like he needed to sit down; confusion, anger, hurt. He didn't understand. He didn't know _why_.

"You kept this from me," Arthur said, "for -- I don't know for how long." Maybe this was a new thing, some sort of existential crisis and Merlin was experimenting, and didn't know how to tell Arthur, or maybe he was just there for Gilli or Freya, and maybe Arthur would be able to deal with that if Merlin gave it up now. But by the look on Merlin's face -- no, no it wasn't that. Arthur swallowed and asked, "For as long as I've known you?"

"I've been like this for as long as I can remember," Merlin said.

Merlin took a step forward, arm reached out to take Arthur's hand. He'd done the gesture a thousand times before, but this time Arthur stepped away, dismissing it. Merlin looked positively crushed. The air around them was tense and nobody else breathed a word.

"Not in public," Arthur said, for lack of anything else. "Not now."

A large hand came to rest on Arthur's shoulder. Percy said, "This is definitely not the place for this."

"Of course," Arthur said, "we'll be late to meet our friends."

"I thought you were meeting them in the city," Merlin said uncertainly.

"Yes, well, plans change. Sorry to ruin your attempts at being sneaky," Arthur snipped at him. At least now he understood why Merlin said he couldn't come out with them. Arthur thought maybe Merlin was taking their talk about being discreet to heart, but no, it was so he could sneak around.

"Arthur," Gwaine said, "perhaps you and Merlin should go and talk about it--"

Gilli stepped in. "No, I'm not leaving Merlin alone with him right now."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Arthur said, just as Merlin scolded, "Gilli, that's not helpful _at all_."

"It's not my fault you're being a bigoted arse like your father."

" _Gilli_ ," Freya finally broke in. Her voice was quiet, but firm; Gilli scoffed, but he only scowled and didn't say anything else.

"Let's go," Arthur said, nodding to Gwaine and Percy. He moved around the other three, giving them a wide berth, and continued down the pavement.

"Arthur," Merlin called out, and Arthur couldn't stop himself from glancing over his shoulder. Merlin looked desperate but hopeful. "I'll see you at home later? We'll talk, I'll explain--"

"Maybe," Arthur said. Then turned around and walked away.

"You, my friend," Gwaine said as he fell in step beside Arthur, "are a bloody moron."

"Shut up, Gwaine," Arthur muttered, and tried to pretend his heart wasn't cracking into tiny, sharp pieces.

**

"Oh, no you don't," Gwaine said as Arthur sat down and put a pint of beer in front of himself. Gwaine picked it up instead, and ignored Arthur's protests, taking a couple large gulps. When he pulled the glass away from his face, Gwaine said, "You are _not_ getting drunk tonight." 

"Sod off," Arthur said, reaching for his glass. "I will if I want."

"Tremendously bad idea," Gwaine said. "And that's coming from _me_."

"Oh, come on," Elyan said. He had an empty glass in front of him. "Let him have at it. I'm a free man tonight, and I want to drink with my friends!"

They'd decided to go out drinking with Elyan because Mary and their ankle biter were out of town visiting Mary's parents and Elyan hadn't been able to go because of his shooting schedule. No one believed his ridiculous claims of ‘being a free man' and everyone knew it was just because he was missing his family so much. Still, they didn't have any problems indulging him.

Apparently, Gwaine would not do the same for Arthur.

"Give me my drink," Arthur said grumpily.

Gwaine smiled wickedly. "No."

Arthur tried to reach for Elena's beer, but she carefully slid it out of the way.

"Oh, come on!" Arthur said. "Don't side with that bloke. I thought you liked me."

"I do like you," Elena said. "And I may even share my beer with you, but only if you tell me what has you being such a sour puss."

"Nothing," Arthur said, "just give us a drink."

Elena did not pass over her beer and instead took a very long sip out of it while staring pointedly at Arthur.

Gwaine laughed. "Oh, darling, I've always liked you." She beamed at him, but kept her beer out of Arthur's reach when he tried to grab for it.

Arthur scowled at her, and then turned to Lance and Gwen, who were sitting next to each other, Lance with his arm thrown around his wife's shoulders. Neither looked willing to give up their drinks without a confession either.

"Well, then, I'll just--" Arthur said while starting to get up out of his seat. Percy put a hand on Arthur's shoulder and pushed him back down. Arthur looked at him, incredulous. "You too? You can't actually boss me around, you know."

"Seriously, Arthur," Elyan said. "Something's up. Gwaine won't let you drink. And Gwaine loves drinking, and encourages all to do the same. You know something is up when Gwaine won't let you drink."

"It's nothing," Arthur snapped.

Gwaine rolled his eyes. "Arthur has to go home tonight and have a very serious conversation with his-"

"Gwaine," Arthur said warningly.

"-- friend Merlin," Gwaine finished.

"Ah," Elena said, and tapped the side of her nose. "I see. Trouble in paradise."

"That's surprising," Gwen said. "You're guys are so perfect together." Lance nodded in agreement. And wasn't that just rich, the most perfect couple talking about other people's perfectness. Arthur really disliked them at the moment. "You were more than fine less than a week ago when we saw you!"

"Well, it's not perfect," Arthur said. He thought, for a moment, that he shouldn't say anything, because it was Merlin's secret -- except for that fact that he'd been out in public, dressed as he was, and he wrote books about _magic_ for Christ's sake. Maybe he wasn't singing it from the rooftops, but no, it wasn't secret. But it had absolutely been information that was withheld from Arthur, and the more he thought about it, the angrier and angrier he became.

"We just ran into him on the way here, actually," Arthur said. "Coming out of the park."

They all stared at him.

"The one down the road."

"Um," Elyan said, confused. "Why didn't you bring him with?"

"Because he was _busy_ ," Arthur said, "with an Old Religion ritual thing."

They all continued to stare at him, as if waiting for the punch line.

"Don't tell me you all knew," Arthur said, because that would be too much. That would be too much if they all knew and he hadn't and--

"Well, no," Elena said with a shrug. Gwaine and Elyan shook their heads as well, as did Percy and Gwen, and that at least eased Arthur's mind.

Lance stared down at the glass in his hand.

"You knew," Arthur said as soon as the thought crossed his mind. "You knew, and you didn't tell me."

"Oh, no," Gwen said. "He didn't know because he would've …" Gwen trailed off at her husband's sheepish glance. Surprised, she said, "You did know."

Arthur stood up so fast his knees hit the table and the pints sloshed beer over the edges. "You knew!" Arthur accused, feeling even more deeply betrayed. "You're supposed to be my mate!"

"It wasn't for me to tell," Lance said, holding up his hands defensively. To Gwen he said, "To _anyone_." Gwen looked terribly hurt, but she had nothing on what Arthur was feeling right then.

"A secret. One of my best mates and my … other best mate, conspiring together. Just fantastic," Arthur spat out. "How long?"

"Arthur--"

"How long have you known?"

Lance sighed. "The day I met him. Well, really met him, officially. Not that time in Germany, but at Gaius' house? Then."

"The barbeque." Arthur said. "That was _years_ ago!"

"Yes, but I remember it clearly. I'll never forget it. I met Gwen that day," he said, as if the two were at all related. He reached a hand out, put it on Gwen's leg even though her arms were crossed and not reciprocating in the least. "I helped Merlin with moving the furniture and it just -- happened."

"Oh, what happened?" Arthur snapped. "What, Merlin did a little bit of," he waved his hands in ridiculous jazz hands, "magic to help you along? Is that how you found out he's a Druid, huh?"

An odd look crossed Lance's face, but it quickly cleared. "You really need to speak to him," Lance urged. "Find out the whole story."

"Oh, I know it," Arthur said. "It's the one where he's been lying to me for years about his religion."

Gwaine asked, "Had he pretended to have another one?"

"Well, no," Arthur said, "but that's not the point. Lying by omission, whatever. I _know_ he kept it from me purposefully."

"Well," Gwaine said dryly, "I wonder why ever for." 

"Arthur, _please_ ," Elena said, looking terribly confused. "I don't understand what the big deal is. I mean, it's not. A big deal, I mean. Well, the not telling you thing, yes, you have a right to be angry about that, I suppose. But you seem so … angry about finding out he's a Druid. It's just a religious faith, it's not like he's a mass murderer or something."

It was like the rest of the table had drawn in a quick breath and held it, waiting for Arthur to crack and lose it. Arthur tried very hard to keep his calm; Elena didn't know. Elena didn't know how the Old Religion had messed up his family, taken away his mother, turned his father into a bitter man. Everyone else there had a lot more experience with it, having been a part of Camelot Records in one way or another.

"Well, perhaps I am," Arthur said thinly, trying to keep his calm with her. "Angry, I mean. Extremely so. About that."

"But, Arthur, there's no need to be," Elena said earnestly. "It's not the most organised of faiths, perhaps, and they much prefer to keep to themselves, but they're really quite peaceful and harmonious."

"You sound like you know a lot about it," Gwaine said cautiously.

It didn't stop Arthur from saying, "On second thought, so did _you_ , Gwaine, out by the park."

Gwaine didn't let that bother him, though he didn't say anything more than, "Perhaps I do."

"Well, I do," Elena said, sounding proud. "I mean, I don't practice, that's not how my daddy brought me up, but I had a nanny. She was lovely, cared for me since I was in nappies -- Grunhilda was her name -- and she told me about it. Sounded quite lovely, actually, and she even taught me a couple of their songs. Beautiful music."

Arthur pushed the thought of _Your mother loved to sing their songs_ out of his head and focused on his anger. "Even the ridiculous claims of magic?" Arthur asked sardonically. "Did she tell you of those?"

"Oh, well," Elena said with a small frown. It quickly cleared though. "She didn't say much about that, honestly, but it was in within her rights, and her faith, not to."

"So she lied to you, too," Arthur said flatly. "Lied to you out of omission. _That_ seems their way."

"No, she didn't." Elena wavered for a moment under Arthur hard stare, but then she took a deep breath and stood her ground. "I don't understand why you would hold anyone's religion against them, especially not someone you care about so much, not if he's not harming others. And he certainly isn't trying to push it upon you, or anyone else, apparently. I think you should speak to him."

"Well, thank you for your concern," Arthur said stiffly. "I'll take it under advisement."

When Arthur started to step away from the table, Gwaine quickly stood up and grasped Arthur's arm. Arthur shook him off.

"Oh, come on, Arthur," Gwaine said, "where are you going?"

Gwen put in gently, "You might want to calm down before you go speak to him. Clear your mind."

"What makes you think I'm going to go see him," Arthur said. "I need a drink. With _out_ you lot and your pushy opinions."

"Oh, _we've_ got the pushy opinions," Gwaine said with a humourless chuckle. "You're being an idiot, princess."

Lance said, "Please, won't you--"

"Don't even talk to me right now," Arthur said, not looking at Lance. "None of you."

The tone of his voice must have held enough finality, because none of them said anything else, and none of them tried to stop him as he stormed out of the pub. He was all of fifteen feet away from it when he paused, sighed, and turned around.

"Percy," he said, and all the anger had left his voice. He sounded tired and drained. He _felt_ tired and drained. "I meant you too."

"Sorry," Percy said, not sounding regretful at all. "I'm on the job right now. Can't let you get mobbed by adoring fans while you're already upset."

"I'm not upset," Arthur muttered.

"Of course not," Percy said, humouring him. "Either way, I'll accompany you home -- or wherever," he amended when Arthur pulled a face. "Anywhere you want to go."

"I want a drink," Arthur said.

"We were just at a pub--"

"Not there," Arthur said.

"Somewhere closer to home, then?"

Arthur shook his head. "No. No, let's just go get the car and drive. I'll tell you when I get there."

"Sure," Percy said, and they walked toward the carpark. They crossed to the other side of the street before they got to the park, and Arthur resolutely did not look at it, even though it seemed like everybody was already gone.

**

"Oh good," Leon said. He ran a hand through his unruly curls and sighed. He opened up the door to his flat wider and gestured for Arthur and Percy to come in. "What is this?" 

"Package for you," Percy said cheerfully, though Arthur wasn't sure how he did it because god only knew what hour in the night it was and Arthur for one was feeling _awful_.

"Leon," Arthur said, proud of himself for not slurring too much. "Good evening."

Leon didn't seemed to agree, though, because his eyes went wide and he grabbed Arthur's other arm. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Me and Percy went for a few drinks," Arthur explained.

"Arthur drank," Percy said, "and I tried to keep him from making a spectacle of himself."

"Thank you," Leon said gratefully.

"Don't thank me yet," Percy said. "I said tried. And that's why I brought him here," Percy said as he deposited Arthur onto the sofa in the living room. "So that when he wakes up the two of you can start strategizing damage control right away."

"Fuck," Leon said. "His outstanding behaviour was too good to be true. I knew he would crack eventually."

"I am right here," Arthur said, waving a finger around. He promptly slumped over onto the cushions. "Don't talk about me like that when I'm right here. Or ever, actually. Never ever ever, that's … treason."

"Treason?" Leon asked, something between amusement and exasperation.

"It's not like you're going to remember in the morning anyway," Percy said.

Leon sighed and said, "I'll get you some water."

If there was anything said after that, Arthur didn't know because he passed out and didn't remember, just like Percy said.

**

Arthur's eyes opened against the bright light coming in through the windows and he groaned, throwing an arm across his eyes. He turned over so that his face was buried into the pillow beneath his head. 

"So," Leon said cheerfully, "there's coffee on, and water and paracetamol right there for you."

Arthur groaned again and twisted around. He saw Leon sitting in the chair next to the sofa. He was in joggers and a t-shirt, his black laptop sitting on his legs. 

"You'll never believe what I'm reading this morning," Leon said, ignoring the pain that Arthur was in.

"Do we have to do this now?" Arthur said, struggling to sit up.

"Yes," Leon said. "It makes for interesting reading. It's a blog, you see, of some uni student. She left a link on one of the old The Knights forums--"

"You still troll those?" Arthur asked, and popped back the pills, taking a long sip of cold water.

"Yes," he said simply. "So I followed the link to her blog, and she left the most interesting post. About how she saw her favourite Knight, Arthur Pendragon -- that's you, by the way, in case you didn't know--"

"I hate you."

"-- and she writes about how she saw him -- you, I should say -- at a pub last night in her home town, and she knew they were filming a movie there but she _never_ expected _Arthur Pendragon_ to be there, and oh my goodness, you were there with _all_ the other Knights and she wanted to get an autograph but it looked like you were all in the middle of an argument. Or, well, you were _very_ upset. Oh, look, there's a picture."

Arthur groaned. "No."

"Yep," Leon said, and he turned his laptop around. It was a horrible picture, tiny and blurred, but yeah that was definitely a moment at the pub from the night before. Arthur groaned. Leon turned the laptop back around and said, "Damn those new mobile phones, yeah? What will they think of next?"

"This is so awful," Arthur said with a sigh.

"Yes and no," Leon said. "It's not the best situation in the world, no. Especially with the BRIT awards in one week."

"Oh, God, the Brits."

"And the Grammys four days after that, which you're flying to America for."

"This is the worst possible timing for this to happen," Arthur said flatly.

"Speaking of," Leon said, "do you want to explain? I got a bit of information out of Percy, but maybe you should tell me your perspective so it'll be easier to field the press mess this could potentially make."

"She's right," Arthur said, pointing to the laptop. "We were out for a drink at the pub, I was upset and we all got into an argument, and then I left."

"Right," Leon said. "And you were fighting about?"

Arthur fiddled with the glass he was holding, tilting it back and forth and watching the water before he took a deep sip of it. Finally, he said, "Merlin. Sort of."

"All right," Leon said, "I know you have your reasons for keeping your relationship quiet, but things are changing. The company has been yours for a couple years. You're nominated for several prestigious awards. If you want, it would be a great time to make a public statement about your relationship with him."

"I don't want to do that," Arthur said quickly, and he hated that it was because he didn't even know the status of their relationship, or how that could change soon. "Besides, that's not what the argument was about."

"Then what was it about?"

"I found out that Merlin practices the Old Religion," Arthur said. "He's a Druid. And he never told me. I don't know if he ever did plan on telling me. I found out accidentally."

Leon was quiet for a moment. "Oh," he said. "Yes, that would be something that would upset you."

"Thank you!" Arthur said, waving a hand around. "Everyone seemed to think I was a wanker for being pissed."

Leon had been around the Pendragons, and Camelot Records, for a rather long time. He didn't make a comment on it either way, thankfully, because now that Arthur was awake and sober and had a bit of distance from it all ... well, yes, that argument could've gone much better. And really shouldn't have happened in public.

"What did Merlin have to say about why?" asked Leon diplomatically.

"I haven't talked to him about it yet."

"Well, I think that's probably a good start."

"What about dealing with that?" Arthur said, pointing at the laptop again.

"Well, it's the internet. It's out there now. It's probably circulated different sites and yahoo email groups and the whole works. You're going to get questions about it, undoubtedly, especially with a red carpet next week. But it's still too soon to say what the impact might be -- it's just a fangirl and her observations, right? We can spin it whatever way makes it look best, hopefully in an ‘oh, ha-ha, it was not big deal' sort of way, she didn't know the context, and so on. But, Arthur, I really think you need to talk to the lads first, apologise to them all and see where they stand. And you _must_ talk to Merlin. You need to get your head on straight personally before we take any professional steps."

Arthur nodded. He knew that was true, but he wasn't particularly looking forward to it. "I know. Thanks, Leon. You really know what you're doing."

"Hey," Leon said casually, "you didn't promote me for nothing."

"Too true," Arthur said. He sighed and flopped back down onto the couch, mind whirling with plans.

**

It was much later in the day when Arthur finally arrived home. He'd made stops along the way, Percy happily but quietly chauffeuring him around, which Arthur appreciated since it wasn't technically his job. First Arthur went back and saw Elyan on set, who just seemed relieved to see that Arthur was okay. Then Gwaine and, surprisingly -- or maybe not so much -- Elena, who was also at his flat. How did Arthur not see that one coming? There were endless jokes on the tip of his tongue, but it wasn't the right time and Gwaine was not in the right mood. While Elena too was happy to see Arthur was okay and gave him gentle advice, Gwaine was still prickly. They'd been this way before, though, and Arthur was confident they'd get over it. 

Then he went to Lance and Gwen's place; the two of them seemed to be all right with each other, probably talking long into the night to work it out. Lance was incredibly apologetic and while Arthur had the urge to hit him upside the head, he held back and listened through Lance's explanations as best he could without freaking out.

Arthur felt very mature about it all, actually, and if this had been when he'd first met them when he was still a teenager, he probably would've pouted and had his father fire them all. But no, he was beyond that and he was confident his friendships were safe.

That confidence, which rarely faltered, did just that as he approached his own home. He still had no idea how to talk to Merlin about it, or what he even _wanted_ from it all.

He found Merlin in the living room right away. It wasn't like Merlin was officially moved in or anything, and he didn't spend time there when Arthur was on tour, but he had free access and ongoing permission to come and go whenever Arthur was in the city. Today was the first time Arthur felt irrationally angry that Merlin would invade his space without him already there.

Damnit. That didn't bode well for their conversation.

Merlin must've sensed it too. He jumped off of the couch and stood uneasily in the middle of the room, shifting awkwardly on his feet. That didn't seem right either; he should never be like that, not here, it didn't suit him.

They were lost in this weird sort of purgatory, this grey area that they'd never been before, and neither were sure how to navigate their way out, for better or worse.

Arthur decided he would try. He started with a simple, "Hello."

"Hi," Merlin replied immediately, and his following words came in an uneasy rush. "I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have just showed up -- I wasn't sure if you'd be home yet, but I just got here and--"

"You didn't come last night?" Arthur asked, frowning. Which was a stupid thing to say, really, because Arthur hadn't even wanted to see him last night, but it felt weird that Merlin didn't want to.

"Well, I did, but then I got a text from Percy and then from Leon."

Oh. Arthur sighed. "Of course you did."

"They said you wouldn't be home, so I didn't know if I should stay or not, and I'm trying to respect your wishes--"

"You don't even know what they are yet," Arthur said.

Merlin pursed his lips together. "I know. I was guessing. But that's why I'm here, we need to -- Arthur, I'm _sorry_ , you have no idea how sorry I am, I didn't want you to find out like that--"

"Did you ever want me to find out?" Arthur couldn't help but ask. He wanted to know. He wanted to know if the charade would've kept going and going.

"Of course I wanted to tell you," Merlin said. "I wanted to tell you right away, I did."

"But you didn't," Arthur said. His voice sounded hard, cold, and he couldn't help it. "You're just like the rest of them. Agravaine, and Morgana, and I am _sick_ of being lied to and betrayed--"

"Arthur, please, no. It wasn't like that." 

"You kept it a secret for _nine_ years -- and knowing how I felt about it! That's just wrong."

"Which is exactly why!" Merlin exclaimed back. "You, and your father, you _hate_ the Old Religion. Genuinely hate it! And you would've hated me by extension, just because I have certain beliefs. Do you realise how wrong _that_ is?"

Arthur swallowed. "I don't hate--"

"Oh, don't even try it," Merlin said. "You do. Or, well, your father did and so he taught you to. You, Arthur Pendragon, are one of the best people I know, but you're also blinded by your love for him. You're not without your faults."

"And neither are you," Arthur said. He didn't even want to touch the stuff about his father; it was too hard to digest, what Merlin was saying. What Elena had more gently suggested, and what Gwaine had been bluntly pointing out for years. Instead, he focused on what he was honestly and truly upset about. "You lied to me, Merlin."

Merlin nodded. "I did. And I know it was wrong, and I hated doing it, I did. I just wanted to be your friend, and I knew you wouldn't look twice at me ever again, so I made the decision to keep it from you. I didn't want to forever, but the time -- it's never been right."

"How is being honest about yourself never the right time?"

"Oh, do we really want to go there?" Merlin asked sarcastically. Arthur was about to make a snappish remark back, but Merlin continued, apparently letting that bit of debate fall to the wayside for now. He said, "It was never the right time, and I'd think that you of all people would understand this reasoning. It was because -- well, it just wasn't. We were friends, and you were touring, and then when your father -- you had so much on your plate and were dealing with so much, and then you _wanted_ me and we--"

"We were stupid and went and fell in love," Arthur said dryly. "Which, apparently, doesn't warrant the truth."

"Oh, don't get all high and mighty on me," Merlin snapped at him. "Dating you made _everything_ more difficult." He paused for a moment, and added on softly, "And everything better, too."

"You don't get to do that," Arthur said. "You don't get to try to pretend that because we love each other and had a good run, that means everything is okay. It's not okay."

"No, I know it's not, I'm not trying to pretend it is," Merlin said. "I just want you to know -- I don't want this to be over. I don't. But … I still need to tell you something. And I'm not sure how you're going to take it."

"More secrets?" Arthur asked.

"Just one … well, a related one. You might want to sit down for this."

Arthur said shortly, "I'm fine, thanks."

"Suit yourself," Merlin said. He took in a deep breath. "So, I, um. All right, so Lance told you he found out about--"

"Oh, yes," Arthur said coolly. "Well done, that, thanks very much for having one of my mates keep your secrets. Should I add him to the growing list of people who keep things from me?"

"It's not his fault, don't blame him. I didn't mean for him to find out," Merlin said. "It was an accident. I wasn't very good at it, at the time, and it sort of came out."

"What, the truth?" Arthur retorted with a snort.

"Um," Merlin said. "My magic."

Arthur stood there and blinked at Merlin. Merlin bit his lower lip and worried it between his teeth, eyes intense as they gauged Arthur's reaction.

Arthur laughed. It was hollow, and dark, but he didn't know what else to do.

" _Magic_ ," Arthur said. "Well, I see why you kept the fact you're absolutely mad under wraps for so long."

"I know what you think about that part of--"

"Think?" Arthur interrupted. "I know it's crazy talk and no one _actually has magic_ ," he said, stressing each word slowly like he was trying to explain something to Elyan's kid. "So what I think is that you are certifiable. You've let your writing get to your head. We should get you help for that."

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose, unable to look at Merlin. It was like he didn't even _know_ him and how did he not notice sooner that Merlin was rather off his rocker? It made Arthur feel bad for him, actually, and grasp at straws that maybe all this lying was because he was sick, truly addled in the brain, but Arthur wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse.

"I'll show you," Merlin said, and Arthur gaze snapped up to meet his.

Arthur snorted. "Show me? Show me something that doesn't exist?"

"How can you say that?" Merlin asked. "I know you're not stupid, you know some history, and for something you despise so much, you must've actually done some research on it at some point. Know what you hate and all."

"I already told you I don't hate. I feel …" Arthur searched his thoughts, his feelings, and settled on, "pity, really, that people would believe such insane things."

"Are you even listening to yourself? You know that not everyone claims to have magic, and not all people who follow the Old Religion even believe in magic. It is incredibly rare, and I'm -- a special case, apparently."

"Oh?" Arthur said, though he knew he shouldn't indulge these insane fantasies. "And how's that?"

"Because I can do things like this," Merlin said.

He held out his palm in front of him, and whispered in Latin or Greek or something, and then suddenly … suddenly, there was a small ball of flame sitting on his hand.

Arthur gaped at him like a fish out of water, watching the flame flickering a little. Merlin blew on it, and it got a little bit bigger and changed colour slowly from orange to a deep red, and then _purple_. Merlin's eyes flashed gold before they swirled back to blue.

Arthur cleared his throat and said, "Neat trick."

"Not a trick," Merlin said. "I'm not an illusionist. Well, I guess I could be, but this is more than that. This is natural magic of the earth, and I was born with it."

Merlin closed his fist and the fire went away. He gave Arthur a tentative smile, and then took a step closer to where Arthur was standing stiffly, like he was on guard. Arthur didn't back away, but his arms were crossed over his chest and there must've been something on his face that made Merlin stop advancing.

"Get out," Arthur said.

"What?"

"Get out of my house. You and your…" He waved a hand in Merlin's direction. "I can't -- this is too -- I need to--" Process. Yell. Think. Arthur needed to do a great many things, but he couldn't do it with Merlin there.

"Arthur, please," Merlin said, and for the first time since Arthur stepped back in the house that day, Merlin sounded pleading. Like he was honestly worried now that Arthur would shove him away. Arthur didn't know what he wanted to do, but he did know he wanted to be alone.

"I need time," Arthur said, shaking his head. "And I can't -- you lied, and you kept this from me, and I don't know. I don't know what to think. Goddamnit, Merlin, _magic_."

Merlin swallowed, but nodded slowly. "All right. But we can work through this, I know we can, and I need to say it, I love you and you're--"

"Merlin, don't," Arthur said. "I can't hear that right now."

"Fine, but I need to know -- and I know I probably have no right to ask -- but this can't be the end. We can't just … promise me, promise me we'll talk soon."

"You're right," Arthur said. "You don't have a right to ask. But I promise. If this is it --" Merlin started shaking his head, like he refused to hear that it could be "--we'll talk it through, first."

"Okay, fine, when --"

"I don't know, Merlin," Arthur said with a sigh. He was tired, and he didn't want to look at Merlin's worried face anymore, he didn't want to think about how Merlin could do this -- _thing_ , and he had kept it from Arthur for so long. He didn't want to think about how much his heart was breaking because he loved Merlin, he really did, but he didn't know if he could get past this. He just didn't know.

Arthur said, "When I get back from America."

"What?" Merlin said. "You don't even leave for over a week."

"Correct," Arthur said. "And you know what I'm going to do for the next week? Focus on my career. I have interviews and awards shows and trips to America--"

"Come on, Arthur, this is _us_ ," Merlin said desperately.

"My career is the only thing that feels like it makes _sense_ right now," Arthur said, starting to get angry again. "And I will focus on it if I bloody well please."

Merlin mouth shut tight. "Fine," he said thinly. "Fine. If that's what you need -- I can respect that."

"Thank you," Arthur said formally, "now please, Merlin, go."

Merlin nodded, and did exactly that, but Arthur didn't watch him go. He couldn't.

**

"Thanks for coming with me," Arthur said. He was in the back of the limo, decked out in a new Armani tux, on the way to the BRIT Awards. 

Elena was his date. She looked gorgeous, hair all smoothed out and make-up done professionally, and she was in a beautiful silk dress. He knew that, as usual, she worked with stylists to pull off her look for making an appearance; it was lovely, of course, but he liked it when she was herself too. He had already told her that tonight, and she had heartily agreed.

She smiled at him. "It's not problem at all," she said. "I've been doing this for years, haven't I?"

"Well, technically, you haven't done it _in_ years," Arthur pointed out. She hummed noncommittally, and then raised an eyebrow. When she didn't say anything, Arthur prompted, "What? Come on, let's have it."

"This isn't … this isn't to make him jealous, is it?" She didn't elaborate any more, but she didn't need to.

"No," Arthur said immediately. "We arranged this before … well, _before_." And they had, as soon as the nominations had come out and Arthur knew he would be attending the awards. That wasn't a lie -- it was just supposed to be a friends thing, of course. Two ‘single' pop stars who were both making an appearance at the same awards show -- Arthur being nominated, Elena asked to present -- and so it had made sense, at the time. Roused up a little press for both; Arthur thought it was even more helpful in his case for his image, although Elena was working on an album as well and drumming up some ‘oh, yes, remember her?' interest was beneficial. Arthur didn't know, he left that to Gaius and Leon to arrange. He had agreed because he couldn't bring Merlin, and Elena was a friend.

Although, Arthur would fully admit that it was something in his favour right now, to keep the press off his back about his ‘fight' with the former Knights, and his ‘bromance' with Merlin.

Elena patted his hand, as she often did when she didn't quite believe him. It reminded him of a time long before Merlin was his private-boyfriend, when she was still his pretend-girlfriend, and just thinking about that all made his head and heart ache.

"Okay, then," she said gently. "If you say so."

"And what about _you_?" he said, trying to redirect it away from him. He smirked playfully at her. "Are you doing it to make _him_ jealous?"

She laughed, a light and joyful sound. "Do you really think that would work? No offence, but Gwaine is not jealous of you in the least."

"No offence taken," he said. "He's known me for too long, he knows better. And I know him too."

He paused at that, tilted his head to the side, a little concerned. She rolled her eyes and echoed, "What? Come on, let's have it."

"No, no, I mean … it's _Gwaine_ , and I don't know what you two are up to--"

"We're getting to know each other," she supplied.

"You've known each other for years."

"We're getting to know each other _better_ , then."

"All right. Well, it's just that I've known him for a long time, I know what he's like, and …well, I wouldn't want you to get hurt," Arthur said as tactfully as he could.

"Oh, I'm well aware of what he was like, I really am. I've heard the stories -- a lot of them from the papers, and a fair number from him too," she said, and she sounded rather _fond_ about it.

"And you're not worried?" Arthur asked, honestly curious at what she had to say about it.

She shook her head. "I'm not," she said. "We've talked. He knows what I'm looking for and, well, he's willing to give it a chance."

"Really?" Arthur asked in disbelief. "Really? Gwaine said that?"

"What?" she asked, amused. "You don't believe it?"

"From him? Never."

"Well," she said softly, and patted his hand again. "People change and grow. They grow _up_. And when they do, shouldn't we take that into consideration? Perhaps extend some forgiveness."

Arthur said flatly, "Your message really isn't that subtle."

Elena laughed. "Well, then, I hope that Merlin somehow gets it and forgives you."

Arthur gave her an incredulous look, and was about to protest when she put in, "Oh, we're here." He hadn't even noticed that the limo had come to a stop, and he didn't have time to come up with a rebuttal before the driver opened the side door and Elena said, "Show time."

He grumbled under his breath, "Yes, show time," and braced himself for the evening. At least her words had distracted him from the nervousness of being there.

**

  
[ ](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part4/6PageSixSevenEight.png)   


**www.PageSixSevenEight.com**  
 _February 10, 2006_

_Well, now, it looks like that fine piece of hunk, Arthur Pendragon, had a good time at the BRIT Awards last night. He took home two of the awards -- Best British Male and Best British Single. Not only that, he was there with old flame, Elena Gawant, and the two seemed to be enjoying themselves thoroughly. They still make an absolutely stunning couple._

_However, when asked, both claimed they were there as 'only friends' and to support one another. To be honest, I rather believe that. There's been some rumours of Elena being seen around with Arthur's wild friend and former Knight, Gwaine Orkney -- well, who knows, maybe they have a happy poly threesome going on, yes? Both Arthur _and_ Elena are Orkney's type. Somehow, I don't think that's quite it. Here, let's sort it out by playing Six Degrees of Pendragon!_

_→ Arthur goes to an award show with Elena.  
→ Elena is supposedly dating Gwaine.  
→ Gwaine was a Knight with Arthur.  
→ Gwaine _also_ has been recently hired to help score the film _Kill, Gharrah_ , the film adaptation of the book written by delectably delicious gay author Merlin Emrys.  
→ Merlin Emrys? Well, he's Arthur Pendragon's boyfriend, of course! (They just haven't said so yet. Everyone knows, boys, just admit it!)_

_Looks like I win!_

_On the next episode of Coronation Street (oh, I'm so witty) -- The Grammys in America!_

**

_Caller ID: M.E._

Arthur stared down at his mobile as it vibrated in his hand. He was just about to catch a taxi to the airport. Arthur was absolutely exhausted; it'd been a long night partying after the BRIT awards, and he'd been carried on a weird emotional high of his win but a sadness in the background that Merlin hadn't been there. Not that he ever was for those sort of things, but this just _felt_ emptier. Arthur had come home alone, to an empty house, didn't get nearly enough sleep as he should've, and was up early to head off to America.

But then the phone started going off and --

and Arthur hit the button and brought it up to his mouth.

"Hi," he said.

"Oh, Arthur!" Merlin sounded surprised. "Oh, hi, hello, I'm sorry. I thought -- well, I thought that maybe you'd already be gone, and that I would get your voicemail, and I didn't realise--"

"It's okay, Merlin. I was just about to get a cab off to the airport."

"Oh. Oh, right. Of course. I'm sorry. I should let you go."

"Wait," Arthur said before Merlin could hang up. "Um. Did you call for a reason?"

Arthur wasn't sure what Merlin wanted, but just hearing his voice left a dull ache inside Arthur, like a piece of him was missing and it was _right there_ in the mobile but there was no way of getting it back. Not yet.

"Oh, yes," Merlin said quickly. "Well. I just wanted to say congratulations. For last night. And good luck."

Arthur said softly, "Thank you."

They were both quiet for a moment, just breathing into their mobiles. Arthur almost asked, _why haven't you called before_ \-- or emailed or texted or _anything_. But Arthur knew the answer -- he'd asked Merlin not to. Merlin often laughed off things like that, could be right annoying with his chattering and complete disregard for some of Arthur's requests, but Arthur had never been truly upset at any of that before. And truthfully, he wasn't now -- he'd asked, very seriously asked, and Merlin had really respected that, though it'd probably been difficult for him. He was giving Arthur the space he asked for.

Merlin spoke first, as if realizing Arthur had been thinking about that. "I'm sorry I called. I know you didn't want me to."

"No, it's okay," Arthur said. "I appreciate it."

"I was so proud. When you won. I -- you deserved that, so much."

Arthur swallowed. "Thank you." _I wish you'd been there_ crossed his mind but he didn't say it out loud.

"I miss you," Merlin blurted.

Arthur sighed. "Merlin."

"Sorry, can't hold off any longer. I do, all right? This is the longest since we've started dating that I've gone without talking to you and it's awful. Just awful. I hate it."

"Me too," Arthur said softly.

"Arthur, can't we please just--"

"Merlin," Arthur cut him off. There was a honking from outside and Arthur glanced out the window. "I have to go," he said. "My cab is here. And I should … focus."

"Oh, all right," Merlin said sadly.

"I'll call you," Arthur said. "When I get back. I promised, remember?"

"Okay," Merlin said. "Good luck."

"Thanks. Bye."

Arthur clicked the call off, and turned off the phone completely.

**

Arthur met Leon and Percy outside the terminal before going to check into the flight. He didn't want to be hanging around the airport or be in L.A without having Percy nearby as a bodyguard, but he also had duties to help with as Arthur's PA, and Leon needed to be there because he was organising interviews and other press events over the next couple of days. The two of them would work closely together and make sure Arthur got to everywhere he needed to be, and on time. Landing, hotels, sound checks, interviews, award shows, all jumbled in with jetlag -- it was going to be a really rough couple of days, and Arthur was starting it exhausted which wouldn't make it any easier. 

When they were heading to their gate, Arthur stopped to pick up a paper. His own face was beaming back at him while he held his BRIT Award, and while he was used to seeing his face around, this was something else entirely. He had _won_ , and it was amazing.

"You look good there," Leon said, nodding.

"Shut up," Arthur hissed, and glanced around. Leon rolled his eyes. And, okay, so Arthur had his hoodie pulled up over a baseball cap and was being a douche by wearing sunglasses inside, but whatever. So far, he'd been left alone.

"You should try to rest during the flight," Leon said, "because you look like crap right now."

"Gee, thanks," Arthur said dryly.

"Didn't sleep much?" Percy asked.

Arthur shrugged. "Big night, wouldn't you say?"

"Yeah," Leon said, and he case an askance glance. "Stay out late?"

Arthur spoke quietly, so no one could overhear, but he knew those two could. "Yeah. But I dropped Elena off at Gwaine's house, and then went home. Alone. We were just out late."

They both looked disappointed to hear that. They wanted to know if he'd gone home _alone_ , or if things were fixed with Merlin yet. Well, he didn't have good news for them, and he was keeping the phone call to himself. Arthur's friends were great at keeping his secrets and he couldn't appreciate that more, but he wanted to have _some_ privacy in his life. And he still didn't know what to do.

"Well, come on, then," Leon said briskly. "We'll have to board soon."

"Yeah, yeah, let me just get this," Arthur said. He bought a paper and a magazine, and then he trailed after Leon while Percy followed him. 

After getting on the plane and settling into the spacious first class, Arthur read the part of the paper that was about himself. It was a decent article that highlighted the night, which Arthur knew of course because he was _there_ and that was never going to get old. But it said that his performance was solid for an award show, and his win deserved.

"Not bad," he grinned as he handed that section over to Leon.

He picked up the magazine and flipped idly through it, but his mouth dropped when he came across an article and pictures of someone all too familiar. 

"Oh, fuck," Arthur groaned.

"What?" Percy said, craning his neck so he could see over the back of his seat.

Arthur tapped the paper. "Morgana."

There, on the page in front of him, was his estranged half-sister and the headline, _Barer of new talent and the Old Religion_.

"Well, Christ," Leon intoned. Both he and Percy tried grabbing at the magazine, but Arthur jerked it out of their reach.

"Aren't you guys my staff?" he demanded half-heartedly. "My manager and my personal assistant. You're supposed to be on top of this stuff."

"Sorry," Percy said, not sounding very sorry at all, "suppose we were busy trying to field calls from news outlets about your public flight with The Knights, and some public drunkenness, and about your possible girlfriend _or_ possible boyfriend. And, oh yeah, there was your big win at the awards. Terribly sorry, that."

"Yeah, well, you just turn around," Arthur said, wagging his finger. To Leon he said, "And you just read about the award show. I'll take care of finding out about my angry sister, okay?"

"Deal," they said in unison, and sounded rather happy about it too. He gave them the finger, just like old times, and smiled apologetically at the nice flight attendant that saw, but quickly turned to the article.

**

[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part4/7People1.png)

[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part4/8People2.png)

  


_I sat down the lovely Morgana le Fey, who is the co-owner of the new talent agency,_ Magic Talent _. There is a deeper meaning to that name than she's previously let on._

_It's been less than a month since the closure of the court case where she tried to sue her half-brother, Arthur Pendragon, for part ownership of Camelot Records and the estate Uther Pendragon left him._

_While Morgana can't go into explicit detail about the case itself, she's free to start talking about just how she is connected to the Pendragons._

_**Interviewer:** You grew up in the Pendragon household?  
 **Morgana:** For a time, yes. Uther took me in after my parents died. He was like a father to me ... and it wasn't until much later in life that I found out he _was_ my father._

_**Interviewer:** Did you confront him about it?  
 **Morgana:** I did. He denied it, but I had proof enough. I knew the truth, and I knew that he did as well. He refused to recognise me as his own. He died before I could either convince him to do so, or take him to court for it._

_**Interviewer:** Did Arthur Pendragon know?  
 **Morgana:** No, I honestly believe my brother did not know. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't know who to talk to. I sought advice from a friend, who advised me to go to lawyers. It was over half a year after Uther's death before I felt confident enough to bring it forward. Anyone following the case knows what happened from there._

_**Interviewer:** Yes, what could be published was, and quite frequently.  
 **Morgana:** To be honest, I knew my chances of winning the case were slim, but I think it's right that it was brought forward that Uther Pendragon is not as good a man as everyone thought he was._

_**Interviewer:** What do you think of his son, your brother, Arthur?  
 **Morgana:** I think Arthur has the potential to be a good man, I truly do. But he's living in our father's shadow still. I don't think he knows who he is._

_**Interviewer:** Well, to be fair, Arthur Pendragon is a very successful singer and Camelot Records is doing better than ever.  
 **Morgana:** This is true. But I mean, I don't think he knows who he is. On a personal level. He's still lost._

_**Interviewer:** Can you elaborate?  
 **Morgana:** No, I will not._

\---

"What the bloody hell!" Arthur exclaimed, staring at the page. "What in God's name ... is this legal? What she's doing? She can't say this shit!"

Leon said, "Well, if you let me have a look--"

"No," Arthur said, snatching the magazine up to his chest. He scowled. "I'm not done yet."

"Well, then I really can't help, can I?" Leon said reasonably. "But I would bet you any money that she made sure she had legal counsel before she said anything."

"This is crap!" Arthur repeated.

Percy looked over the seat again. "If you're not going to share, Arthur, kindly do shut up. Some of us are actually trying to rest."

Arthur waved a non-threatening fist in the air, and went back to the paper. "I can not believe this," he muttered, but continued reading.

\---

_**Morgana:** That's not what I wanted to talk about today, though. Today, I wanted to talk about my religion, which I could not disclose when I was an employee of Camelot Records, and which my lawyers advised me I should not bring up in the court case, as Camelot Records' representation could twist it around and use it against me. It's not been the first time that's happened and held up in a court of law._

_**Interviewer:** What do you mean?  
 **Morgana:** I am of the Old Religion faith_

_**Morgana:** It's a lovely, peaceful faith. However, it was one that Uther Pendragon hated fiercely. And living under his roof -- I had to pretend, you see, that I didn't care either way. That was the best way to get by. I remember sneaking out so I could partake in our holidays, and I would go to my friends' homes to light candles and say prayers to our Gods and Goddesses. And it was absolutely necessary while I was under employment with Camelot Records that I did not reveal that -- I would've lost my job._

_**Interviewer:** There's been a number of cases against Camelot Records for discrimination, hasn't there?  
 **Morgana:** Oh, yes. And they always get away with it. Their legal department is powerful, and our legal system is flawed._

_**Interviewer:** You did end up leaving, though.  
 **Morgana:** Yes, I quit. After I confronted Uther and he refused to acknowledge my parentage, and after he fired a second friend of mine he'd discovered practices, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to leave, on my own terms._

_**Interviewer:** Why do you come forward now?  
 **Morgana:** I want everyone to know that they don't have to hide who they are. I will never reveal their identities, but I know throughout this city there are those who must hide from that oppression, that discrimination. And it is _ wrong _and they need to stand up for themselves._

_See next edition for more on this interview with Morgana le Fey._

 

\---

 

Arthur handed the paper over to Leon and said, "Shit."

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose, waited it out while Leon read it and made interested little noises under his breath. Leon passed it up to Percy and sat quietly while he finished too.

When Percy's head popped over the top of the seat, he said, "Well. Damn."

Arthur snorted and scrubbed a hand over his face. "No shit. God, this is a mess."

"Well," Leon said, "it doesn't have anything to do with you, does it?"

"Doesn't it? It certainly does with Camelot Records. Our PR and legal team must be in a tizzy by now. And --" Arthur sighed. "And, yeah. Merlin."

Leon didn't look at all surprised with that admission. "Right. There is that. Explains a lot, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Arthur admits. "Sheds some light on a lot of things. This whole past week has. Bloody hell, how is this simultaneously the best _and_ worst week that I've had in years?"

"Because," Percy said smoothly, "you're Arthur Pendragon."

Leon chuckled and Arthur sighed. "Right," Arthur said. "I'm Arthur Pendragon. Of course it would go that way."

When they landed and the three of them finally cleared customs and picked up their luggage, getting a cab to their hotel, Arthur switched on his mobile. Just to take a quick look, even though it was bound to cost him a fortune.

There was one text message from Merlin. _i didn't know bout her. or her me. just so you know._ Word must've got out about the article back home; Gaius probably knew and told Merlin. Funny how his little world could change in the course of one over-seas flight.

Though, Arthur wasn't entirely sure about believing that Merlin hadn't known. He now had the suspicion that Morgana had known about Merlin, or at least suspected, and that's why she seemed to think Merlin was so useful. He didn't know what to think about what Merlin knew and didn't know; he wasn't sure what to trust there any more.

But Arthur texted back _ok_. He left it at that, though, because he had a full schedule and absolutely no more time to think about it right then.

**

When his name was called, it felt like time was frozen for a moment, suspended and still; Arthur couldn't help but think, _I wonder if Merlin can do that_ because he'd read that maybe, just maybe, that was something that some people who claimed to have magic could do for a couple seconds at a time. 

But it wasn't that, he knew -- it was the utter surprise and shock at having _won_ that made everything seem like it was slowed down.

The pause ended when his brain caught up with the world, and then it was a crashing wave of applause and lights, faces and smiles and congratulations from around him all a blur. And as he stood up, and despite the shock of winning a Grammy, all he could think was, _I wish Merlin were here._ Merlin was all that was really on his mind.

Arthur quickly plastered on a smile and made his way down the aisle, hopping up the stairs, and received his golden award from the skinny young singer in her skimpy dress and wild hair.

He leaned to the microphone and said, "Wow. Wow, thank you so much." He knew he didn't have a lot of time, speeches kept short so that showtime didn't run too long. He fumbled for words in his head, though; at Leon's insistence, he'd written up a speech so that he wouldn't be caught unaware. But no amount of preparing or speculating or hope or _anything_ had prepared Arthur for this.

"First, I must thank all my fans for their support. You're amazing. And thank you to those who felt I was deserving of this award -- I'll never be able to explain how honoured I am. There are so many people in my life, past and present, I'd like to thank for their love and support and encouragement to getting me here today. My father, who did the best by me he could. Our long-time family friend, Gaius. My mates, Lance, Gwaine, Elyan and Leon and Percy for always, _always_ standing by me. "

Arthur paused then, taking just enough time to try to gather breath, and then said,

"Mostly, I must thank someone who I have known for a long time, and has been very special to me for as long as I've known him, even if I was a bit slow on the uptake. Merlin, thank you for being my number one fan, my friend, and most of all, my love. I wish you were with me tonight to share in this, as I could never have done it without you. See you soon."

With a final nod of his head, Arthur turned and walked away, following the attendant off stage right. He barely registered the applause and the music that signaled a commercial break.

Backstage was in a tizzy, everyone in a bustle to make sure things ran smoothly. He got nods and shoulder claps and he tried to do his best to acknowledge them, but mostly his heart was pounding so hard he heard it deafening in his ears, and he probably appeared rather dazed.

Leon appeared at his side within a minute. "Well, then," he said, "congratulations."

"Thank you," Arthur said.

Leon rolled his eyes. "Couldn't have given us a little bit of a warning, could you? You know, I had a plan."

"I know. I'm sorry," Arthur said. "It just … came out."

"About bloody time," Leon said. He nodded to where a woman with a headset and clipboard was bustling towards them. "You have to go do press now."

"No," Arthur said.

"That's how this goes," Leon said. "You know that. They'll ask you questions and you'll give shaky but hopefully witty answers about your win and now your boyfriend and--"

"No," Arthur repeated. "Let's get out of here. Now. I want to go home."

Leon quirked an eyebrow. "What?"

"Now, now," Arthur said, waving a hand at him. "Change our flights. I need to go home. To London."

"Why?"

"Merlin's there," Arthur said.

Leon sighed as if quite put upon, but he pulled out his mobile. "I'll get hold of Percy, he's somewhere, and he'll arrange for the car to collect us. But!" he said, holding up a finger. " _Only_ if you let me do my job now and make arrangements to deal with all--" he swirled his finger through the air "--of this properly this time."

Arthur smiled. "Deal."

**

No one expected Arthur quite yet so sneaking through Heathrow was a lot easier than he anticipated. Percy insisted on riding with Arthur until he reached his destination, which only made Arthur roll his eyes but he was honestly grateful for it. 

"Good luck," Percy said with a manly clap to Arthur's back as he got out of the cab.

"Thanks, mate. Talk to you later."

Arthur took in a deep breath and then knocked on Gaius' door.

Gaius answered it and stared at Arthur.

"I know, I know," Arthur said, "it's about time I fix it."

"Actually, it's about time you both fix it," Gaius said as he opened the door further and let Arthur in. "So please do."

Arthur smiled appreciatively at Gaius and stepped in, and set down his luggage after Gaius told him it was all right to leave it upstairs. He wasn't worried about the award that was neatly tucked away. He trusted Gaius.

"Is he even here?" Arthur asked.

Gaius nodded. "He's pretending not to wait by the phone."

Arthur wanted to laugh at that, but he wasn't sure it was appropriate at the moment, so he gave a small smile. It made him feel better, though, knowing that Merlin was actually waiting to talk to him -- but he hoped it was for good reasons.

"All right, I'll go down," Arthur said. "Thanks, Gaius."

"Arthur, wait," Gaius said, causing him to pause. Gaius stood with his hands clasped in front of him, assessing Arthur for a moment. "Is it going to be an issue?"

"Is what?"

Gaius said, "Practicing Druidism. And working for Camelot Records. If it is, I may as well hand in my resignation right now."

Arthur took in Gaius, his peaceful calm, and looked around his home; saw the plants and the candles and the old books on the shelves Arthur never looked at, remembered that there was a fire pit in the back yard. It wasn't as much a surprise as it would've been even a month ago; their conversation from long ago about his parents and the beginning of Camelot Records had been playing on his mind in the past week or so.

Arthur put his hand on Gaius' shoulder. "Not an issue at all," he said, and tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. "Well, unless it interferes with your work, but after all these years, it certainly hasn't, has it?"

Gaius smiled. "No, it hasn't. Quite the opposite, believe it or not."

"I do," Arthur said. "Your loyalty to the company is not forgotten. Please don't worry about that, all right?"

"All right," Gaius said. "I should like to sit down with you sometime, though, to talk. Nothing about business," he added at Arthur's questioning look. "But about your parents. Your mother, particularly, if you'll hear it."

"Nothing would please me more," Arthur said honestly. "Whatever it is, as long as it's the truth, I want to know."

"Fair enough," Gaius said. He shooed Arthur away. "Now, go on down there. He's been moping for a week. You both need to get sorted."

"Too true," Arthur said.

"But don't you dare hold that over him," Gaius said, pointing a finger warningly at Arthur. "Don't think I don't know you haven't been moping around for a week yourself."

"Who, me? Where'd you hear that from?" Arthur asked. "No, wait. Leon."

"Excellent employee, that one."

"I'm going to have to have a talk with him," Arthur muttered under his breath, but he waved in parting over his shoulder and went down the stairs.

He knocked first, and heard Merlin shout up, "Yeah?" Arthur took that as invitation enough and made his way down. He didn't answer right away when Merlin called out, "Gaius, is that you?"

Arthur descended the stairs and made his way to the sitting room. "No, it's me."

Merlin had been facing the television, apparently playing some Xbox game rather half-heartedly. He started and turned around, gaping as Arthur entered the room. "Arthur!" he exclaimed, and jumped up off the couch. "You're here!"

"Yes, apparently I am."

It seemed as though Merlin wanted to ask a million different things, but he settled on, "Aren't you supposed to be in America still? There was a report of you not attending any after parties or doing interviews or--"

"I decided to come home immediately after I won," Arthur said.

"A _Grammy_ ," Merlin breathed, and he grinned ear to ear. "You won a Grammy!"

"It seems so," Arthur said, though he was barely biting back his own smile. "It was a pretty big night for me, you know."

Merlin shrugged, nonchalant. "Oh, yeah, I guess. Whatever."

Arthur chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "Well. I did say I would see you soon."

"You did," Merlin breathed out, sounding rather awed. "I watched a replay of your speech this morning and, Arthur -- you -- that --"

"You're not mad?" Arthur asked. He thought of that on the plane back when sleep was eluding him. It had seemed right at the time, a grand gesture, but once the adrenaline wore off, perhaps it wasn't the best declaration of love he could've gone with. "I just outed us in front of a bunch of people."

"A bunch? Try millions," Merlin said. "Besides, I was already out -- but you. _You_. And you went and said that! Why?"

"I thought that was fairly obvious."

"Tell me anyway."

"Because I wanted to," Arthur said immediately, and started to cross the room to Merlin. "Because I should've a long time ago. Because I wanted everyone to know, but especially _you_."

"I know already," Merlin said fondly, reaching his hands out as Arthur got closer. "You might've been having a well deserved snit, but I know."

Arthur didn't say anything, but cupped Merlin's cheek with his hand and guided him into a kiss. When their lips met, he could feel Merlin melt against him, as if trying to fuse their bodies together so they'd never be apart again. Arthur reciprocated and held Merlin as close as possible, kissing him over and over, trying to make up for the past week and a half.

"Are we okay?" Merlin asked when their lips parted. They still clung onto each other.

"We will be," Arthur said. "After we talk. We have a lot to talk about."

Merlin nodded in agreement. "I know. But you're -- I'm so sorry, you have no idea--"

"Enough," Arthur said, kissing him to quiet him. "You can't keep apologising forever, that's not fair. I know you're sorry, I do. Besides, I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"For being so closed minded about that you couldn't trust me with it," Arthur said. "And I'm not saying that it's going to be easy or I'm going to be totally okay with it all at once -- but I'm going to try."

"That's all I want," Merlin said, rubbing a hand over Arthur's spine. "That's all I ever wanted. We'll work at it. Together."

"Yes," Arthur said. "But can we do that after?"

"Gods, yes," Merlin said, and he slotted their lips together in another kiss. This was different; it was desperate, passionate, and ratcheted everything up by a million notches.

"You know," Arthur said as they hastily stripped off each other's clothes, stumbling their way into Merlin's bedroom, "I have terrible jet leg. Just awful, all this flying. I still haven't recovered from a couple of days ago."

"Oh, yeah?" Merlin said as he nipped at Arthur's mouth.

Arthur pulled away and then flopped back onto the bed, stretching his body languidly. Merlin eyed him hungrily. "Yeah," said Arthur. "I might be too tired for this. Seriously, I could just roll over and nap right now."

"Oh, no you don't," Merlin said, throwing himself on top of Arthur's body when he tried to curl onto his side. Arthur huffed out a laugh, wiggling to get his arm free from where it was pinned between their bodies. Merlin demanded, "No sleeping!"

"Will you make it worth my while?" Arthur asked. He was only kidding, of course; there was no way he could sleep right now, not with a naked Merlin squirming around on top of him.

"More than worth it," Merlin declared, sitting up and straddling Arthur's hips. "I see that, as usual, you leave all the work to me--"

"Hey!" Arthur protested.

Merlin ignored him and continued as he leaned over to fish the lube out of the bedside table, "And so I will endeavor to make it good for you as you seem to be too lazy to do it for me--" Merlin cut off with a loud burst of laughter as Arthur moved to half-tackle, half-tickle. "Okay, okay! I'm kidding."

"Hopefully not about the worth my while thing," Arthur grumbled half-heartedly, making a grab for the lube.

Merlin held it out of his reach. "No, no, I want to. Just relax," he said, pushing back on Arthur's shoulder until he went limp against the bed.

"Oh, god," Arthur sighed happily as Merlin dribbled lube onto his fingers and then reached behind himself. He was up on his knees, back arched, and hard dick bobbing in front of him as he fingered himself open. Arthur let out an interested groan. "I love when you do this."

Merlin was concentrating, and his face was already breaking out in sweat, but he grinned cheekily. "I know."

After a few moments of just lying back and watching, Arthur reached a hand between Merlin's legs, giving his balls a gentle squeeze before rubbing the soft skin behind them. "Sure you don't want some help?" Merlin gasped and nodded jerkily. Arthur pulled back to coat his fingers in lube too, and then the two of them fingered him together, slicking him up and making him loose.

"Okay, enough, enough," Merlin gasped, grabbing Arthur's arm and gently pushing at it until Arthur took the hint and slid his fingers out. "It's okay, I'm ready."

Arthur pulled back, shoulders rolling back onto the bed, and his hands smoothed over Merlin's thighs, one leaving a trail of lube behind. Merlin made a face at him, but then grinned as he slicked up Arthur's hard cock, causing Arthur to dig his fingernails into lean muscle.

Merlin scooted up the bed and reached behind him to hold Arthur's cock steady, and he slid slowly, rocking himself down to take in more, to take it all in. Merlin's breath hitched with each inch down. Arthur's entire body was trembling from trying to hold back, to not just thrust up as hard as he could. It certainly wasn't the first time they'd done it this way, having made the decision together months ago after testing, but it always felt so good. So much better, warm and tight and like Arthur couldn't get any closer to Merlin if he tried.

Merlin groaned when he bottomed out and Arthur was balls deep in him. Arthur's question came out hoarse. "You good?"

"Oh, yeah. Fantastic," Merlin said breathlessly, rocking his hips a little. Arthur moaned and rocked back, and it didn't take long until they found their rhythm. Merlin rode Arthur hard, one hand rested behind him on Arthur's thigh, while Arthur gripped his hips and pushed up when Merlin pushed down.

"Merlin, I want -- I need--" Arthur couldn't get it out, not with the way Merlin was moving, so he used his strength to push himself up. Merlin nearly knocked over backwards, which made him laugh breathlessly. But Arthur maneuvered them, so that they were sitting up together, Merlin in his lap and still riding his cock. Merlin's legs were stretched out around Arthur and they were pressed chest to chest, kissing.

"I can't really move like this," Merlin said as he kissed Arthur, his hands slicking over Arthur's sweaty back. He didn't seem to mind, though, that he couldn't. He arched back, his pale neck exposed. "You in so deep, fuck, I feel so full."

"Fuck, Merlin," Arthur said, and started sucking on Merlin's neck. His hands squeezed Merlin's arse, helping him rock faster. Merlin moaned and his limbs clamped around Arthur, a vice that kept him close, as his hips moved and he tried to get some leverage.

"I love you," Merlin said as he bit on Arthur's bottom lip. "And I love this, I do. But if you don't give me a good fast fuck right now--"

Arthur half-groaned, half-laughed. "All right, then, off," Arthur said, and waited until Merlin pushed himself off Arthur's cock before grabbing his waist in quick movements that had Merlin on his back. Arthur grabbed his knees and pushed him over until Merlin was nearly bent in two, and Arthur pushed back into him in a swift movement. "Like this? This is how you want it?"

"Gods, _yes_ ," Merlin groaned. "Like that -- no, harder -- _fuck_ , Arthur." One of Merlin's hands gripped in Arthur's hair while the other one reached to the side, tried to scrabble at the back of Arthur's thigh but his nails ended up scratching over his arse. He let out a little cry with each thrust Arthur made. "Makes me think -- oh, yeah -- of our first time. Remember?"

"Will never forget," Arthur grunted, his hips snapping roughly, driving in deeper and deeper. "Come on, do yourself."

Merlin reached between them and started jerking himself off. It wasn't long before his body was tense around Arthur's, and then he shuddered as he came, legs jerking where they were locked around Arthur's back, heels digging into Arthur's lower spine. Arthur slowed down his pace a little, though worked Merlin through his orgasm. He nearly stopped altogether when Merlin made a sensitive whimper, just rocked his hips and kissed Merlin's neck as Merlin gasped.

"Come on," Merlin said when he came down from it, tilting his hips and grabbing Arthur's shoulders. "Come on, do it. I want to feel it, want to feel you come in me."

Arthur groaned and started moving again, until he reached his fast, quick pace. It was him groaning deeply now, especially when Merlin clamped around him and it was a sweet drag out and back in again, Merlin's body still shaking with aftershocks. That feeling built up in Arthur's belly, the one that was overpowering and made him feel so fucking out of it, and his balls drew up tight. He pushed into Merlin's warm body and came deep in him, just like he wanted.

When Arthur finally caught his breath and pulled out, he had to force his limbs to stand up instead of just collapsing right there. But Merlin wasn't letting him go anyway, grabbing his wrist and tugging him back down. 

"I'll go get a cloth," Arthur said.

Merlin shook his head. "No. No, I don't care, just stay with me. Besides, I like it. I like feeling it."

"And you call _me_ dirty," Arthur grumbled, but didn't protest any more. He fell back to the bed beside Merlin, though he did reach over to the nightstand and grabbed some tissues, trying to mop up the come from across Merlin's stomach and from between his legs as best as he could.

"On second thought, I do like it when you do that too," Merlin said happily, his body stretching out to take up as much space as possible, including draping over Arthur. Arthur pushed at him and he easily moved so that Arthur could pull the blanket over them and spoon up behind Merlin, tucking Merlin in close so that they could both sleep comfortably. Arthur was _exhausted_ , but sated and happy and back with Merlin, so it was worth it.

Their breathing evened out, but Arthur didn't fall asleep immediately like he wanted to. "Merlin?" he said softly.

"Yeah?" Merlin replied. He sounded sleepy too, but with it enough that Arthur thought it would be okay to ask a question and have a remembered response.

"We need to talk," Arthur said.

"I know," Merlin answered. He tried to wiggle around but Arthur squeezed him closer, holding him in place. "Right now?"

"No," Arthur said. He ran a hand down Merlin's arm, and then took Merlin's hand in his. "But I'd like you to tell me about it."

Even though they were lying in bed in a rested position, Arthur could feel Merlin go even stiller next to him. Tense, for a moment. "About it?" Merlin echoed.

"Yes. About ... being a Druid," Arthur made himself say, and he was happy to find he didn't even sound negative. Because he _wasn't_. "I want to know about that, and about your religion. And your -- your magic." That was a little harder to say, but he still could. "Merlin, I want to know you, all about you, every bit. And maybe -- maybe it'll take me time to get used to it, but I want to be okay with it. I'll try. Okay?"

Merlin did turn over so that he was looking right into Arthur's eyes. "Okay," Merlin said, and there was a soft smile tugging at his lips. "I'll tell you everything you want to know. No more secrets."

"No more secrets," Arthur echoed. "That goes for me too."

"You just told everybody your one secret. I don't think that's an issue."

"I still have a lot to say," Arthur said. "But we'll do it together, all right?"

"Sounds perfect," Merlin said, and it sounded like he truly believed that.

"But maybe after some sleep," Arthur added after he yawned. "I'll probably be much more receptive to it if I'm not dead tired."

Merlin laughed softly. "Agreed. Get some rest, Arthur. We've got plenty of time."

"All the time in the world," Arthur agreed. Merlin snuggled in closer, and Arthur knew that even though everything wasn't perfect, and they still had a lot more work to do, they were going to make it. He was going to make sure of it.


	5. Step Five - Don't You Know The Time Has Arrived (epilogue)

**

[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part5/2coverout.png)  
[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part5/3out1.png)[](http://mm.madbrilliant.com/SBS/Part5/4out2.png)

**OUT Magazine**  
 _February, 2007_

_OUT Magazine had the pleasure of being able to sit down and speak with famous openly gay couple, Arthur Pendragon and Merlin Emrys. Pendragon, 28-years-old, is widely known for being a member of the boy band group, The Knights, as well as his own successful solo singing career. Emrys, 26-years-old, though not as publicly visible a career, is a very accomplished writer of sci-fi novels, as well as penning the film adaptation of the first,_ Kill, Gharrah _in his series. The film_ Kill, Gharrah _was released in November 2006, and was one of the highest grossing films over the holiday season._

_Their relationship became public about a year ago. But not only do they share their personal life together, but it seems that their professional careers are also now sharing the same spotlight._

_Emrys has been nominated for an Oscar for his adaptation, and Pendragon, along with the other Knights, have been nominated for Best Original Song for their single,_ Destiny _._

_**OUT:** You went public with your relationship just about a year ago, and you did a number of interviews then, so I'm not going to rehash that whole story. But, I want to know -- how's it been since then? Is it a decision you're happy with?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Our relationship itself? It's never been better. Yes, we have to deal with a lot more attention, and it was overwhelming at times, but that's mostly settled now. But coming out has proved to be an excellent idea. Best decision to make.  
 **Merlin Emrys:** Which I told him from the start.  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** That he did. But I didn't think it was the right time at first--  
 **Merlin Emrys:** Which I supported!  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** But we're both very happy to be able to be public with our relationship, not hiding anything. It's what's right. Anyone should be able to do that._

_**OUT:** But you didn't, not for a while. Yes, Merlin was out, but you weren't, Arthur.  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** I wasn't. It was more a business decision than anything -- being in a boy band, or even a solo pop star, you want to attract a certain demographic. Being a young, straight, available male was how that was done. I'm not saying it's right -- in fact, I'm saying it's _not_ right -- but that's the way it was. It still is like that, in some ways, but times are changing. I hope they continue to._

_**OUT:** Do you regret keeping it secret all those years?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** I try not to live by regrets, there's no sense in dwelling. But I do what I can to make changes, to better myself for the future. I very much support the LGBT community, and I'm happy in knowing that at least Camelot Records has approached a change in stance on that, amongst other things, and I strive to inspire others to do the same._

_**OUT:** Merlin, even before you were involved with Arthur, how did you feel knowing that Arthur decided to keep that secret?  
 **Merlin Emrys:** I was his friend for a long time and I can't say that I was happy about it. I wished more for him, and better, and for what was right. But I understood, in a way. I wasn't without my own secrets, and he doesn't hold that against me, so I won't hold his past decisions against him. Everything is out in the open between us now, and we just want to move forward._

_**OUT:** And moving forward you are -- how did it feel to work on the same project together?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** I think it's brilliant, absolutely marvelous.  
 **Merlin Emrys:** We didn't really work together, per se -- I had nothing to do with the music end of things –  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** But it's still an incredible feeling to know we both contributed to the film, in our own ways.  
 **Merlin Emrys:** It is, it truly is. Something for both of us to celebrate in._

_**OUT:** Arthur, I heard you were approached to do the song as a solo. Is that true?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** It is, but I immediately requested that I be able to do it with The Knights, if they were willing._

_**OUT:** Which they were, apparently.  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Yes, very much. Lance [du Lac] and Gwaine [Orkney] were already working on the score, and this idea appealed to them. As did it to Elyan, who'd been spending a lot of time acting recently and loved the idea of singing again. We all thought it was time to get back to it, for the four of us to create music together. It was so different this time too; we've grown and changed, and write our own lyrics and music now. It's a very different sound than what we used to have, but still _ us _.  
 **Merlin Emrys:** I loved the idea, actually. I've been a fan--  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** And a friend!  
 **Merlin Emrys:** Yes, a fan _and_ a friend of all of them for a long time.  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** We did it for Merlin, really, to honour him.  
 **Merlin Emrys:** And honoured I was! I was shocked and extremely pleased to know that The Knights were back together, even if only for one song, and because of me.  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Well, Merlin is a brilliant writer, and created a beautiful, compelling story. We wanted to be a part of that, somehow, all of us._

_**OUT:** But will The Knights be back together for longer than that? Any more music, or maybe a reunion tour, in the works?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** Well, we're always together, even if not everyone sees it. But, I don't know, there's been talks about it, but I wouldn't want to say anything more until we know for sure. _

_**OUT:** And what about you, Merlin? Any more plans to write more screenplays? Adaptations _ or _originals?  
 **Merlin Emrys:** I'm working on finishing up my book series -- there will be five books in the Gharrah series. Once that's done -- well, we'll just have to see where we go from there._

_**OUT:** And any future collaborations planned for the two you in the near future? Professionally _or_ personally?  
 **Arthur Pendragon:** [laughs] That's always a possibility.  
 **Merlin Emrys:** Let's just get through the award season first, then we'll worry about that._

_**OUT:** Indeed, good luck to you both.  
 **Together:** Thank you._

**

"I think I'm going to throw up." Merlin stood in front of the mirror and tugged at the tie around his neck, and fidgeted with his tux jacket for about the millionth time in half an hour. 

"You're not going to throw up," Arthur said calmly. He had his shoulder leaned against the wall, arms crossed, as he watched Merlin get ready. Arthur, of course, was already ready, hair all in place and looking immaculate in his suit.

Merlin's hair was a mess, as usual, curly tufts sticking up. His suit fit him for once, tailored especially for him, but he still didn't look _comfortable_ in it. But to Arthur he looked bloody perfect.

"This isn't for me," Merlin said as he looked into the mirror. He waved his hand around. "This is your thing, all the press and the people and the awards."

Arthur stepped smoothly behind him, so that they were both facing the mirror, Arthur's reflection mostly obscured by Merlin's. He did poke his head around so he could see, and he reached around so that he could straighten Merlin's tie and run his hands over the lapels.

"Of course it's for you," Arthur said. "Tonight, it is, because you deserve it."

"So do you," Merlin said. "You're nominated too."

"The Knights are nominated, yes," Arthur agreed. He settled his hands low on Merlin's stomach and squeezed him closer, hooking his chin over Merlin's shoulder. He pressed a soft kiss to Merlin's neck. "But it'd be nothing without you. Tonight is yours."

"Ours," Merlin said. "And I won't take anything more or less."

Arthur kissed him again and smiled, stepping away. "All right, then, I can accept that. Our night."

"Good," Merlin nodded firmly. "Now, we really should be on the way, Percy will have the car around for us shortly."

"Yes, but we have a few minutes yet. Would you like to take a moment and pray?"

Merlin paused in spot, and his face went soft and fond. "Really? You don't mind?"

"Of course not," Arthur said, and that was entirely true. He was still getting used to it, maybe, and it wasn't particularly _his_ religion, but he knew now that Merlin liked to do it when he could, especially in important moments.

"All right, then," Merlin said. "Will you join me? At least, sit with me?"

Arthur smiled. "Yes, I will."

He and Merlin knelt next to the coffee table, where Merlin lit one of the small candles he carried with him when he travelled, and Arthur knew this one was a gift from Gilli and Freya for the occasion. It wasn't like the big, scented ones in their living room but it would do. Arthur always found the atmosphere like this a bit weird -- they weren't in a darkened room, lit only by the orange flickering flames. They were in their hotel room, in the middle of the afternoon, bright California sun streaming in through the windows. 

But it didn't take long to feel settled as Merlin took one of Arthur's hands in his. Merlin closed his eyes, and spoke quietly in words that Arthur didn't understand yet. But he felt it, the peace that filled in, the anxiousness for the upcoming evening fading away until only excitement was left. Arthur watched as Merlin's magic turned the flamed yellow to orange to red to deep purple. When Merlin concluded his prayer, it extinguished completely.

It was beautiful.

Merlin opened his eyes and smiled warmly at Arthur, but it was Arthur who said, "Thank you." 

Merlin looked surprised for a second, but then he leaned in to kiss Arthur. "Thank _you_."

"Come on, then," Arthur said when they were done their kiss. "We must be off." He helped Merlin up off the floor, and straightened him out again. Then the two of them left their hotel room to meet the others in the lobby.

As they were in the lift, Merlin said, "Oh, I checked my email when you were in the shower. Morgana sent us one. She says good luck."

"Yeah?" Arthur asked. He felt pleased in knowing that she extended that to him. "I'll thank her when I see her."

His relationship with Morgana was still rocky; she, and Morgause, had absolutely refused him when he offered a position back at Camelot Records. But he wasn't upset by it, really -- they did have their own thing going on, with Agravaine at the helm, and he understood why she'd want to be successful in her own right. But it was enough of an olive branch -- that, plus Merlin's secret coming out and the fact that Arthur had stayed with him and loved him still, plus all the changes being made at Camelot Records -- that Morgana was willing to try to build a relationship with her brother, even if somewhat distanced. Arthur was grateful for it, though still annoyed that neither she nor Morgause would admit why Merlin was so useful. 

But he had figured it out anyway. They'd known about Arthur's secret, and they'd known about Merlin's, and they knew, somehow they knew, that Merlin was the piece that would make everything better. And he had, so much. Arthur didn't know what he'd do without him.

When they exited the lift, and went into the foyer, Arthur and Merlin greeted their friends. Leon and Percy standing there with their ever watchful eye. Lance and Gwen, happily in love as ever. Gwaine and Elena, who had surprisingly tamed the wild beast, as Arthur liked to tease. Elyan and Mary, in a rare public appearance, as lovely and stable a couple as always. Everyone looked stunning and nervous and happy. 

But it was later that evening, when Arthur was on stage with The Knights, performing their nominated song, and knowing that Merlin was right there in the audience watching with accolades of his own, that Arthur knew he was the luckiest man in the world. He could not wait to find out what was next, and he knew now, more than ever, that he wouldn't ever have to face it alone.

**

_From the desk of Gaius, CEO of Camelot Records:_

**The Knights: Once and Future**  
Targeted release date: 2008  
Track List: to be determined

~ end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gwyntastic's amazing graphics can be viewed separately [here](http://shoppery.livejournal.com/3159.html) on her lj. Please tell her how amazing she is, she put a lot of work into this! :)
> 
> Random fact: All the track listings are based on episodes. (So, album 1, tracks 1 - 13 = season 1, episode 1-13, and so on.)


End file.
